xx.Kael.xx Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Hey, so I'm just wondering what everyone else feels, physically at the heat of a break up. Also, after the breakup. For you, how does it feel physically & mentally? Pain? For me, it just feels like I'll never walk again, or having to breathe through a straw. It bites.
IronWinged Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 You know the feeling of a tooth after the dentist drills on it? Or drinking too much of a Slurpee and it goes to your head? After my first break-up, 3 months ago, I have that sharp, but dull pain in my chest, right between the lungs. It physically hurts, and I can envision a hole there. Its a slow, steady, deep burn.
DenverBachelor Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Hey, so I'm just wondering what everyone else feels, physically at the heat of a break up. Also, after the breakup. For you, how does it feel physically & mentally? Pain? For me, it just feels like I'll never walk again, or having to breathe through a straw. It bites. I would have rather been shot by a high powered rifle in some non-fatal part of the body then go through that pain. I'm not kidding. That's the best way I could summarize that type of pain. Pick any bone and break it.
little_bear Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I feel like I can't breathe and I get this hot achy feeling in my chest and my arms. I also get really antsy like my body is trying to go somewhere and I can't control it and can't think. Worst feeling in the world!!!!!!!
HLP234 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Its a slow pain that comes back no matter how much you subdue it. Comes back stronger each time too. I've been broken up with, but I haven't broken up with anyone. I'm guessing the person breaking up with you feels bad too but not as much pain as you feel when you are dumped. It sucks real bad and it seems like it does not want to go away no matter how busy you try and keep your mind.
Vampire Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For me? A pain that I cannot isolate to any one part of the body. Sometimes it hurts to breath and sometimes I feel as if I am about to forget how to breath. Uncomfortably numb.
Artist Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I feel a deep burn where my heart is, have a hard time breathing, people comment on me sighing heavily all the time, feel numb....at times I just feel overwealmed with grief and have to cry which is a whole body experience, but I think the worse part is the psychological part in which I feel there will never be anyone like her..that I will certainly have to settle for someone less in someway..which I think is just part of the grieving process.
Howitzer Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 My chest feels tight, and my heart is racing. Honestly, the pain my body feels pales in comparison to the scarring in my soul.
D-Lish Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For me it was a year long anxiety attack. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep- became emaciated. I think that's why years later I don't let people in very often.
Vampire Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For me it was a year long anxiety attack. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep- became emaciated. I think that's why years later I don't let people in very often. Reading from the same page sister. As much as I'm ashamed to admit, I lost 4 stone within 4 months. I stopped weighing myself back in October as I daren't look at how bad it's got.
Eisenhower Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For me it's total anxiety - right in my stomach. Feels like nervous anxiety right in the pit of my stomach. Not fun.
HLP234 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I think I have also lost weight, which isn't good because I was already slim as it is. The anxiety is definitely there too, its like a roller coaster. Also includes loss of appetite, dreams that wake you up randomly feeling like crap. All I know is its not healthy at all and one day hope it just vanishes.
blackbear_703 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 When she told me she was breaking up with me, it was like a punch in the gut at first. I spent Day two in denial and trying to work things out, but failed. The day after that is when I really felt the physical effects of the break-up. I just felt dead tired, had a nervous stomach, had to force myself to get out of bed and eat, had to pry myself away from the computer and cell phone. Oh yeah, can't forget the dreams, which still persist now. I'm way past that point now, but I'm still hurting over it. Maybe not as bad as month ago, but still...
adamt Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 for me i couldnt eat or sleep for a few weeks. 3 hours sleep a night. i lost weight.head working over time. i would wake up and for a second or two i will have forgotten we had split up then it felt like someone was inflating my stomach and chest so emuch that it began to hurt and i felt a bit sickly. sometimes i could feel my head starting to fill up with emotion as if someone was pooring water into my head then i would break down once it reached my eyes. i would shake sometimes. i never felt tired. my brain was always spinning. i joined gym to try to tire me out. going ont he treqadmill,cross trainer felt the only time the pain went away. the only good thing to come out of it all was i lost weight, started to get fitter and tone up. i lost 22lbs(i'm 5ft11 and now 161lbs and gained muscle. people notice the difference and say i look well. 8 months on i am physically better and eat better. i still have occassional bad days though.
lostboyuk Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 It's simple for me, I'm feeling all of the above but the deepest pain is that a piece of me has been taken away, I am not me right now. When you are so closely in love you really do become one. How do you cope when you are not who you were any more?
blackbear_703 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 It's simple for me, I'm feeling all of the above but the deepest pain is that a piece of me has been taken away, I am not me right now. When you are so closely in love you really do become one. How do you cope when you are not who you were any more? For me it's been rediscovering who I was before the relationship. I've been re-igniting old hobbies and interests and discovering new ones. Or at least trying anyway. With the winter season underway and a busy schedule it's been difficult to make room for hobbies, but I've still been able to make room for movies, music, and reading. It is difficult to move on lifewise, esp. when you invested so much of your dreams and happiness in that other person. That's been the hard part. If you do have a passion for some goal or something like the arts, sports, etc. you can invest your time in that and it can certainly speed up the recovery process. Ultimately, it can help you discover new dreams and make new life plans that don't involve her.
