disgracian Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 I'm not going to ask a friend or any one in real life this question If you actually want an answer (and are not just trolling) then why on earth not? Cheers, D.
theBrokenMuse Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 If you actually want an answer (and are not just trolling) then why on earth not? Cheers, D. Well I think it may have a little something to do with this: "Seriously Kashmir should be able to call them cows. There faces look all stretched out its disgusting." "I truely love the male posters who've come on and been honest about how they have little patience for women who are fat and yes remind us of cows seriously cows and women different species" "you have every right in the world to be unattractive and disgusting if thats what you want" These are just a tiny sampling of the gems you'll find gleaned from his last thread about fat women entitled, "Fat Women Are Unattractive". He's acted more PC in this thread but I think that is only because the tone set by those replying to him have been different than the last thread. His friend has probably more than just an inkling, given this guy's obsessive repetitive hate mongering that he does not like fat people and I can guess what Green may be trying to avoid (if he's not a troll) is a very unpleasant confrontation with his friend or perhaps a falling out. It's like a guy with a friend whose in the KKK dating a black girl, I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship was already strained because of Green's worldview.
paddington bear Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 someone else mentioned this, but the overwhelming interest in talking about fat women might also be due to an unconscious desire for a 'fat woman' himself, but hating himself for it, otherwise why the obsession with the topic? Rather like the cliché of men who keep going on and on about gay men and how they hate them to hide from themselves and others that they are in fact gay. Who knows, but I think his question has well been answered. Some men like that, some don't. If green has a skinny girlfriend fine, if his friend doesn't, fine. Maybe he's embarrassed to be seen in public with his friend and friend's girlfriend because he thinks it reflects badly on him. But honestly instead of projecting all this curiosity onto his friend's preferences physically in a woman he should probably just get on with his own life and concentrate on his own girlfriend and relationship. Either that or go out and get with a 'fat woman' himself which I suspect is what he really wants.
Author Green Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 Hey Green, why is it so strange to think that every guy is not like you? Why is it difficult to accept that many other men have different preferences and that you are not the one mold that every man who is normal fits into? SOME MEN ARE ATTRACTED TO WOMEN WHO ARE OVERWEIGHT. WHY DO YOU CARE? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DATE OVERWEIGHT WOMEN. SO WHY DO YOU CARE OR WHY DOES IT FASCINATE AND SHOCK YOU THAT SOME MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOU? NEWSFLASH: NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE YOU. Why does it make you so angry? and if your not angry why type in all caps you do know thats internet talk for yelling maybe he's more interested in men than women. and maybe you're homophobic if you think calling some one gay is an insult. The fact is the thread was about why date fat people and wasn't meant to focus on women even though at times one gender was mentioned. You dislike the answer because it doesn't cause conflict? Because it doesn't feed the argument? You seem more like a troll with comments like this. Truth is, you cannot understand why someone would date someone you aren't attracted to. It cannot be explained to you. Or anyone else for that matter. We are attracted to what and whom we are attracted to for reasons even we don't really understand. You will never know or understand why a person is attracted to a fat person any more than you will understand why I think a rainy day is just as beautiful as a sunny day or why some like dogs more than cats. Some things are best left mysteries. Move on. No the Truth is if your interested in the way something controversial works don't post about it on the internet because all you question will get is mostly non answers and thought ending cliche statements "Some things are best left mysteries." F mysteries I wanted answers and I did get some but mostly I got the thats just the way things are how dare you ask. If you asked some one why they liked dogs more then cats they would give you actual answers, they would say dogs are more trainable or I like playing fetch or I'm alergic to cat hair but poodles no... So no you cat/dog anology is not correct. If you actually want an answer (and are not just trolling) then why on earth not? Cheers, D. The reason I'm not going to ask my friend or other people in real life is because I don't want to hurt there feelings and it would be rude but it doesn't change the fact that I am curiouse. Even if I did ask I doubt the true reasons would come forth I was hoping the anonymous nature of this website would breed honest answers. Well I think it may have a little something to do with this: "Seriously Kashmir should be able to call them cows. There faces look all stretched out its disgusting." "I truely love the male posters who've come on and been honest about how they have little patience for women who are fat and yes remind us of cows seriously cows and women different species" "you have every right in the world to be unattractive and disgusting if thats what you want" These are just a tiny sampling of the gems you'll find gleaned from his last thread about fat women entitled, "Fat Women Are Unattractive". He's acted more PC in this thread but I think that is only because the tone set by those replying to him have been different than the last thread. His friend has probably more than just an inkling, given