ladyjane83 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 So Ive been trying online dating and am on 2 sites Mysinglefriend and Plenty of fish. I have been talking to a few guys but I have 2 that I am most keen on, 1 from each site. I have met up with the guy from MSF twice (but thats another story!) but not the one from POF yet. But unfortunatly, the guy from POF is the one that I think I am more 'interested' in (well, as interested as you can be without meeting). The problem is, we have been messaging since October! only about 7-8 emails so far and this is because he takes soooo long to reply..like 2 weeks sometimes!! we have made a bit of a joke out of it and he has said that he is just quite forgetful and reads the emails on hi phone but then forgets to log on and reply when he is next on his comp. So I'm thinking hmm, if he was that interested he wouldnt forget. So 2 days ago after waiting 2 weeks for a reply I emailed him with ".....should I give up!?" and got a reply nearly straight away saying "no no, dont do that! sorry we know Im rubbish at this" etc etc went on to ask about my xmas and tell me about his and the he said "are you on facebook? its alot easier for me to reply on there" So I replied with my fb details and he added me about an hour later and sent me an email to say how he has added me on fb. Things are looking a bit better already, I facebook messaged him yeaterday and he replied even joking "hey check this out, I've replied within the hour" I replied and did hear back but he facbooked me from his mobile last night to say happy new year. SO...my question is..is he interested?? at first with the delayed replies I was worrying that he had a gf, but if that was the case he wouldnt have added me onto his fb. maybe he is just a bit scatty? I fb'd him today and said happy new year and asked if he had a good night, no reply yet. Is he just keeping me hanging?? Thing is, I like the other guy on MSF..but I really want to see if there is anything with this guy before I go commit one way or another with the msf guy (because I think I may like this one more, but cant tell without meeting) but because of his delays its taking soooo long. Im thinking, next time he responds I will reply and ask him outright if he is interested in meeting up...at least then I will get a better idea of if he is interested or if he is just keeping me hanging. what do you think?
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'm thinking you really need to get out more.
jerbear Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'm thinking you really need to get out more. I'll have to second this one! Also, if your POF interests takes 2 weeks to respond, well you might be the backup when his well is dry! Plus adding him to FB is just a hook for him to keep tabs on you. He'll throw you a bone, come back and forget about another guy who actually will give you the time of day. I would have to say, put him on the back burner, get out more, and go on a date with the MSF one. At least you're moving forward. If you wait to long, the MSF guy will lose interest.
Author ladyjane83 Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 ....because I'm trying online dating?! yeah thanks for that.
Author ladyjane83 Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 I am going out to try and meet people too, but havent yet...online is just another way of meeting people, like lots of people do. Not my only way. The question wsnt about whether I need to get out more!! Yeah, I have been on 2 dates with msf guy, and will go out with him again (he mentioned sometime this week) but there is just something I like about POF guy , we seem as if we would have more in common. But yeah, I get the feeling that he may just be keeping me hanging. Thats why I'm wondering whether to just ask if he is interested in meeting up, get it out there as so far neither of us has mentioned it.
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 No, because I think you should stop flogging a dead horse. I believe that if he was interested in anything other than friendship, it would have surfaced by now., He's obviously not as in to you as he might be, and the lack of interest to me would be both a red flag, and an insult. You're doing all the running, here.... I'd rather talk to someone who shows a continued interest, and doesn't suddenly come up with an idea when you pull them up on it. He sounds like hard work. Do you actually want to work this hard? Don't you think his attitude reflects what he'd be like in RL? Shouldn't guys woo ladies? Look, if you're happy doing this, then be my guest. I'm just giving you my opinion. But all the time you're talking to someone sitting in front of a screen, and tapping away on a keyboard, life could be passing by your window, and you could be missing out. Why not join a club, or an organisation? Do voluntary work, go hiking, horse trekking, I dunno..... but get out some, and meet people F2F. Ultimately, it's quicker, and more gratifying than sitting there wondering why your screen's blank.
Author ladyjane83 Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 yeah thats the advice I was after..if Im wasting my time on him or not. Not comments about my lifestyle! And "wasting my time" talking to guys online is no different to spending time talking to people on forums such as this is it not??.....like I said, I go out aswell, online is something I do when Im at home and have the time, but its not like I would cancel a night out to stay in on the computer instead!!...and I really dont have to justify why Im trying online dating, I just wanted some peoples opinions on this guy.
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) Not once have I mentioned that online dating is a waste of time. This is something you think I mean. But I do think this guy is a waste of time. You sound like an intelligent person, so sincerely, I'm wondering why you didn't conclude this for yourself. And there's no hidden insult there. I think if you re-read your original post from a stranger's standpoint, you'd ask the OP the same question. And I didn't comment on your lifestyle, I just showed concern and made some suggestions. Really, I'm sorry, but you need to stop being so defensive and prickly. Shoot, at least I've contributed to your thread, which is more than anyone else has done. Apart from jerbear, that is..... Edited January 1, 2010 by TaraMaiden apologies to jerbear - didn't see you there!
Mary3 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) I think you should get yourself out of texts and off line dating sites. This guy took 2 weeks to respond and you should respect yourself MORE and ignore him. Its like he knows you are hanging around the computer , looking eager , texting. and he has LOST interest because you are too see-through ...too easy.. Give the man a challenge and ignore him for 2 weeks. Edited January 1, 2010 by Mary3 get it ...
jerbear Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Yeah, I have been on 2 dates with msf guy, and will go out with him again (he mentioned sometime this week) but there is just something I like about POF guy , we seem as if we would have more in common. But yeah, I get the feeling that he may just be keeping me hanging. Thats why I'm wondering whether to just ask if he is interested in meeting up, get it out there as so far neither of us has mentioned it. The MSF guy is showing interests while you are trying to pursue someone who you can't have. After the 3rd date, you should make a decision to either go forward with MSF guy or keep pursuing POF guy. Honestly, I say ditch the POF guy, delete him from FB and see how MSF guy goes. It should not be that hard! The guy should chase but in your case; you're chasing the wrong guy.
DustySaltus Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 When you meet someone and there is interest things progress quickly. 2 months and no date is ridiculous. Not having his phone number after 2 months makes no sense. At the moment where you messaged him, "should I give up?", he should've took the initiative right there to set up a date. He didn't. Leave him alone.
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