Goodin Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Hi - I haven't posted on this site in a while but I have been reading the posts in the dating section recently. I thought I would post my own thread;) I thought I would get some opinions on this. I went out on a 'first date' with a girl night before last and we had a great time and she seemed really into me. (I have been aquainted with this girl for a few years now. We hung out some before and I helped her move last may.) She had to work on New Years but I told her to call if she wants to meet up when she gets done working, and she said ok, but she was not sure how late she will be working. I didn't hear from her. After midnight I ran into her at a bar dancing with her girlfriends. She didn't see me and I was ready to call it a night anyway so I left without talking to her. Moreover, I figured she didn't want to hang out with me anyway since she didn't call so just as well I didn't go talk to her. So I texted her around noon today to wish her a happy New Year and to see if she had plans for the day. I didn't have plans today and I thought we could go catch a matinee. 10 hours later I haven't got a reply back. All she would have to do is reply back and say "sorry, I have plans" if she didn't want to meet....no big deal. I know there might be real explanations why she hasn't texted back but I feel like I am getting the blow off here. Thoughts? This is the second 'blow off' type situation I have had recently and I am really getting fed up with it. If a girl doesn't want to hang out that's fine just be honest and tell me instead of disappearing or leading me on! After 9 months of being completely single (cold turkey..no dates, no casual hook ups) I am getting back into the dating scene. I am proud to say that I got over my last girlfriend WITHOUT a rebound:). I digress;). Anway, I've got my bearings down and ready to date again. I'm a bit rusty because its been several years since I've had to 'date'...so any tips you ladies can give me I would appreciate it!
alphamale Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I know there might be real explanations why she hasn't texted back but I feel like I am getting the blow off here. Thoughts? yes you are getting "blown off"...you are a friend to this girl and that is it After 9 months of being completely single (cold turkey..no dates, no casual hook ups) I am getting back into the dating scene. i'm glad to hear it, good luck
bwidger Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Hi - I haven't posted on this site in a while but I have been reading the posts in the dating section recently. I thought I would post my own thread;) I thought I would get some opinions on this. I went out on a 'first date' with a girl night before last and we had a great time and she seemed really into me. (I have been aquainted with this girl for a few years now. We hung out some before and I helped her move last may.) She had to work on New Years but I told her to call if she wants to meet up when she gets done working, and she said ok, but she was not sure how late she will be working. I didn't hear from her. After midnight I ran into her at a bar dancing with her girlfriends. She didn't see me and I was ready to call it a night anyway so I left without talking to her. Moreover, I figured she didn't want to hang out with me anyway since she didn't call so just as well I didn't go talk to her. So I texted her around noon today to wish her a happy New Year and to see if she had plans for the day. I didn't have plans today and I thought we could go catch a matinee. 10 hours later I haven't got a reply back. All she would have to do is reply back and say "sorry, I have plans" if she didn't want to meet....no big deal. I know there might be real explanations why she hasn't texted back but I feel like I am getting the blow off here. Thoughts? This is the second 'blow off' type situation I have had recently and I am really getting fed up with it. If a girl doesn't want to hang out that's fine just be honest and tell me instead of disappearing or leading me on! After 9 months of being completely single (cold turkey..no dates, no casual hook ups) I am getting back into the dating scene. I am proud to say that I got over my last girlfriend WITHOUT a rebound:). I digress;). Anway, I've got my bearings down and ready to date again. I'm a bit rusty because its been several years since I've had to 'date'...so any tips you ladies can give me I would appreciate it! Welcome my friend... welcome to dating ocne again... Yes, you are getting blown off. Next girl please?
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 This is the second 'blow off' type situation I have had recently and I am really getting fed up with it. If a girl doesn't want to hang out that's fine just be honest and tell me instead of disappearing or leading me on! I think you have to change your line of thinking about dating. If a girl doesn't show sufficient interest, don't wait around, don't contemplate whether you should send a second or third text...Simply move on to the next. Just keep trying girls on until one fits. In dating, you will get blown off- it happens to everyone. You just have to learn not to take it personally.
alphamale Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 In dating, you will get blown off- it happens to everyone. You just have to learn not to take it personally. indeed, if you ask 10 girls out 8 or 9 of them will blow you off. that is just the way it is. the more you're getting blown off the better, it means you are asking girls out. even i get turned down most of the time. every guys gets blown off or turned down most of the time. its all a numbers game. the more chicks you ask out the more success you'll have cause you know that out of 10 chicks at least 1 will say "yes".
