Phateless Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Well.. I've been sick for the last few days (flu).. so I didn't go out at all. He called last night, he's leaving tonight for Punta Cana. We talked for over 2 1/2 hours... He is definitely interested.. we'll see each other again... he said as soon as he comes back.. he'll take me out for dinner. He also said he will email me from the resort. He has lots of 'projects' so we'll see how that goes.. because for some of these projects I can't see myself in.. (he's planning to buy a condo in Florida )... but that can change.. What bugs me a little.. (I know it's ridiculous but..) it seems like he's trying too hard.. if I say something like I don't like this or that.. he will say like me... that he's not like that.. blablabla.. I have a feeling he wants to please me too much.. (gosh I wish I wasn't so hard on men ), like he's not being totally 'honest' just to 'please' me... it's hard to explain.. Wish me luck! lol I think Ruby hit the nail on the head. I'm hoping this gets better as you get to know him better.
meerkat stew Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 What bugs me a little.. (I know it's ridiculous but..) it seems like he's trying too hard.. if I say something like I don't like this or that.. he will say like me... that he's not like that.. blablabla.. I have a feeling he wants to please me too much.. (gosh I wish I wasn't so hard on men ), like he's not being totally 'honest' just to 'please' me... it's hard to explain.. Wish me luck! That's not ridiculous at all, and lots of men make that kind of supplication mistake. Try to consider it as noise until he gets more comfortable around you. And the honesty concern is not ridiculous either. There's a term for people who try to please on the front end then become resentful as things bottle up on the back end, and though the term is way overused, those types aren't fun to be with.
marlena Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Do you think it's possible to eventually fall in love with someone you don't feel 'chemistry' (sexual) on the first date. I met this guy last night.. he's amazing.. nice guy, pretty good looking, looks much younger for his age (he's 52).. retired, living on his investments and commercial/residential properties... We had a good time.. (no sex) just a peck on the cheek when I left.. at first I thought he wasn't that interested since he was kind of 'shy' and he came across (on the phone) as someone really NOT shy at all.. very social, outgoing.. likes to be in public.. etc. He told me he had book a trip down south for 10 days (leaving this Monday).. So I got up this morning and I have an email from him.. saying he was shy cause he was a little intimidated by me (he thought I was very good looking)... and he wants to see me again (invitation for a nice dinner)... Problem is ... I didn't feel much chemistry (sexual) on my part.. he's nice but it's just not there.. but I would LIKE to 'feel' more .. since this one would be a keeper.. he's got a lot of what I'm looking for.. (nice personality, money, good sense of humour) so far so good.. but I sooo want to feel more.. this would be my chance.. IMO... We don't meet 'keepers' every day.. Hi Lizzie, Here are my thoughts based on my own experiences. Experience 1: When I was doing the online thing, I met a man who was very, very nice. He was a widow, quite handsome but rather shorter than I like them and appeared to be like you said a "keeper". So, I convinced myself to give it a chance. I dated him a number of times over a six month period but that much longed for chemistry just wouldn't develop (for me at least). But I kept on dating him because he was a "keeper" hoping desire would eventually hit me. One day I had had enough so I decided to put the whole thing to the test and take him to bed. Not once but twice. Both times were a DISASTER! I couldn't go through with it and he of course felt it. Needles to say, I stopped dating him. Experience 2: Someone I slightly knew for years who I thought was rather on the ugly side. I never thought I'd go to bed with him. One summer after going through a rather long dry spell after my divorce I decided to give into his relentless pursuit and do it. The night before I actually kidded around with my friends saying I would have to get drunk to do this. Guess what? As soon as he started kissing me, I swooned. I fell madly in love with him and it lasted 5 whole years. Unfortunately, he was married!!! So. I guess I would say, chemistry may or may not happen. The best way to find out is to take him too bed. That simple!!
RedDevil66 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 It happened with me.......my current BF and I met on a dating site. When I met him, there was NO chemistry at all. I had no desire to be more than friends with him. We became hang out friends (never any sex or anything intimate) and he was a fun guy to hang with. He used to email/call and txt me daily, then months into being friends, he went away with his buddies for a week. He didn't txt me for 4 days and I was like "what the?" Then he called me on night 5 of being away and I jumped for my cell. Stayed on the phone with him for 4 hrs on a work night til 3am. Bang, chemistry was made ;-) That was over 4 yrs ago And are you softening? I didn't think you wanted a relationship?! Though I am happy to hear you would like to
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 Good to hear that some had good experiences.. I will give him a few chances... and most probably will take him to bed.. He said he would give me a nice massage when he comes back from his trip..
Phateless Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Good to hear that some had good experiences.. I will give him a few chances... and most probably will take him to bed.. He said he would give me a nice massage when he comes back from his trip.. Lucky guy...
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Lucky guy... Could also be Lucky Me... who knows.. he could be amazing in bed..
