Why Date Fat people?

[Green]

Why would any one want to date a fat person.

 

I would be interested to hear from people who started dating some one who was already fat.

 

My gf is in good shape and if she ever got fat I would still be attracted to her although it would upset me health wise. But if she had been fat when I met her I don't think I would of formed that initial attraction.

[disgracian]

Why do you think it matters so much that it would outweigh (pardon the pun) any other consideration?

 

Cheers,

D.

[threebyfate]

Green, that's just your personal preference for thinner women. Not everyone is attracted to the same body type.

 

Don't you think a heavier person has enough prejudice against them, that they don't need it constantly rubbed into their faces?

[You'reasian]

Looking beyond a person's physical side is a good thing. No one's perfect and we could use more of that. However, if someone is overweight and has traits that maker her/him difficult to be a good partner, then that trait becomes more of a liability in the big picture.

[Green]

Why do you think it matters so much that it would outweigh (pardon the pun) any other consideration?

 

Cheers,

D.

 

I just find it interesting, I have a friend who dates a girl who is well over 300 lbs and it really makes me wonder.

 

I would never say anything to him or even ask him about this because it is insulting, but I am just curiouse why people do it.

 

For me something like this wouldn't allow me to make the other considerations but maybe they just find it attractive to be fat which of course is posible.

 

For instance if a girl was bald I don't think I would be attracted, because I love pretty hair on a girl.

 

Of course if a girl I already had feelings for got fat or went bald it wouldn't change my feelings for them....

 

but my point is how do people feel initial attraction for very fat people. I would love to hear from people especialy if they themselves are not fat and they started dating a very fat person.

 

Green, that's just your personal preference for thinner women. Not everyone is attracted to the same body type.

 

Don't you think a heavier person has enough prejudice against them, that they don't need it constantly rubbed into their faces?

 

I don't mind a woman with a little meat on her body, but when a woman looks pregnant or just over 200lbs I do find it unatractive.

 

I want to find out what goes through the mind of some one who begins to date a very fat person.

 

Oh boy, here we go again....wheres the popcorn smilie??

 

I'm not doing this to anger any one but just to understand as it is something I had been thinking about and I see plenty of people who choose to begin relationship with fat people and I would never question them in real life.

 

Looking beyond a person's physical side is a good thing. No one's perfect and we could use more of that. However' date=' if someone is overweight and has traits that maker her/him difficult to be a good partner, then that trait becomes more of a liability in the big picture.[/quote']

 

so why do you think so many people enter relationships with very fat people.

[disgracian]

Why would any one want to date a fat person.

Let's turn this around a slightly different way.

 

Why do people date at all? Why do they seek male/female companionship? Answer that and tell me what body shape has to do with any of it. If you can think of more than one or two things, I would say that you have missed the point of it all by a wide margin.

 

Cheers,

D.

[You'reasian]

so why do you think so many people enter relationships with very fat people.

 

I've dated women who were overweight (up to 50lbs over ideal), but not obese.

 

I look at a woman's personality alot, since I'm going to be spending time and investing emotionally with her. Her being overweight isn't an issue if she's just an awesome partner - but if she brings that treat me like a queen bs and selfishness, then her weight becomes more of an issue.

[disgracian]

I just find it interesting, I have a friend who dates a girl who is well over 300 lbs and it really makes me wonder.

 

I would never say anything to him or even ask him about this because it is insulting, but I am just curiouse why people do it.

It's not the least bit insulting if you do it right. For the record "So, why are you dating a fat chick?" is not an example of doing it right. Just take size out of the equation altogether and pretend that she's just another human being, and ask him about her. Or, better still, talk to her yourself.

For me something like this wouldn't allow me to make the other considerations but maybe they just find it attractive to be fat which of course is posible.

Or maybe it isn't a factor either way and they're seeing people in a different (and deeper) way than you are.

For instance if a girl was bald I don't think I would be attracted, because I love pretty hair on a girl.

Ah, it's becoming clearer now. What element of pretty hair do you think is going to make somebody a better lifetime companion? What about loyalty or commitment or putting others first?

 

Cheers,

D.

[allina]

I have wondered this myself. While browsing some wedding forums I have seen brides that were 250lbs+, I can't help but wonder if their fiances really find them attractive and sexy. Seeing that has also made me think that there must be something amazing about those women to be that fat and still have a man want to marry them.

 

I don't want to offend anyone, but it's something that has crossed my mind.

[disgracian]

Her being overweight isn't an issue if she's just an awesome partner - but if she brings that treat me like a queen bs and selfishness' date=' then her weight becomes more of an issue.[/quote']

How is a repugnant attitude in any way connected to her weight? It sounds to me like you're treating her size as a negative score that you can possibly overlook only so long as everything else balances it out, but if she was an outright bitch then you'd part ways because of her weight and not attitude?

 

Or did I read it wrong?

 

Cheers,

D.

[Green]

Let's turn this around a slightly different way.

