shadowplay Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 ...are the sexiest thing ever! And I don't mean men who dismiss pretty girls out of bitterness from past rejections, or ones who would prioritize looks if they could. I mean men who genuinely care most about what a woman is like on the inside. I have the utmost respect for guys like this. I usually lose immediate respect for a man who puts a heavy emphasis on appearance, even if he values other qualities as well. I think the easiest way to tell which category a guy falls into is to look at his past girlfriends. If they're all very, very attractive, then he's probably superficial because it's nearly impossible to land multiple women who are both gorgeous and have all the other qualities down. How do other women feel?
alphamale Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 ...I think the easiest way to tell which category a guy falls into is to look at his past girlfriends. If they're all very, very attractive, then he's probably superficial because it's nearly impossible to land multiple women who are both gorgeous and have all the other qualities down. then i must be "superficial" by your standards
Author shadowplay Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 then i must be "superficial" by your standards That wouldn't surprise me!
Yamaha Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Might I ask what your internals for a man would be? Would you go for a short, bald, fat man with a good personality over whatever your ideal man man would look like?
JohnP82 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Yeah, would you be with a guy who was perfect on the inside but looked like the elephant man?
johan Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 How do other women feel? Gee, wonder what they will say.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I don't know. I find it slightly unlikely and unrealistic to find a man who doesn't care about looks, or a woman in fact. I have to find my partner physically attractive, or I won't go there. Simple as. Even if they have everything else I'm looking for, they don't tick that box. That's not to say I can't appreciate someone's inner beauty, I can. But let's cut the crap...we are all visual creatures, and while some do not prioritise looks in terms of what they seek in a partner, most certainly rank it in importance. The wonderful thing is...everyone finds different things attractive. It's weird. You can see someone calling someone I may not deem attractive, gorgeous and they probably aren't lying. They find them attractive, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I also think sometimes you get those people who are average looking, but have lovely personalities and suddenly they are more than average. And vice versa, you get 'stunners' who are so conceited they become ugly. I knew a girl like that once, she could be gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous, but she'd scrunch her face up at anyone who was in her eyes below her, and look goddamn wretched. Hm.
Bejita463 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 ...are the sexiest thing ever! I. Totally. Agree. ...I don't think we are thinking about the same things. Nevermind! Move along, there's nothing to see here.
carhill Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Shadow, the pivotal factor is what criteria you use to accept the approach of a man who wishes to date you. IMO, unless your style is to only consider dating men whom you already know well, it's nearly impossible to accurately determine a person's 'depth', let alone compatibility wrt personality at the moment's glance when you decide whether he's dating material or a friend-only. I'll make you a deal though. I've got my dating profile up without a picture. I'll let my personality and interest in 'internals' speak for itself and will report back as to the results with ~50's women. You know what my stbx looks like and my past girlfriends have been roughly similar, though variable in appearance particulars. As I often opine, life experience has taught me that what women say they want, like a man who values internals over appearance, is generally very different than what they're attracted to. If the man is otherwise attractive to them, him valuing their 'inner self' is merely an additional positive. I'll let you know how it goes
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Keep in mind though that lots of men who have not so gorgeous ex gfs, don't have them because they were not able to get the gorgeous ones. Even really good looking guys will have trouble landing a gorgeous babe if they are not outgoing, confident and experienced. Then they likely spin the story in their favour (i.e. I only care about the personality)
Author shadowplay Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Might I ask what your internals for a man would be? Would you go for a short, bald, fat man with a good personality over whatever your ideal man man would look like? I never said he has to have no standards.
dnm Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Keep in mind though that lots of men who have not so gorgeous ex gfs, don't have them because they were not able to get the gorgeous ones. Even really good looking guys will have trouble landing a gorgeous babe if they are not outgoing, confident and experienced. Then they likely spin the story in their favour (i.e. I only care about the personality) this is quite true. Everybody cares about looks to an extent.
