New Again Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I've made my decision to break up. But, tonight is NYE obviously and we had plans, then tomorrow we're supposed to leave for a wedding for the weekend. Mostly I'm concerned about the wedding, since I doubt he could get another date for it on such short notice, and the bride is expecting me and has paid for my attendance at the wedding/reception. It seems kind of crappy to wait until after those things, but since it's a wedding and it's such short notice, should I wait until after?
gtrguy Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Due to the timing and the wedding, I would just wait till after the New Year. Sorry to hear and wish you the best with it. I've made my decision to break up. But, tonight is NYE obviously and we had plans, then tomorrow we're supposed to leave for a wedding for the weekend. Mostly I'm concerned about the wedding, since I doubt he could get another date for it on such short notice, and the bride is expecting me and has paid for my attendance at the wedding/reception. It seems kind of crappy to wait until after those things, but since it's a wedding and it's such short notice, should I wait until after?
mansquito Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Why are you breaking up with him? If it's because you're just not feeling it, it's probably kindest to wait until after the wedding, assuming it's his friends/family that are getting married. If it's your friends or family, then break it off an go by yourself. If it's because the relationship is damaging to one or both of you, break it off ASAP. There will be other NYE's and other weddings.
mansquito Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Wait, I just saw this thread. He sprang this wedding on you with three weeks notice? Ejection seat. End it now.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Hm. It's tricky. I've been there. I recently called it quits with my ex, and we had tickets to see a comedian which meant an overnight stay and six hour round trip. I broke up before the event, bad timing or what? But I went anyway, and so did he. I would wait personally. But go with your gut on this one. Do you think going will sway your decision to end it? Will it make it harder? It's easy for us to say wait, but if you feel that you need to end it now, end it now.
kimflute26 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Normally I would say never wait for something like this, but this is a special case (since others are depending on you being there and whatnot). Just wait til after the New Year. edit: actually I agree with the above. go with your gut feeling.
Author New Again Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 I'm pretty sure that something will happen over the weekend that will only further cement how I currently feel. It's probably the right thing to do to wait, I just feel terrible holding out on this, since I've made a decision. It will probably affect my behavior. Just as an example, I know I won't have sex with him between now and whenever we break up. But normally we have a really good sex life, and our frequency or whatever you want to call it probably averages out to once a day.
jw90063 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I've made my decision to break up. But, tonight is NYE obviously and we had plans, then tomorrow we're supposed to leave for a wedding for the weekend. Mostly I'm concerned about the wedding, since I doubt he could get another date for it on such short notice, and the bride is expecting me and has paid for my attendance at the wedding/reception. It seems kind of crappy to wait until after those things, but since it's a wedding and it's such short notice, should I wait until after? Omg.... I would totally wait until after NYE and the wedding. Even if it feels awkward, you could just go along with it , until these events pass. It just seems like so many people have the worst timing in breaking up with someone.
pricillia Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I broke up with someone on NYE or at least I knew it was over then... Looking back it was the best thing that I ever did and I do not regret now and am greatfull for having that experience and know what I do NOT need in my life. If your intuition tells you to let it go then let it go. Good luck and happy new year
bwidger Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 May I ask why your breaking up with him in the first place?
harmfulsweetz Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Omg.... I would totally wait until after NYE and the wedding. Even if it feels awkward, you could just go along with it , until these events pass. It just seems like so many people have the worst timing in breaking up with someone. Is there ever really a good time to break up with someone though? I mean, if it's not one thing, it's another, and then another, many people find many reasons to postpone breaking up with someone...sometimes it's best to just end it now, and quit with the excuses.
sally4sara Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I would wait. I'm sure there are other people at the wedding you can enjoy being around. And yeah.....if you are certain about breaking up, you will see all the reasons why even more clearly now that you've begun to disengage... :(Sorry dear. I'm going to be at Asylum for a bit tonight if you want to stop by......
threebyfate Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 IMO, wait until after the wedding, for a number of reasons. Just make sure you assert yourself during this time period so it's not detrimental to your own emotional health.
mansquito Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 If you don't feel like you're going to be able to maintain the facade over the weekend, then the kindest thing to do is to treat him with honesty and dump him right away. He'll probably hate your guts for it, but he'll probably hate your guts if you're standoffish Thursday, Friday, and Saturday before dumping him on Monday, too.
Author New Again Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 May I ask why your breaking up with him in the first place? Cuz he's a mean jerk! Just kidding. We're not compatible; I'm not getting what I need out of the relationship, and he has been unwilling and/or unable to communicate with me about our issues when I bring them up. I would wait. I'm sure there are other people at the wedding you can enjoy being around. And yeah.....if you are certain about breaking up, you will see all the reasons why even more clearly now that you've begun to disengage... :(Sorry dear. I'm going to be at Asylum for a bit tonight if you want to stop by...... Thanks! I'm going to be down in VA tonight - mixed blessing, I'll be with my friends, rather than his, and with my best friend....would love to meet you though! If you don't feel like you're going to be able to maintain the facade over the weekend, then the kindest thing to do is to treat him with honesty and dump him right away. He'll probably hate your guts for it, but he'll probably hate your guts if you're standoffish Thursday, Friday, and Saturday before dumping him on Monday, too. I know I can stick it out and act OK, other than the sex thing. It just seems like a lie, really, to not say something now, but the timing is definitely really bad. I know I couldn't be intimate with him after making this decision - that seems to me like it would be the biggest lie of all. I would never be stand offish toward him, even now. I don't hate him, and it's not as though he's betrayed me (cheating), and this isn't all his fault. A lot of it is my fault.
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