bwidger Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 indeed, if you ask 10 girls out 8 or 9 of them will blow you off. that is just the way it is. the more you're getting blown off the better, it means you are asking girls out. even i get turned down most of the time. every guys gets blown off or turned down most of the time. its all a numbers game. the more chicks you ask out the more success you'll have cause you know that out of 10 chicks at least 1 will say "yes". Yeah, I don't consider myself bad looking or with a bad personality or anything and I ALWAYS get blown off. I agree with alpha, it's a total numbers game. Better to expect it.
boogieboy Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 They wil;l NEVER tell you they arent interested. People are cowards, they dont want to deal with that awkwardness, its just easier to ignore you. Be prepared for them to never call back, and you wont be dissappointed when they dont.
bwidger Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 They wil;l NEVER tell you they arent interested. People are cowards, they dont want to deal with that awkwardness, its just easier to ignore you. Be prepared for them to never call back, and you wont be dissappointed when they dont. agreed. what else can you do, ya know?
sagetalk Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 She had to work on New Years but I told her to call if she wants to meet up when she gets done working, and she said ok, but she was not sure how late she will be working. I didn't hear from her. After midnight I ran into her at a bar dancing with her girlfriends. Read that again slowly. Does that sound like a girl that's really into you? Maybe I'm wrong, at any rate, make yourself unavailable and see what happens.
Author Goodin Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 I think you have to change your line of thinking about dating. If a girl doesn't show sufficient interest, don't wait around, don't contemplate whether you should send a second or third text...Simply move on to the next. Just keep trying girls on until one fits. In dating, you will get blown off- it happens to everyone. You just have to learn not to take it personally. Hi D-Lish...Your suggestions are spot on. but i think I have all those issues under control...As far as taking it personally, I do not. And oh yes I have decided not to contact her again. My issue is with honesty...not even brutal honest such as "i dont like you and dont want to go out with you again"...but just something simple like 'im busy today'. or something. And why show interest when you genuinely are not? wtf? She might not realize it but it does nothing more than makes me loose respect for her. It's alright though... I wasn;t that crazy about her. The last one I was definitely into but she lives a few hours away, so I understand the blow off there...I wasnt sure i could do a LDR anyway. She actually has called just to talk recently...and she communicated and was nice about it...so I have respect for her. Ive had a woman for so long before this...I forgot what a pain in the arse dating is. I don't have any more prospects right now... and Im doing it the old fashioned way;) (no online dating). I'm watching Leaving Las Vegas right now. What a great movie! I wish it could be that easy. (minus the alcoholism, and co-dependency of course).
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 That's good! I think if you can master the rejection component that comes with dating, you are free to be more sucessful than most!!
boogieboy Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 ...but just something simple like 'im busy today'. or something. And why show interest when you genuinely are not? wtf? Youre going to run into this alot while youre dating. Be prepared to see more of it while youre actually on the date. Something simple you want? How bout "I'm not sure how late Ill be working". THAT is a blowoff. Heres my motto, anything that isnt a yes, is a no. Plus 6you shouldnt have asked her out on new years anyway. She may not have showed real interest, you just didnt see it. She may gone out with you for a number of reasons. 1.) She was blown off by a guy she really wanted to go out with 2.) shes on the rebound and needs an ego boost. 3.) She may have been giving you a shot even though you arent her type I mean, did she show real curiosity in you as a person and your life? You could have done or said anything to turn her off during the date, or afterward. It happens. She wasnt that into you, but youre not sweatin it, so onto the next.
Author Goodin Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 Something simple you want? How bout "I'm not sure how late Ill be working". THAT is a blowoff. Heres my motto, anything that isnt a yes, is a no. Plus 6you shouldnt have asked her out on new years anyway. I mean, did she show real curiosity in you as a person and your life? Ya know I didnt realize it at the time but "Im not sure how late Ill be working" definitely was a blow off. And your motto is very wise! Gonna remeber that for sure! She did show curiosity but I dont know how real it was.
islandmyth Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Wow! No doubt you are blown off. It really feels bad when some girls do this to us especially not knowing what is the reason behind. Better not run bro.
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