sxyNYCcpl Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Because in this case, marriage becomes something like the friend-zone with very little interest in sex. At least it was my experience with marriages. Actually, it really seems the opposite, most swingers who I know, and our own personal experience, is that our sex life was great before starting swinging. It's just another thing to add to the list of things to do. From what I might guess, on the one hand, a husband does want to have sex with other females, and the swinging gives him the opportunity to do that. On the other hand, the husband wants to feel sexual attraction to his wife again and the swinging gives him the opportunity, because when he see his wife having sex with other men, he gets jealous and competative. I think you're envisioning this as being too centered on the male. Here, you're describing a man who wants to bed other women and is no longer attracted to his spouse using swinging to fix that with the (begrudging?) cooperation of his wife. That's not how it works. It's something we do as a team for our (and our friends) mutual enjoyment. I am curious about the children of a such couple. Do children know that their parents are swingers? Do the parents encourage their children into swinging? Do the children accept the parents in sense of the swinging? I think most people keep it to themselves, though children are smart and often are aware of many things parents think (or at least would prefer) they didn't. That said, at my age, neither us nor most of our friends have adult children so I don't know if full disclosure might come at some point after all.
deux ex machina Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 hahaha we just had dinner and shared some kisses. shes quite normal, intelligent and well-traveled. she said i dress nice and smell good. besides that it was a fairly normal date, we may see each other sat nite if things work out. i played things cool as a cucumber, like usual Did you get to see her?
CarrieT Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 So, Alpha -- you are posting here this morning... Where's the report about last night's date???? ;)
amymarieca Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I don't know. Can't really base your facts on one person, but the only swinger I know is way over 200lbs and is heading for divorce. Anyways..... The definition of a swinger is a person who engages freely in promiscuous sex, and any person, male or female, who enjoys experimentation of sexual acts outside the bonds of marriage. Yep, that sounds awesome. You say you can't really base your facts on one person...but then you went ahead and did it anyway. I, like sxyNYcpl, have been in many group situations and have been to swingers clubs. Obviously, you have not. I would say the times I have gone, 80-90% of the people there were attractive. Swinging is not for people who are whacked out or trying to save their marriage. It is for people who are secure enough in themselves and with their sexuality to live out their fantasies. So while everyone else dreams of having a threesome, I actually act upon it.
Author alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 Did you get to see her? Where's the report about last night's date???? ;) we didn't get together sat nite, maybe next weekend. shes the kind of chick that you have to handle with kid gloves. if she gets any sense of desperation or possessiveness on my part she will be long gone. i'll give her a call later in the week to see whats up.
Brady_to_Moss Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 (edited) we didn't get together sat nite, maybe next weekend. shes the kind of chick that you have to handle with kid gloves. if she gets any sense of desperation or possessiveness on my part she will be long gone. i'll give her a call later in the week to see whats up. I never got this....what if you like this girl? She doesnt like the fact that someone may just like her and find her amazing? So shes the type that like it when you ignore her? Edited January 10, 2010 by Brady_to_Moss
Author alphamale Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 So shes the type that like it when you ignore her? basically yes, she's got many other men seeking her affection along with her breasts which are quite large, 40D i'd guess
Brady_to_Moss Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 basically yes, she's got many other men seeking her affection along with her breasts which are quite large, 40D i'd guess Women amaze me....who would have thought someone would love being ignored
CarrieT Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Women amaze me....who would have thought someone would love being ignored I'm a woman with really large breasts (40DD) and have played in the swinger arena on and off for 25 years. (Only once while in a relationship -- when married -- and that was because my husband wanted bi-sexual dalliances). It is those guys who want more than to just have sex that are intriguing. The ones who chase are obvious about their interests and the ones that are aloof are more enticing. Weird, huh?
jw90063 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 You say you can't really base your facts on one person...but then you went ahead and did it anyway. I, like sxyNYcpl, have been in many group situations and have been to swingers clubs. Obviously, you have not. I would say the times I have gone, 80-90% of the people there were attractive. Swinging is not for people who are whacked out or trying to save their marriage. It is for people who are secure enough in themselves and with their sexuality to live out their fantasies. So while everyone else dreams of having a threesome, I actually act upon it. I was referring to most being overweight and heading for divorce. The girl I know just happens to be 200+ pounds and heading for divorce. I'm saying I can't base it just on what she does. What I DO think, is they are whacked out, as you say, but that's just me. They may be secure with their sexuality, but I don't see how such behavior signifies for being secure with one's self. What's even worse is when they have kids, and do this.
Author alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 ...and the ones that are aloof are more enticing. Weird, huh? yes thats what i meant
Awesome Username Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Contrary to popular belief, hot women do not like it at all when you hound them or call them all of the time. You just because another one of the guys that is trying to get into your pants.
CLC2008 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 This really has the makings of one big fat hot mess!
dazzle22 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 This really has the makings of one big fat hot mess! Oh, aint it the truth! Burning question... anyone willing to wager odds? Will the Alpha male be taken down by the big breasted cougar? Question for SEXYNYC- since you get so much variety, are you totally bored when it is just you and your wife at home by yourselves.?
