bwild024 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Ok, here goes. The wife and I have been married 6 years, together for 10. We have a 5 year old son who means more to me than life itself. My wife cheated on my about 4 years ago, and I decided I wanted to try to work things out. I was trying very hard, and the whole time she just didnt seem like her heart was in it, even though she is the one that messed up, and I was willing to try to forgive and forget. Anyway, the marriage was intact but we were working on it as of July, when we decided to move to Phoenix. After about 4 months there, she decided she was not happy, and wanted to move to where her family is from in rural Georgia. I agreed to do this for her, because at the time, her happiness meant more to me than my own. After being in Georgia for a few months, I became suspicious and eventually found proof that she had been cheating on me yet again, with at least 2 other guys (which she still denies, even though I have chat logs proving otherwise). Anyway, what I need to know is how to proceed. Here is my situation. We both had decent jobs in Colorado, and when we moved to Phoenix, both of us got even better jobs, which we left because she wanted to be in GA. In GA, she was able to find a 10$/hr job, but I have been unable to find work in the few months we have been there, as I am an IT professional, and there isnt much work for one such as me in rural GA. I would like primary custody of my son, and I would like to move back to Phoenix were I would be able to stay with family and at least have a chance of finding another good job. My wife thinks she deserves primary custody because she has her ****ty little job, and she is living with her mother in a trailer. Throughout my sons life, it has always been me that has spent more time with him. She would rather go out to the club dancing with random guys then stay home with our son. I would rather do nothing than be with my son, but this is a hard thing to argue in court. Anyway, if this goes to court, it will have to be in Colorado since that is the only place we have been for more than 6 months. I want to know what will happen when we have to have a custody battle in a state in which neither of us live. Any and all help is extremely helpful. I am not handling this well, I am profoundly depressed. She was the love of my life, and she apparently didnt care for me whatsoever. I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding, freaking out, and as far as I can tell, she is not bothered by all of this, and has even begun openly dating someone. I came out to Phoenix to visit family and give her some alone time, and while I was out here is when I found the proof of her infidelity. I really cant bear to go back to GA and face her, but I miss my son, and I know it looks bad to leave. Someone please help me. I know the first thing I need to do is get a lawyer, but I have very little money, and I dont even know which state in which to seek a lawyer.
Elizabrary Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) You need to seek legal advice before you do anything else. Contact your local library. I am a librarian and we offer free legal clinics weekly for those who cannot afford a lawyer. If they don't offer a clinic there the librarian can tell you where to find low cost legal help in your area. If I were you I would also immediately start job hunting in the area you want to move back to. I'm working on my second divorce now (no kids, thank goodness) but I had a child when I was divorced the first time. You have to have proof that you can support your child to have any hope of custody. I'm sorry you're going through this. I am getting divorced after being cheated on (yet again) by my husband. It hurts like hell, but I KNOW I will be better off and happier without him. I just have to soldier through this horrible period of pain. I wake up feeling just like you do, and it sucks! Hang in there! Edited December 31, 2009 by Elizabrary
seibert253 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Most counties, even in GA have a free legal aid system. They will be in the phone book, or contact the local or state BAR. They can refer you. Many attorneys also give the 1st consultation for free. Call around. Unfortuantly, the really good ones usually don't do this. As with anything else, you get what you pay for.
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