this guy's obsessive repetitive hate mongering that he does not like fat people and I can guess what Green may be trying to avoid (if he's not a troll) is a very unpleasant confrontation with his friend or perhaps a falling out. It's like a guy with a friend whose in the KKK dating a black girl, I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship was already strained because of Green's worldview. I don't hate fat men or woman. I don't find them attractive is all. I shouldn't have said the over the top mean hearted things I said about fat people and I apologize for mean comments. I'm not a troll and I do have a friend who dates a 300lb+ girl who he is engaged to marry. I've never said anything or implied anything about him or his big woman someone else mentioned this, but the overwhelming interest in talking about fat women might also be due to an unconscious desire for a 'fat woman' himself, but hating himself for it, otherwise why the obsession with the topic? Rather like the cliché of men who keep going on and on about gay men and how they hate them to hide from themselves and others that they are in fact gay. Who knows, but I think his question has well been answered. Some men like that, some don't. If green has a skinny girlfriend fine, if his friend doesn't, fine. Maybe he's embarrassed to be seen in public with his friend and friend's girlfriend because he thinks it reflects badly on him. But honestly instead of projecting all this curiosity onto his friend's preferences physically in a woman he should probably just get on with his own life and concentrate on his own girlfriend and relationship. Either that or go out and get with a 'fat woman' himself which I suspect is what he really wants. I don't find 300+ lb women attractive at all. Sure a bigger woman like http://www.0x28.net/pict/101784_85_2.jpg this can be perfectly sexy but for me once they reach this size http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/pics/fat_girl.jpg they are no longer attractive. I am not ashamed of fat men or women being seen with me in public, not in the least, seriously unless it was a hike through the mountains or run or what ever I wouldn't care. I would be friends with fat people, in fact I am friends with fat people I just don't find them attractive and don't understand why other people do. I guess it boils down to big bellies and bloated faces look good to some people... or it might be that some people are not attracted to the physical but completly overlook it.
MissJoness Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 This thread is quite silly to me You all act like if you are skinny it means that you are automatically pretty. There are tons and tons of thin people who are ugly, with bad teeth, bad hair, ugly nose. There are women out there who are plump yet very beautiful Ex: http://media.photobucket.com/image/phyllis%20hyman/jga23/PhylllisHyman.jpg?o=7
Author Green Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 This thread is quite silly to me You all act like if you are skinny it means that you are automatically pretty. There are tons and tons of thin people who are ugly, with bad teeth, bad hair, ugly nose. There are women out there who are plump yet very beautiful Ex: http://media.photobucket.com/image/phyllis%20hyman/jga23/PhylllisHyman.jpg?o=7 Yes there are other factors like eyes, teeth, nose ect. that make up a persons looks and are not affected by being fat.... Phyillis Hyman is not at all the type of person I was talking about, she is not 300lb+ woman heck I'd be suprised if she was 200lb+
MissJoness Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Phyllis Hyman was 200+ lbs later in her career. She got up to 300 lbs. Yet she still had a very beautiful face. See not every big woman is ugly and not every thin woman is pretty
Author Green Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 Phyllis Hyman was 200+ lbs later in her career. She got up to 300 lbs. Yet she still had a very beautiful face. See not every big woman is ugly and not every thin woman is pretty I only looked at the pictures you sent me, and not every woman is Phyllis Hyman
and.then.some Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 (edited) it was simply to focus on how I do not understand how normal sized people what ever that means to you are attracted and will date very fat people. In my mind heres what I think it boils down to people get lonely and maybe in the past they didn't picture themselves with some one very fat but then they meet some one very fat and that person makes them happy and they feel attraction end of story. I thought this post was interesting... It seems like you're trying to validate your own beliefs, so I have to ask... why do you have to imagine that it has to be out of loneliness or some other type of desperation? It might not be out of extreme loneliness, but simply that one human being found another human being who was more amazing than anyone else. If this woman makes your friend feel more loved than anyone else ever has. If she treats him like a king and is a blessing to his life instead of problem, then should the size of this woman matter? Sometimes who a person is on they inside overshadows what the look like on the outside to some degree. Why he dated her, I can't say. That probably depends on how they met. Maybe he's a "chubby chaser". Who knows. I just think it's wrong to assume that people just sort of... end up with the clinically obese. I've seen lots of little men with big women. Some believe that they get better treatment (and better meals) with the larger woman... but, I think it's clearly more than that. I can be pretty shallow myself, and severe obesity is not something I'm currently able to handle in order to increase the odds of me finding "mr right" a little sooner. My point being, for those people who SERIOUSLY find obesity to be a turn off... it's just not something that will easily be turned on as a means of escaping the single life. The short answer is, no matter what other factors may come into play, those who choose obese people obviously don't have the same hangups about obesity. Nuff said! It really is just that simple... Edited January 3, 2010 by and.then.some
