DenverBachelor Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 It is a new decade, and as happy as I was at the beginning of the day, once the new decade arrived, I realized that it was indeed a new decade and the old one was now a separate chapter in the great book of life. Anyhow, this is what I've learned after deep introspection: 1) People make mistakes on both sides of the table. Nobody is ever the angel or devil. We're only human and we make errors in judgement and we make the wrong decisions. It's the only "human" thing we can do -- because even if we have a foot in the past and a foot in the future, sometimes the present seems extremely volatile. We make decisions based on things we learned from the past while also dealing with the anticipation of the future. We're only human, and we'll make some grandiose decisions that lead to avenues of the future that are completely foreign to us. In a nutshell, we'll f' up big time. 2) Years (in my case, seven) of friendship can be wiped out in just a month. You could be accused of things you never did. In my case, trying to break into her apartment or ever trying to gain access to it. Making copies of keys. Paranoia on her behalf would lead to wrong accusations against me. I would be painted black by her and her family would then accept these accusation and paint me black as well. However, as Sean1970 said, you can never discount what you did for her. You can only be the man you are and accept the accusations since you cannot change them. History will be your vindicator, and honesty will be your absolution. One of the best quotes I have heard on here is this: Reputation is what men and women believe of you -- Character is what God and Angels know of you. You will find in life situations where you are wrongly accused and accusations serve too easily as proof for many people. Blood is thicker than water. But real integrity is thicker than anything -- and in the end, what you were and who you were to them will speak volumes in the annals of time. 3) Every beginning has an end. No matter how much we would love for our rock to remain in our lives, every beginning will bring an end at some point. We hope and pray that the end comes far after the beginning. We try to live the best lives we can for ourselves and for others, but sometimes things happen outside our control. Perceptions get warped and we become the villain when we were just the hero. Again, it is only their perceptions. 4) There are perceptions, personal truths and absolute truths. Her family's perception of me is tarnished. Her perception of me is destroyed. Too many personal truth's have been established and reinforced. But greater than those are the absolute truths. We know in our hearts when we are put against the wall that we were "good" and "true" to them. Perhaps they cheated -- perhaps we confronted them about it and they turned vengeful towards us for doing so. In the end, the only thing that matters is the absolute truth. 5) How we lived and how we treated them is more important then the end result We stretch out our hands and our hearts and give unconditional love and all too often the end result is that we have our hearts betrayed and crushed. But how we lived, and how we loved will always be a testament to our character, of which, God and Angels know. We can only reach out and trust unconditionally in true love. We'll open ourselves up and have our hearts trampled. We cannot predict the future, nor can we change the tides that push out in so many random directions. What we do have is that character and that love and it never dies. We'll have to reconcile in our own hearts the loss and the pain -- but it makes us stronger as people. 6) What was shared never dies No matter what happens, from this moment forward, what you shared with someone you love is always etched in time. And no matter how bad the break up, no matter how hard the realization from their lies or cheating -- there will always be islands in time from the past with them that we can integrate into our collective and smile and press forward. Nobody wants loss and loss will always entail pain -- but when the pain subsides and the loss is far behind us, we'll realize that what we shared and what we had was a testament to something far larger than us -- we'll realize that by loving and sharing love with another person, we scraped the heavens and felt God's tears. Happy New Year.
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