Crusoe Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Physically, the worst pain I have known. Have broken bones, torn muscles, snapped ligaments, slipped discs, had teeth pulled without anaesthesia, all childs play in comparison. Mentally I was screwed. Felt like I had a rubber band in my head that was getting tighter and tighter. Couldn't make sense of anything. Every week learning of a new affair and a new lie, everything I thought was real was false. Got to the stage where things simply did not compute anymore. After a while I simply thought "f**k this" and moved on. Its was a choice, suffering is a choice. All you got to do is choose not to suffer.
deux ex machina Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 (edited) The biggest physical pain was my stomach. I was just in knots, it really felt as if it would never end. The pain did not end for a long time. I kept getting let down, trying to get him to be reasonable to everyone, kept giving chances when I really knew deep down that it simply wasn't fixable, and I could only deny what was all too apparent with one part of my mind - all the while the rest of my mind and body was screaming at me to gtfo. The other major physical "this feels like it will never end" thing was being unable to focus on things that are meaningful. I could not seem to concentrate or get out of my head for any reprieve from it. The only help for it was time, insight, and most of all, getting out of it with no going back. Had to excise and burn that out of my heart and mind completely. I didn't even come close to starting to heal until I came face-to-face with what ultimately I think I feared the most (the feeling of abandonment), and allowed myself to cry. I guess you can say that I had to give in, quit resisting, and let myself get "lost." That was the only way to know I was never really lost at all. Edited January 2, 2010 by deux ex machina
bluestraps Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 In my case I knew certain things may be possible to occour in my relationship.So at the begining while I was surprised mostly angry and panicking I also believe I felt relief. This relief may have only lasted a half minute or so . On the day of the breakup I did confront my ex and my friend who she decided she loved and was worth ending our 10 year relationship. We all 3 spent an evening out together as I tried to talk her out of it, not your normal breakup scenerio. I for the first week was in shock , I just thought some how this new reality would not last and things would go back to the way they were.Then I realized I just couldnt take being strong. I began to just feel numb and depressed. I began to have a pain in my stomach so strong just like the flu but this lasted for about 6 weeks. Also during this time I would sleep ok, but every morning I would realize what my life had become so I would sleep more.Once awake at about 5 at night , I would become angry because of the betrayal by my friend and his involvment with my ex. Of course limited eating for the first two months. I lost 20 pounds which was disturbing. The Physical pain lasted in total for 10 weeks, and was replaced with more emotional pain. Once I got to 12 weeks I felt more of a calm and I just started to not care really. The last 4 weeks have been more stable. My stomach pains are totaly gone But the regrets I have do occour at least twice a day. I think mostly we look back and think what we could have done differently. Thats really when you have a understanding of what has happened and it is clear just what has happened.
akaWetNoodle Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 For me everything feels like it's moving a million miles an hour, my heart beats twice as fast, I feel my muscles tremor, and I get shortness of breath... but at the same time, Time passes in slow motion. Pretty much everything feels intensified, but it feels like it will never end.
SadKitty78 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 My ex-bf broke up with me yesterday, on New Year's, after a bad night out on NYE, and when he told me the words on the phone, it was like I couldn't hear it! I felt this void in the pit of my stomach and I felt paralyzed - and when I woke up this morning, it was a feeling of disbelief, than emptiness, and literally, withdrawals from his touch...... things start to blur, time is either standing still or moving way too fast, not even sure....just pain pain pain. I'm alternating between yes, it wasn't meant to be, he should have been more compassionate and being angry, to being sad, feeling alone and abandoned...just a jolt to the system! Edit: Forgot to mention, shortness of breath, esp. upon initially hearing the words coming out of his mouth and upon waking up this morning and realizing what happened.
SadKitty78 Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 I feel like I can't breathe and I get this hot achy feeling in my chest and my arms. I also get really antsy like my body is trying to go somewhere and I can't control it and can't think. Worst feeling in the world!!!!!!! Wow, your description of how you felt was even better than how I tried to articulate it! That is exactly how I'm feeling!
Ro2Pi Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Well I'll be blunt about how I felt: There's that bullet in the chest feeling where the bullet feels very large and foreign. It feels like your heart or maybe your lungs can never get enough air to stop your chest from collapsing. You also lose your appetite. I forced myself to eat and tried to maintain at least half of my diet without feeling nauseous. There's also the feeling of exhaustion from crying for who knows how long from every muscle in your body. I probably missed a few things but I think that's the minimum.
SadKitty78 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Well I'll be blunt about how I felt: There's that bullet in the chest feeling where the bullet feels very large and foreign. It feels like your heart or maybe your lungs can never get enough air to stop your chest from collapsing. You also lose your appetite. I forced myself to eat and tried to maintain at least half of my diet without feeling nauseous. There's also the feeling of exhaustion from crying for who knows how long from every muscle in your body. I probably missed a few things but I think that's the minimum. Yes, it so amazing that you are experiencing the symptoms I am having! Haven't eaten in 2 days. Food just won't go down and my mouth is constantly dry. Everything is tasteless and dry and it's hard to shove things down your throat. I break into tears every other minute. And the breathing, so hard to breath. It's like he took away my breath when he broke up with me. For me, also, this out of body experience. My sister dragged me out to get some ice cream and on the way there and back, I can't even remember it. It's like it never happened because the whole time I'm in this daze. Everything is a DAZE.
HLP234 Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 You do become one with the person and uncoupling is the toughest. Like someone else said, one minute I will be fine and the next few hours all these feelings and thoughts just come rushing in to your head. I start to miss her and think about her and everything that I try to do brings back a memory of something we did together. Even eating at some places, brings those feelings back. I took some of the pain away and emotions by going out to to shoot a few rounds off..it kinda helped but now the feelings are coming back. I hate the dreams as well they never seem to get better.
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