Not sure what to make of this

[Eclypse]

Howdy all. Hope everyone's new years eve was awesome. I'm interested in people's opinions on something. I met a girl a few weeks ago at a party. We've been talking online every now and then since, and also hanging out in group gatherings. I began getting feelings. She really is an awesome girl.

 

Last night at new years eve we were at the same party. We hung out quite a bit, but didn't hook up. I think I had a lot of alcohol that night. Most of it I had after she left. On the way home i decided to bite the bullet and got out my phone and told her that I liked her a lot. She then said that she thought I was really awesome, but that she isn't ready to jump into a relationship yet as she still has to sort something out with someone else first. At a party about a month ago she had made a move on one of my friends and got rejected badly. I was aware of this (as was our whole friendship group).

 

I'm thinking I screwed up by telling her how I feel. So to you, experienced loveshack posters, I pose this question. When a girl says something like this one did to me, that she thinks your awesome, but isn't ready for a relationship. Does that mean there is a hope for anything in the future happening, or have my chances with her bombed faster than Tiger Wood's reputation?

[Left in a Lurch]

Sounds like maybe she is hung up on the other guy and not interested. Doesn't mean that won't change when she moves on, but she probably still has blinders on for this guy.

 

Not to be negative but assuming she likes you as a friend and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, what she said is what I would expect her to say. She rejected you indefinitely but said you were awesome- sounds like a nice rejection.

 

If this is the case you didn't mess up, you took a chance and got an answer. I wouldn't dwell on her she might be hung up on the other guy for a long time and if you pursue her you might get strung along and always feel like you have a chance simply because she does not want to hurt you.

 

I'd move on so you can be happy. If something happens, great, but I think you run a bigger risk of not being totally rejected and always thinking there is a chance because she is friendly or flirty at times, when there might not be a chance to begin with.

 

I just think if she is single and was even moderately interested in dating you, she wouldn't need to sort out any feelings for anyone else she was rejected by before she could date you.

 

I have found that usually when you have to ask yourself a question like this it is because you know the answer and want to convince yourself otherwise, or else your gut would tell you she was interested and you wouldn't have to ask the question.

Edited January 1, 2010 by Chat Room Hero

[boogieboy]

Heres where you went wrong. If you find yourself interested in a girl, you ask her for her number the first night you meet her. Dont wait for 10 friend gatherings to ask her number, and dont talk to her online before you talk to her on the phone. Make a date in a 10 minute phone call, and when you go oin the date, kiss her halfway though the date. Now you also have to know that she is into you. If shes not, then you back off.

 

Secondly, you NEVER tell them how you feel. If you are talking to them, they will wonder if you like them, you dont verbalize it. You ruin the challenge. If you arent a challenge, you get the answer that she gave you. Anything that isnt a yes is a no.

 

You know why she had to sort out things with the other guy? He never let her know that he likes her...he probably wasnt. But she likes to wonder about it, and work her way to his heart. If you come out and tell her, without knowing that she REALLY likes you, then you shoot yourself in the foot.

[theizz]

Yeah don't tell a girl you like her before you've had sex. You need to bait and lead her into it. Otherwise she will either think you're too easy or she'll feel like a slut for putting out.