DietDrPepper Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 So I'm looking for any opinions, experiences and methods on getting a girl by being persistent. This is assuming that she hasn't officially ever said no she isn't interested, nor has she completely cut off contact. Ladies does it work for you or does it come across as being annoying? I mean how much persistence do you like a guy to show when you are unsure if you are interested or not, or perhaps if you are dating multiple guys and having to choose? Guys, any methods of persistence that have worked with you or blown up in your face? Just curious on everyone's thoughts since some threads have been touching on this but not expanding on the idea, when in fact it maybe just as important as "No Contact"
sagetalk Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 So I'm looking for any opinions, experiences and methods on getting a girl by being persistent. Lots of factors here. For the most part, persistence does not work in regards to dating (in my opinion). If you are persistent, you may be able to get her on the rebound after she breaks up with another guy, but you'd have to be lightning fast. Most guys consider those guys enormous losers. The only way you could ever even pull off a long term, persistent, pursuit is to be her non-romantic friend, and almost any guy will tell you that is death. You will have to watch her sleep with other guys and she will tell you about it. It will kill you, don't do it. Your best bet is to meet her, ask her out on a date and wherever it goes from there is where it usually ends (unless you get back together after you break up of course). Long term chasing after a girl is dangerous to your health and not very plausible unless you start the relationship with her knowing that you are romantically interested. Go for it and get it over with. Don't be a chicken, if she has a boyfriend, keep in light contact, back off and find another girl. The most important factor is to stay out of the friends zone. If she cuts you off romantically, cut off contact with her (unless you really do just want to be her friend). I'm still learning this stuff myself (I'll never know all the answers), I hope that helped in some way.
Els Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Persistence is possibly the worst method conceivable (right next to purposefully smashing her face into her dish when it arrives during the date, perhaps). Consistency is good (call when you say you will) - persistency never is.
bwidger Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Yes, if your consistent with what you say (calling when you say you will, etc) then that is good. However, if your persistent with a girl who can't find the time nor the patience to talk with you, then that's not good. Persistence is for guys who keep trying to pick up a girl who clearly has no interest...
InspiredbyYou Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 So if she never said no, she never rejected you or cut you off then how are you being persistent? Persistence is going against the obstacles, you have listed none.
Author DietDrPepper Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 So if she never said no, she never rejected you or cut you off then how are you being persistent? Persistence is going against the obstacles, you have listed none. Yea i guess that's true
Phateless Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 So I'm looking for any opinions, experiences and methods on getting a girl by being persistent. This is assuming that she hasn't officially ever said no she isn't interested, nor has she completely cut off contact. Ladies does it work for you or does it come across as being annoying? I mean how much persistence do you like a guy to show when you are unsure if you are interested or not, or perhaps if you are dating multiple guys and having to choose? Guys, any methods of persistence that have worked with you or blown up in your face? Just curious on everyone's thoughts since some threads have been touching on this but not expanding on the idea, when in fact it maybe just as important as "No Contact" Oy vey... Yuki, where are you to help me out with this one?? -Start by making sure she has a good time around you. -contact should be one call for one call. DO NOT keep bugging her if she doesn't return contact! -don't be easy to get - always have something fun going on so she wants to be a part of your life - you have to have value to offer -date other women so she isn't your only option - having other women interested in you makes you more desirable (social proof) -challenge her in a fun way - learn how to flirt Can you give us some bullet points of the situation up to this point? No essays please, just bullet points. Thanks.