Author Green Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 I thought this post was interesting... It seems like you're trying to validate your own beliefs, so I have to ask... why do you have to imagine that it has to be out of loneliness or some other type of desperation? It might not be out of extreme loneliness, but simply that one human being found another human being who was more amazing than anyone else. If this woman makes your friend feel more loved than anyone else ever has. If she treats him like a king and is a blessing to his life instead of problem, then should the size of this woman matter? Sometimes who a person is on they inside overshadows what the look like on the outside to some degree. Why he dated her, I can't say. That probably depends on how they met. Maybe he's a "chubby chaser". Who knows. I just think it's wrong to assume that people just sort of... end up with the clinically obese. I've seen lots of little men with big women. Some believe that they get better treatment (and better meals) with the larger woman... but, I think it's clearly more than that. I can be pretty shallow myself, and severe obesity is not something I'm currently able to handle in order to increase the odds of me finding "mr right" a little sooner. My point being, for those people who SERIOUSLY find obesity to be a turn off... it's just not something that will easily be turned on as a means of escaping the single life. The short answer is, no matter what other factors may come into play, those who choose obese people obviously don't have the same hangups about obesity. Nuff said! It really is just that simple... How can you even call it shallow if you refuse to date and be attracted to an out of shape sumo wrestler. Look you're probably right, nuff said, I wouldn't recomend dating some one overly obese to me its the same as choosing to date some one who is an alcholic or some other self destructive activity. The only difference is its an alcoholic you can spot from the way they look, and the way it looks to me is unattractive.
disgracian Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 The reason I'm not going to ask my friend or other people in real life is because I don't want to hurt there feelings That is such a pathetic cop-out. I've already shown you how to find out without being a complete jerk back on page 1 or 2 of this thread. But this is part of a troll-like pattern of behaviour you're showing in that you ignore responses. Cheers, D.
Mary3 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Could it be that Green is somewhat unattractive and the only thing he does attract are obese females ? Just a thought....
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 It boils down to preferences. Again, the reason why a guy will chose to be with a bigger woman is his own. When he makes the decision, she has enough attractive qualities to outweigh the unnatractive ones.
CarrieT Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 How can you even call it shallow if you refuse to date and be attracted to an out of shape sumo wrestler. Ironically, in Japan it is the Sumo wrestlers who get and MARRY the famous THIN models. Don't dis a Sumo wrestler -- you have no idea what it takes to become one and they are more in shape than you would imagine (despite their size). This is Takanohana: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ndiP3fDD-mY/SeZ-OYfGnwI/AAAAAAAAA9I/079AS7XZypI/s320/Hakuho+&+wife.jpg Akebono and his wife: http://www.japan-zone.com/modern/pix/a/aihara_akebono.jpg Musashimaru and wife: http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39730000/jpg/_39730881_2.jpg
and.then.some Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 How can you even call it shallow if you refuse to date and be attracted to an out of shape sumo wrestler. Look you're probably right, nuff said, I wouldn't recomend dating some one overly obese to me its the same as choosing to date some one who is an alcholic or some other self destructive activity. The only difference is its an alcoholic you can spot from the way they look, and the way it looks to me is unattractive. I call it shallow because it is when your disinterest is based on more than general health concerns. When the concern is based primarily on appearances. Big girls and boys -as well as the little ones- need love too. If you're willing to disregard all of the goodness and beauty of a person solely because of their physical appearance, it's shallow. I'm not knocking you, as I can't help what I am attracted to either. For me it's not just extreme obesity that turns me off, but simply a guy being pudgy enough to have man boobs. (Which, depending on genetics and such, could happen at a wide variety of weights.) Yes, I do believe myself shallow for that. A little extra fat in a man's chest area doesn't make him a bad person, nor does it make him all together ugly. The same can be said for the 300 pound man or woman. To me, it shouldn't be an issue of being able to "settle for less", but being able to see past certain so-called flaws to who a person really is.
tami-chan Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Ironically, in Japan it is the Sumo wrestlers who get and MARRY the famous THIN models. Don't dis a Sumo wrestler -- you have no idea what it takes to become one and they are more in shape than you would imagine (despite their size). This is Takanohana: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ndiP3fDD-mY/SeZ-OYfGnwI/AAAAAAAAA9I/079AS7XZypI/s320/Hakuho+&+wife.jpg Akebono and his wife: http://www.japan-zone.com/modern/pix/a/aihara_akebono.jpg Musashimaru and wife: http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39730000/jpg/_39730881_2.jpg ahhhh...because we all know , power, money, prestige are aphrodisiacs! Besides the sumo-wrestlers are strong and not just sitting in front of the TV.....wasting their disability checks on junk food!