 

Why do people date at all? Why do they seek male/female companionship? Answer that and tell me what body shape has to do with any of it. If you can think of more than one or two things, I would say that you have missed the point of it all by a wide margin.

 

Cheers,

D.

 

I think its more complicated then that though. For instance gay men who are openly gay would not be attracted to a female and would not actively persue dating a girl.

 

My point is certain things are hardwired into the brain. I personaly would never ask out a 200lb plus woman...

 

I realize this thread is insulting even though I havn't meant it that way, I don't seem to be getting any answers.

 

Potential answers would be... I date a fat person because even though I know they are fat I can look beyond it... or I date a fat person because I think fat people look sexy.... or I date a fat person because I couldn't get any one else....ect

[Green]

I have wondered this myself. While browsing some wedding forums I have seen brides that were 250lbs+, I can't help but wonder if their fiances really find them attractive and sexy. Seeing that has also made me think that there must be something amazing about those women to be that fat and still have a man want to marry them.

 

I don't want to offend anyone, but it's something that has crossed my mind.

 

My friend is engaged to a 300lb+ woman and I would never say anything to either of them, the only person I talk about this with is my gf. But I wonder why is he doing it, I've seen people like this on TLC and every thing just hangs

[disgracian]

I have wondered this myself. While browsing some wedding forums I have seen brides that were 250lbs+, I can't help but wonder if their fiances really find them attractive and sexy.

That's because you're only looking at them. I'm actually having a bit of trouble understanding your (and the OP's) mindset. So here's my attempt to bridge the gap and see if we can understand each other.

 

It's a matter of horses-for-courses. If I'm looking at pictures of women then physical attractiveness assumes more importance because I'm just looking and, well, I don't really have anything else to go on. It depends what I'm trying to attain.

 

If I'm looking for somebody to spend the rest of my life with, I have to look at the bigger picture and take other qualities into account. If one takes a pragmatic approach, attractiveness scores fairly low. For starters, it will probably fade with time (and children). Also, spending so much time with somebody else requires compatible personalities more than anything else. Taking consolation that my wife is still pretty if I can't stand her personality is of little comfort in daily life.

 

To somebody of maturity and perspective, weight is really only a factor if it has health implications. If that sounds condescending or pompous, tough. It's also true.

 

Cheers,

D.

[allina]

If I'm looking for somebody to spend the rest of my life with, I have to look at the bigger picture and take other qualities into account. If one takes a pragmatic approach, attractiveness scores fairly low. For starters, it will probably fade with time (and children). Also, spending so much time with somebody else requires compatible personalities more than anything else. Taking consolation that my wife is still pretty if I can't stand her personality is of little comfort in daily life.

 

 

D.

 

I'm not saying that the physical is more important than the emotional/intellectual. However, when looking for someone to spend your life with there has to be physical and sexual attraction. I also dislike the idea often used in these weight threads that suggests a person can either be attractive physically or have a good personality. It's not that difficult to find someone with an amazing personality that you click with, that is also attractive.

 

You say attraction fades with age and children, though I'm not sure I agree. Yes, we age, and with age attractiveness changes. But to say that with age and children everyone becomes morbidly obese is crazy.

 

I am not talking about perfection here. But someone who is 300lbs? Are you honestly telling me this wouldn't matter to you? You would be turned on by a 300lb body?

[disgracian]

My point is certain things are hardwired into the brain. I personaly would never ask out a 200lb plus woman...

Absolute nonsense. If you look at history, you will see that "fat" people were considered more desirable than slim people. It is entirely subjective and there is nothing whatsoever hardwired into anyone's brain.

I realize this thread is insulting even though I havn't meant it that way, I don't seem to be getting any answers.

I've already told you how to get answers.

Potential answers would be... I date a fat person because even though I know they are fat I can look beyond it... or I date a fat person because I think fat people look sexy.... or I date a fat person because I couldn't get any one else....ect

You're never going to grasp it so long as you make such a big deal out of it. Just remove the word "fat" from your above ponderings and see how much sense you're making. Or replace it with something that you don't care about, like if they have freckles, or brown hair, or short hair, or green eyes instead of blue. Let's give it a try:

 

"I date a short person because I couldn't get any one else."

 

"I date a person with blue eyes because even though I know they have blue eyes I can look beyond it."

 

"I date a person called Janice person because I think people called Janice look sexy."

 

Cheers,

D.

[allina]

That's because you're only looking at them.

 

I would like to add something. Aside from very obese person not being visually pleasing TO ME, I wouldn't know what to even do with such an obese partner!

 

For example; my fiance and I enjoy hiking with friends, can a morbidly obese person go on even a 5 mile hike in the mountains? We like to go kayaking, an obese person can't even fit in a kayak! I also like to go running and snowboarding, sorry to say it but these are things a 300lb person just cannot do!

[disgracian]

I also dislike the idea often used in these weight threads that suggests a person can either be attractive physically or have a good personality. It's not that difficult to find someone with an amazing personality that you click with, that is also attractive.

Wasn't saying otherwise. What I was saying is that if you meet somebody that you really click with, then you'd be a cretin to let her go just because she was a bit on the heavy side.