Author DietDrPepper Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) Can you give us some bullet points of the situation up to this point? No essays please, just bullet points. Thanks. Bullet points ok! - she hasn't said she wasn't interested - she had high interest level at first, even after first date but she was legit sick for a week and we lost touch - she didn't seem like the type to drag stuff out - last time she made initial contact via text (our main communication) was Christmas Eve (she was with family most of the time after that) - she apologized profusely for falling off the map when she was sick for a week - she hasn't rescheduled a second date that she canceled since she was legit sick - I called her Monday night and got voicemail, left message. No reply. - I texted her Wednesday and she replied instantly apologizing for falling off the map again due to family friend tragedy during christmas - I texted her that I still wanted to go on the second date and she said she did too and said i was cute - Then i left the ball in her court by saying to get a hold of me when everything is calm in her world and she said "Thanks ;)" - She still is checking out her online dating profile Edited December 31, 2009 by DietDrPepper
Phateless Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Bullet points ok! - she hasn't said she wasn't interested - she had high interest level at first, even after first date but she was legit sick for a week and we lost touch - she didn't seem like the type to drag stuff out - last time she made initial contact via text (our main communication) was Christmas Eve (she was with family most of the time after that) - she apologized profusely for falling off the map when she was sick for a week - she hasn't rescheduled a second date that she canceled since she was legit sick - I called her Monday night and got voicemail, left message. No reply. - I texted her Wednesday and she replied instantly apologizing for falling off the map again due to family friend tragedy during christmas - I texted her that I still wanted to go on the second date and she said she did too and said i was cute - Then i left the ball in her court by saying to get a hold of me when everything is calm in her world and she said "Thanks ;)" - She still is checking out her online dating profile My advice in your other thread still stands. Chill out, do your own thing, quit over-analyzing. It's up to her to call you now. If she doesn't, you have your answer. If you really think she is someone you like, give it a couple of weeks of COMPLETE RADIO SILENCE and then reinitiate and start over. There are 7 billion people on the planet and half of them are women. It's been one date - why are you obsessing over this one?
Yukikazi Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 It's up to her to call you now. If she doesn't, you have your answer. If you really think she is someone you like, give it a couple of weeks of COMPLETE RADIO SILENCE and then reinitiate and start over. Agreed.. let it go till she decides to contact you.. She is a girl.. if you are contacting her.. she knows you are interested... Now you need to know if she is.. so you wait for her to contact you.. if she does.. then she is.. if she dosen't go find someone else. Just 1 of those annoying lil tests that are done to guage interest level. Sad but it happens.
D-Lish Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 So if she never said no, she never rejected you or cut you off then how are you being persistent? Persistence is going against the obstacles, you have listed none. A good point and well said.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Persistence rarely works. If you like someone and are available to date, you would date wouldn't you? Where's the persistence? Hm, I think you should do your own thing and let her contact you, you said you would leave it up to her, so do that. If she does, fab, if not, well there you go.
b52s Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 So I'm looking for any opinions, experiences and methods on getting a girl by being persistent. This is assuming that she hasn't officially ever said no she isn't interested, nor has she completely cut off contact. Ladies does it work for you or does it come across as being annoying? I mean how much persistence do you like a guy to show when you are unsure if you are interested or not, or perhaps if you are dating multiple guys and having to choose? Guys, any methods of persistence that have worked with you or blown up in your face? Just curious on everyone's thoughts since some threads have been touching on this but not expanding on the idea, when in fact it maybe just as important as "No Contact" I hate to say this, and this is unfortunate....I don't risk persistence one bit, for fear of winding up with some kind of criminal record, and warn guys to try to be the least persistent as possible. If you value your life (well, your livelihood), you'll back off after a couple of shots Maybe even after ONE shot. If you do it to the wrong woman, you'll wind up with a restraining order because some flaky woman got paranoid. Besides, if you have to be persistent to be woman, and you DO succeed, chances are this woman won't give a crap about you, because she knows she use you and get you wrapped around her little finger. If going this route to get a woman to go out with you, chances are, she won't lift a finger for YOU in the relationship.
D-Jam Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I think persistence would only work if the woman would consider you as "dating material", but is on the fence. The persistent guy then convinces her to give him a shot...so her "eh, I dunno" will turn into a "I guess I could give it a try" and thus she goes. It might also come off as "he's trying so hard, so he must really be into me". HOWEVER, if she doesn't see the guy as "dating material", then persistence would only come off to her as "creepy". It won't convince her to give things a shot, but would more make her repulsed and thus run away. FRANKLY...I believe if you have to work your butt off to get a date with someone, then you're better off leaving her be. In my book you work hard and fight for the person who would do the same for you...not for someone that wouldn't go to the limit for you the way you would for him/her.
alphamale Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 So I'm looking for any opinions, experiences and methods on getting a girl by being persistent. you can try calling/txting her regularly even if she says she wants NC
one goal Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Id like to know if it works also because this girl at work. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t214965/
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