Author Green Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 ahhhh...because we all know , power, money, prestige are aphrodisiacs! Besides the sumo-wrestlers are strong and not just sitting in front of the TV.....wasting their disability checks on junk food! yes very big difference between a big sucsessful famouse athlete and your run of the mill couch potatoe fat guy even in Japan
Mary3 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Green , you know there are men who are ONLY attracted to large women , right ? One mans wife lost a ton of weight and he no longer wanted to have sex with her....believe that
samspade Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Date a fat woman if it floats your boat (ha). Physical attraction is the #1 factor for most men, but it of course is mitigated by many other variables (attitude, sense of humor, maturity, age, etc.). So don't feel ashamed if you're not attracted to fatties. In a long term relationship, you should be a little bit sensitive about it, but in the end be true to yourself. I believe each person owes it to his/her partner to stay in relative good shape and maintain attractiveness, barring serious medical problems. The thing is, for women, it matters slightly less if a man is overweight. In order to maintain her attraction to you, your job as a man is to keep yourself masculine. This can be done by staying in shape, but more importantly, you must maintain your frame and not morph into a cowering, whimpering, beta male that she can trod upon. She wants to know that not only are you still a catch, but that other women think so too (without you disrespecting her that is). In any case, for men and women, staying in shape is good for YOU, first and foremost.
alphamale Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 This can be done by staying in shape, but more importantly, you must maintain your frame and not morph into a cowering, whimpering, beta male that she can trod upon. She wants to know that not only are you still a catch, but that other women think so too (without you disrespecting her that is). i know a lot of men who are in great shape and married to overbearing large women that trod upon them
whimsical_memory Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I'm not saying that the physical is more important than the emotional/intellectual. However, when looking for someone to spend your life with there has to be physical and sexual attraction. I also dislike the idea often used in these weight threads that suggests a person can either be attractive physically or have a good personality. It's not that difficult to find someone with an amazing personality that you click with, that is also attractive. You say attraction fades with age and children, though I'm not sure I agree. Yes, we age, and with age attractiveness changes. But to say that with age and children everyone becomes morbidly obese is crazy. I am not talking about perfection here. But someone who is 300lbs? Are you honestly telling me this wouldn't matter to you? You would be turned on by a 300lb body? Why is it so very shocking that someone could be attracted to someone that weighs over 300 lbs? Just because it is not YOUR ideal of beauty, does not mean that it isn't attractive to someone else. I am SO very thankful that there are still people out in the world that actually base their opinions of people off of how they behave/treat people and not just based upon their weight. Rather than looking at wedding forums wondering how someone found these women to be attractive, maybe one should look closer at oneself and wonder what the flaw is within the person looking at the foums that they're still single..
New_Life08 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I think it is the fact that most men own a mirror.
tami-chan Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I think it is the fact that most men own a mirror. Hmmm..interesting...how big is this mirror and where is it located?
Lizzie60 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 My experience with fat people... When my last ex picked me up for our first date.. I thought.. OMG I never realized how big he was... I had never ever been attracted to big people... we went on our date.. it was nice.. he was a real gentleman.. smelling good.. he was drop-dead gorgeous (face)... he was tall 6'2 so he carried his weight pretty good.. although he had a huge belly. I fell head over heels in love with this guy to my surprise.. his weight didn't mean anything.. I didn't see it.. I was more concerned about his health than his weight.. he was a big eater.. he loved restaurants, junk food and sweets... He tried to lose weight.. but his schedule and his work prevented him in some way, to diet.. (he was a workholic, eating at all times, mostly junk food)... Since him... weight is not as big an issue as it used to be... I know I can love a person regardless of his weight.. before him.. I didn't even pay attention to overweight people.. I can't stand tall, skinny men... I prefer them a little chubby than skinny.
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Who cares? Some like blondes, some like Asians, some like heavyweights. Historically, it wasn't that long ago that larger size was considered the general standard of attraction. The general definition of beauty swings back and forth constantly. Look at the waifs on the runways nowadays - even with her curves, do you think Marilyn Monroe would've stood a chance with a modeling agency? What about Bettie Page? She was 128lbs - practically an elephant by today's model standards! The generally accepted definition of beauty changes so drastically (even from the Cindy Crawford's of the 80's to the Kate Moss' of today) that you really do just have to go with what turns your own crank and forget about the rest of the world.
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