You say attraction fades with age and children, though I'm not sure I agree. Yes, we age, and with age attractiveness changes. But to say that with age and children everyone becomes morbidly obese is crazy.

Good thing I didn't say anything of the sort.

I am not talking about perfection here. But someone who is 300lbs? Are you honestly telling me this wouldn't matter to you? You would be turned on by a 300lb body?

Can you tell me why it should matter to me?

 

Cheers,

D.

[disgracian]

For example; my fiance and I enjoy hiking with friends, can a morbidly obese person go on even a 5 mile hike in the mountains? We like to go kayaking, an obese person can't even fit in a kayak! I also like to go running and snowboarding, sorry to say it but these are things a 300lb person just cannot do!

That's a matter of compatible interests then.

 

FYI, yes, 300lb people can do all of those things (apart from maybe the kayaking). Watch The Biggest Loser, even halfway through the show when they're still quite overweight they would have more lung capacity and stamina than the average person.

 

Cheers,

D.

[Peitho]

Same reason some people date uneducated people, people with rotten attitude, poor people, rude people, people with issues, etc.

 

Different things are important to different people.

 

And thank God for that.

[allina]

Wasn't saying otherwise. What I was saying is that if you meet somebody that you really click with, then you'd be a cretin to let her go just because she was a bit on the heavy side.

 

 

Can you tell me why it should matter to me?

 

 

I am not talking about "a little on the heavy side" which to me is 10-15lbs above a healthy BMI range. I am saying that a relationship would not develop between me and an obese person because the sexual attraction would not be there, and sexual attraction is necessary is a romantic relationship.

 

I am not saying that any of this should matter to you, I am saying that it matters to me. If you are sexually attracted to large people that is fine by me.

[disgracian]

I am not saying that any of this should matter to you

Are you sure? You seemed quite incredulous when asking before.

If you are sexually attracted to large people that is fine by me.

You haven't read a single word I've said, have you?

 

Cheers,

D.

[Lovelybird]

Yesterday I watch a movie on HBO, of course I just watched a little. It talks about fat girl participate a beauty pagent, she says about personality beauty is more important than appearance. But she wears a top only half cover her breast, she has large breast, I mean Large, and then she wears a very short skirt barely cover her private part. just opposite to what she proclaimed. not pretty

 

Big people's lifestyle isn't healthy. Everyone who is big should work on losing weight

[hoping2heal]

Okay, as a person who is Fat, and no; not big boned I had to chime in here.

 

Green, not all fat people are alike. For example, I CAN kayak. Now, I'm not crane fat no but I seem to have more confidence about myself than the thin women I know. I mean for one, if I'm upset because I look fat in a pair of jeans? It's because I really AM fat I don't just make up crap to be upset about for no reason. Sure, I have my days where I am like "omg get the tow truck hank and put out the orange cones." However, with diet and excersize I feel better about that for one.

 

Also, I don't hate thin women. That's right, not ALL big women hate other females simply because they are SKINNY. I don't think skinny women are an evil race!

 

I've also noticed compared to my thinner friends, I seem to be the one more willing to do something spontaneous and crazy (okay I don't mean girls gone wild kind of spontaneous and crazy) while the other girls are like "omg people are watching what if I look bad".

 

What cracks me up as a bigger woman, is how many times I hear this one "Oh, I don't mind a woman being overweight but they all have such bad atitudes and no confidence. They are always down on themselves." Sweetie, that is HARDLY a trait of JUST overweight women. That one cracks me up about as much as the whole "no, it isn't her looks it's her health that it bothers me!" Come on, you can admit you prefer a woman who is in shape because of how she looks; I don't get upset about it (Wow, so many heads must be spinning. I think I am breaking so many pre-concieved notions it will be overwhelming).

 

Women of every size can be both fun and exciting, beautiful inside or ugly inside, there's a variety and fat people again are not one size fits all (um, no pun intended). We are just as diverse and unique as other people and there are some of us that are royal pains in the behind and some of us that you will have the time of your lives with. We are people and not some foreign species of alien leppers.

 

Maybe your friend just has a great time with a woman who is spontaneous and fun to be around and loves and adores him and makes him feel good about himself and blissful?

[bwidger]

This is the strangest question for me to answer as I feel a bit bad for those with overweight problems because I'm not really sure if it's a lifestyle or a metabolic circumstance or a combination or what...

 

Anyhow, I get that personality is important, as I would agree, but I don't think I'd date an extremely overweight woman unless I was in the same boat as her physically.

[burning 4 revenge]

I would like to add something. Aside from very obese person not being visually pleasing TO ME, I wouldn't know what to even do with such an obese partner!

 

For example; my fiance and I enjoy hiking with friends, can a morbidly obese person go on even a 5 mile hike in the mountains? We like to go kayaking, an obese person can't even fit in a kayak! I also like to go running and snowboarding, sorry to say it but these are things a 300lb person just cannot do!

I just like cooking and eating and I still dont want to date a fat person