threebyfate Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I mean men who genuinely care most about what a woman is like on the inside. I have the utmost respect for guys like this.Yup, totally agree. I usually lose immediate respect for a man who puts a heavy emphasis on appearance, even if he values other qualities as well. When someone overloads on the superficial, he's more likely to cheat. I think the easiest way to tell which category a guy falls into is to look at his past girlfriends. If they're all very, very attractive, then he's probably superficial because it's nearly impossible to land multiple women who are both gorgeous and have all the other qualities down.This is the only one I partially disagree with. It depends on how many exes he's had. If you get the feeling a man's superficial, believe it. It's easy to confirm, after you break up. You get to see what he targets, if he's still in your life, in some way.
ordinary_girl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I think the easiest way to tell which category a guy falls into is to look at his past girlfriends. If they're all very, very attractive, then he's probably superficial because it's nearly impossible to land multiple women who are both gorgeous and have all the other qualities down. How do other women feel? Nah. I tend to date confident men and they usually have good looking girls. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever.
Author shadowplay Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 this is quite true. Everybody cares about looks to an extent. To some extent, yes. But it's all a matter of degree. There are men out there who don't care that much. How do you explain the male celebrities who could have their pick of gorgeous woman but decide to marry somebody who is less than beautiful, sometimes even downright plain?
threebyfate Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 shadow, this ties into what you value about yourself, as positive traits. If he's not seeing you as a whole and valuing many of these positive traits, especially the ones you consider most important, you might as well be Tom, Dick or Henrietta. That's one of the reasons why I steer clear of numbers men. It's insulting when they're indiscriminate, in their choices, especially when their overwhelmingly top priority is in looks.
alphamale Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 That's one of the reasons why I steer clear of numbers men. It's insulting when they're indiscriminate, in their choices, especially when their overwhelmingly top priority is in looks. I think you have a nice voice TBF
light2 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I think no matter what, people have to be attracted to each other for it to work out. Once there is a slight attraction in my case, then their personality and "inside" will play a part. Like a 5/10 girl, would automatically get bumped to 7/10 if she is intelligent and a great person. Not saying that girls/guys should be ranked but you get my point.
Jaytb Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 "men who care mostly about internals..." speaking of which, you have such a sexy liver
ordinary_girl Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 That's one of the reasons why I steer clear of numbers men. It's insulting when they're indiscriminate, in their choices, especially when their overwhelmingly top priority is in looks. This is very true. It isnt that hard to avoid shallow men. To start with you need to avoid being the sort of woman they are attracted to. Otherwise knowing who you are and what you want AND communicating that should get you results too
threebyfate Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 This is very true. It isnt that hard to avoid shallow men. To start with you need to avoid being the sort of woman they are attracted to. Otherwise knowing who you are and what you want AND communicating that should get you results tooI don't think you can avoid being the type of woman they're attracted to, especially if you care about personal grooming, but yes, if you maintain your boundaries and filter out superficial men, you'll be fine!
Pizzaman81 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I put the SUPER in superficial baby! But they will never know that, unless I meet you in real life, then you will know who I am C'mon looks are important though. Of course I'd put personality over looks! But I put looks a close 2nd priority.
Woggle Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I am one of those guys. A good personality can do wonders for a woman's appeal. I tend not to have the same taste in women as most men though. There are some female sex symbols that I truly do not understand the appeal of.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 "men who care mostly about internals..." speaking of which, you have such a sexy liver I absolutely hate the word internals. It makes me immediately think of itnernal organs. I get what the OP means by it, but there are better words to use IMHO.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 There are men out there who don't care that much. How do you explain the male celebrities who could have their pick of gorgeous woman but decide to marry somebody who is less than beautiful, sometimes even downright plain? This is EXTREMLY rare. I know of a few celebrities who married plain girls before they became famous and stayed with them. This is quite different as they fell in love, built history, family etc. It is still admirable though. I don't know of any that chose to marry a plain girl while they were famous. Also, some men wll have non-main stream attractions. Say a foot fetishist will love a plain girl with pretty feet over a gorgeous one with ugly feet. But this will not be obvious to others. My point is, "physical" compenet is HUGE in any relationship. Do you really think shadow, that your bf would be with a girl with a carbon copy of your uhm "internals" in an obese body? I think not.
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