Author alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 Will the Alpha male be taken down by the big breasted cougar? shes not a cougar, shes my age or a bit younger
CLC2008 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Oh, aint it the truth! Burning question... anyone willing to wager odds? Will the Alpha male be taken down by the big breasted cougar? Teehee!
amymarieca Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I was referring to most being overweight and heading for divorce. The girl I know just happens to be 200+ pounds and heading for divorce. I'm saying I can't base it just on what she does. What I DO think, is they are whacked out, as you say, but that's just me. They may be secure with their sexuality, but I don't see how such behavior signifies for being secure with one's self. What's even worse is when they have kids, and do this. Just because people have preferences with sexuality that differ from yours does not give you the right to call them "whacked out". I take offence to that comment as I am a swinger, and happen to be a very well-rounded person. Don't judge something that you have absolutely no experience in.
sxyNYCcpl Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 What's even worse is when they have kids, and do this. I am not even going to address your judgmental rant other than to observe that you are commenting in things about which you have no knowledge or experience as if you did. That said, this ditty I am curious about. People are supposed to put their sex lives on hold just because they have kids???
jw90063 Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Just because people have preferences with sexuality that differ from yours does not give you the right to call them "whacked out". I take offence to that comment as I am a swinger, and happen to be a very well-rounded person. Don't judge something that you have absolutely no experience in. I am not even going to address your judgmental rant other than to observe that you are commenting in things about which you have no knowledge or experience as if you did. That said, this ditty I am curious about. People are supposed to put their sex lives on hold just because they have kids??? You both have done a excellent job illustrating that swingers are secure with themselves and their sexuality. While you may be offended that I disapprove, I honestly find your lifestyle very offensive, so we are even. You should understand, that sleeping with "other" people while in a relationship is a major no for lots of people. By the way, I don't care to experience the swinging lifestyle, but I do have enough general knowledge of what it is. It's not of interest to me. There's really no reason for debate here, so I'm not going to argue over it. It's your lifestyle, and there is absolutely no way to reason with you. I honestly think it would be best for OP not to pursue a relationship with this girl though.
bac Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 What is the major turn on in swinging for a man or a woman? For example, I am a woman and I would like to try it. What kind of things can I expect will turn me on and make me enjoy it? How do I avoid jealousy if my partner does other women?
CarrieT Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 What is the major turn on in swinging for a man or a woman? For example, I am a woman and I would like to try it. What kind of things can I expect will turn me on and make me enjoy it? How do I avoid jealousy if my partner does other women? You should probably start your own thread with all those questions. This one is all about Alpha.
torranceshipman Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Dude, personally, that would be a MAJOR turnoff if a girl told me she was a swinger (unless she was kidding about it)... Swinger = whore in my mind = low value = problems = diseases Hehe! I have to agree with this (sorry any swingers out there).
pyroguy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Just because people have preferences with sexuality that differ from yours does not give you the right to call them "whacked out". I take offence to that comment as I am a swinger, and happen to be a very well-rounded person. Don't judge something that you have absolutely no experience in. As a woman, what do get most out of this? why do you love it so much? be honest?
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Quote: Originally Posted by bac What kind of drama can happen there in the clubs? Do the swingers necessarily do only group sex or one on one action or both? Are they necessarily attached/married people? It seems to me that people who will go to an "off-prem" swingers party, but who refuse to go to an "on-prem" one (that, by definition, includes sexual activity during the party) are not real swingers. A guy who likes seeing his girl make out with another girl, or a couple who wants to watch others aren't real swingers. If you get offended by watching someone hit on your SO (especially if the offence is compounded based on success) is not a real swinger and has no business hanging out at a swing event. Quote: Originally Posted by donnamaybe 1. the swingers openly admit multiple sexual partners True. One cannot be a swinger if one doesn't have multiple partners over a course of time. This does not mean swingers are not selective, for the most part they are, but unless you have sexual activity outside of your primary relationship, you're not a swinger. Quote: Originally Posted by donnamaybe 2. the swingers do not hide the fact that they are attached You are correct, your average swinger does not hide their status. From time to time, a person comes along (male or female) who is really a cheater, not a swinger, but they are generally not accepted. Quote: Originally Posted by donnamaybe 3. the swingers want their partners to have sex with other people. Typically, yes Quote: Originally Posted by donnamaybe I am curious if they present during sex of their partners with other people. Typically, thought not always, yes. Quote: Originally Posted by donnamaybe 4. the swingers do group sex. Yes. SOME swingers are only interest in swapping partners (2 on 2, trade and return) but most real swingers are very much into group sex. A swinger who claims not to be is suspect. Just clarifying that these quotes were not originally by me, but by bac.
donnamaybe Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Hehe! I have to agree with this (sorry any swingers out there). Sorry, but I also agree. I also feel that anyone who doesn't mind knowing their "loved one" is having sex with someone else doesn't have that strong a bond with them. Just my opinion.
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