mutemath Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I met this guy at a party a few weeks ago and we exchanged numbers. He seems cool, this sounds kind of weird but I'm attracted to him at some angles but not others. So, sometimes I am attracted to him and want to be near him, and other times I am not. So far we've hung out twice after the party. The first time was a lot of fun, I thought he was cuter than I remembered and we laughed a lot and he seemed interesting. The second time we hung out for a long time, around 11 hours or so. We met early for coffee and then his roommate and friends asked if we wanted to go to a movie, which was several hours later. Most of the time we were in a group. I noticed the second time we hung out I felt kind of bored and wasn't sure if I was attracted again. I was trying to have fun and be in the moment but I noticed myself being bored and wanting to check my phone and was looking forward to going home and going to sleep. I was also a little depressed that day. At this point I'm still unsure if I'm attracted to him, but part of me is still curious about him. Could there still be potential here, or is it a bad sign that we've hung out for 11 hours (on the second "date") and I was bored?
thats what i said Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 The first few dates are typically not that long and are mostly to get to know one another to see if you really want to continue seeing each other. An 11 hour second date is unusual and I'm not really surprised that you got bored. You don't know each other yet and it's not always easy to keep your date entertained when you're with a bunch of friends. One thing that might be helpful to you to know is I met a guy recently over the holidays and he was just the greatest guy. Then we went on a date... with his friends. He was a little different and not the same guy I first met. Next date, same thing. I was officially BORED and about to move on. He wanted to see me again, I reluctantly agreed and this time it was just us. TOTALLY different guy. Here was the guy I first met and liked. Could be a similar situation with your guy.
Author mutemath Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 Thanks for the advice! I guess I should mention that the parts I felt the most bored was when there was awkward silences or when we were with other people. When it was just the two of us talking, conversation seemed to flow smoothly and was nice, though there were awkward silences here and there.
JohnP82 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yeah, give it another shot. Also Mutemath is an amazing band!
bwidger Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Geez, give it another shot... you just met this guy...
CaspianDreams Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 People are different in groups - heck, I know I am, in particular if you're with some one new. If you see him again, just toss in the stipulation, that you want to see him, and not his friends, as you're still in get to know each other mode.
Author mutemath Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Just thought I'd post a follow-up to my original post. We ended up hanging out again this week and I had a totally different perspective, spending him time with him just made me feel like wow, he IS really cute and someone I want to get to know more. We are getting together again tomorrow and I am excited about it. I think just a combination of things made the second date a bit awkward, but I'm glad I gave it another chance.
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