jay_h Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 where do i start. i was dating my ex for nearly 4years, we were each others first love. we always had problems in our relationship and constantly argued bt we stuck it out for years, not because we had nothing better, simply because we loved each other. about 5months ago we broke up. she cheated on me wid sum1 she works wid, she dident even have the decincy to explain or tell me why. i saw dem together one day wen i went outside her work. this wasnt the first time she cheated on me. in the 4years we wer together she cheated on me atleast 4 times, bt it kinda wasnt cheating coz we were broken up at them times. i jus dont know were i went wrong, i must admit i didnt treat her well, bt the reason for me not treating her well is jus simply because i cudnt trust her and was constantly thinking what is hse going to do next. we had a child together who pasted away. she even asked me to marry her one week b4 she cheated on me. for the last 5 months al i do is constantly think bout her and our baby. i dont know why bt i dont hate her for cheating and me and really curious why i still love her after what she did to me. she was really cold when she broke up with me. she didnt explain to me why she cheated on me. i went to ask her 1 day why she did what she did, and u not gonna belive what she did, she got the police to arrest me saying im harrasing her. she never relyed to a single msg or call of mine. so i got my mate to ask her why she messed my life up. her answer to him was that she didnt love me and i was just a bad habit for her. the funny thing is she has been loyal to her new boyfreind and does everything for him, everthing she should have don for me. al i tryed doing for her was looking out for her and made sure she had a bright future, was that wrong?? she hasnt called or texted me everysince breaking up, all i do is miss her and think about her, i still love her, all i want is her back. what should i do because i have tryed moving on and i cant, i cant contact her because of police and i cant live with out her.is there any way i can get her back?? im sure most of you people are thinking im crazy wanting a girld like that back, maybe i am but i cant help ma feeling. i probly havnt made any sence but thanks for taking the time to read this
LovelyDaze Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Let's do this with clarity. You sound fairly young..are you still in your teens or early 20s. It does matter with the advice I want to give.
Author jay_h Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 i met her when i was 19 and now am 23
LovelyDaze Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 i met her when i was 19 and now am 23 OK. Sounds like she is going through some self-destructive patterns and it almost seems honorable that she is keeping you out of them instead of pulling you into them. You can love her, but love her from a distance. The new BF is not going to fair any better. No one person is the cure to fixing a broken person, only the broken person themselves has to do that and they must do it for themselves and nobody else. Do all you can to focus on yourself. I know I am not that much older but at 23, you will meet plenty of potential mates by the time you are 30. You don't believe me now because you are "here" in this place. But try to remember to come back on LS in a year or so and see if your whole perspective doesn't change. I have done research on LS of people who were madly in love on one post and months, years later end up on the Breaking up post and vice versa! The change in their thoughts and ideas are amazing. You will come out of this, but you have to work 100x hard at it. No half-steps or short-cuts. Walk down the path to healing by letting her go. Like drinking motor oil is not a good idea, she is not good for your heart and you know that deep down inside.
Author jay_h Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 i dont think she is in self destruct phase, i think its simply she doesnt either love me or never has and jus used me all these years. thanks for your advise Lovelydase, much appreciated
gaudi Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Just make sure you stay strong, taking each day as it comes is exactly what you should do. I'm finding out how difficult that is though. Today has been my worst by far, I hadn't been too bad the past couple of weeks, think about her a lot but have maintained NC. However today, for whatever reason, I broke down crying, I miss her so much, I want her back so much, I love her so much, I would do anything for her. She doesn't want me. Should I break NC and tell her (again) how much I want her........No. Will she suddenly change her mind about everything if I tell her how i'm feeling right now......No. Can I make her love me again......No. Is there anything I can do about the way I'm feeling right now....No. I will see how I feel tomorrow. Each day as it comes.
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