Author Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 Humm... methink this guy is married... He came back from down south (spent 2 weeks)... then returned to Florida .. just got back late last night.. left me a message this afternoon.. We only met once... but we talked many times (for hours) on the phone... He won't give me his home phone number until we know each other more... or his address.. yet.. (but I checked and I think I found it on the Internet).. We talked around supper time... there were a few 'awkward' silences.. he must have asked me 4 times 'sooo.. what's new'... like he didn't know what to say... He didn't ask to see me tonite.. nor did I ask him... (I am not sure if he was waiting for me to say something)... He asked me if work was busy.. I said "not really,.. I spend a lot of time on the 'interior design' sites... he started to laugh.. 'interior design.. yeah right'... as if he didn't believe me.. I think this guy has someone in his life.. I have this 'little voice'...something is off... When he went down south.. supposingly alone.. I asked him many questions about his trip.. and on 2 occasions.. he said 'we' then quickly said 'I'... Another weird case..
Phateless Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Humm... methink this guy is married... He came back from down south (spent 2 weeks)... then returned to Florida .. just got back late last night.. left me a message this afternoon.. We only met once... but we talked many times (for hours) on the phone... He won't give me his home phone number until we know each other more... or his address.. yet.. (but I checked and I think I found it on the Internet).. We talked around supper time... there were a few 'awkward' silences.. he must have asked me 4 times 'sooo.. what's new'... like he didn't know what to say... He didn't ask to see me tonite.. nor did I ask him... (I am not sure if he was waiting for me to say something)... He asked me if work was busy.. I said "not really,.. I spend a lot of time on the 'interior design' sites... he started to laugh.. 'interior design.. yeah right'... as if he didn't believe me.. I think this guy has someone in his life.. I have this 'little voice'...something is off... When he went down south.. supposingly alone.. I asked him many questions about his trip.. and on 2 occasions.. he said 'we' then quickly said 'I'... Another weird case.. I think you need to trust your instincts on this one... you don't have much else to go on...
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 He came back from Florida.. he said he had found a condo and would have to go back.. we spoke for about an hour (I think)... anyway.. we haven't spoken since.. (about 3 weeks now)... I didn't call him back... I got an email yesterday... weird one.. saying he'd like me to call him if I want.. that he's back from his trip.. blablabla... I replied 'I know.. we have spoken since'... (strange)... He called me last night.. I didn't pick up the phone.. I was expecting someone... he left me this message: Hi.. it's M... how are you? I'm the guy from the trips down south... blablabla.. then this: 'I had forgotten about you'.... yeah right... as if... what a freaken azz... he left me his home phone this time.. but I will not call him back.. I just came back now and I saw he called.. but didn't leave me a message.... gosh some men... they act as if they were 16 yr old boys..
tami-chan Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 HI Lizzie! Does he have business in Punta Cana? Just wondering why anyone would go to beautiful Dominican Republic "alone" for two weeks.... do single men do that? Anyway..."I had forgotten about you"....what a jerk....I say you call him and tell him you want to see him-decide on date and place, then not show up....I bet he wont forget you then!...nooooooooo, don't do that.....gosh, I am so evil....I say block his number and on to a new guy!
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 HI Lizzie! Does he have business in Punta Cana? Just wondering why anyone would go to beautiful Dominican Republic "alone" for two weeks.... do single men do that? Anyway..."I had forgotten about you"....what a jerk....I say you call him and tell him you want to see him-decide on date and place, then not show up....I bet he wont forget you then!...nooooooooo, don't do that.....gosh, I am so evil....I say block his number and on to a new guy! I went on vacation alone once.. so I thought it could be true.. BUT.. I had a feeling it wasn't .. so I questioned him.. and twice he used 'we' instead of 'I'...
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 Oh and if we ever speak again.. or email.. I will say something like: 'If our first date was sooooo insignificant, that you had forgotten about me.. I think it's best that you lose my number and move on.."
Angel1111 Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Well, I guess that answers your question about the chemistry thing. I like your come-back if you ever talk to him again. I mean, what guy in this world thinks it's a good thing to tell a woman that he forgot about her? If he was just being a jerk, I might get it. But to keep calling you after that? Wow, he isn't just from the Land of the Clueless, he's the ruler!
Yamaha Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 what a freaken azz And you first thought he was a keeper....
tami-chan Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 ...Wow, he isn't just from the Land of the Clueless, he's the ruler! :lmao:!!! good one , Angel!
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 And you first thought he was a keeper.... I know..
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 20, 2010 Author Posted February 20, 2010 Well, I guess that answers your question about the chemistry thing. I like your come-back if you ever talk to him again. I mean, what guy in this world thinks it's a good thing to tell a woman that he forgot about her? If he was just being a jerk, I might get it. But to keep calling you after that? Wow, he isn't just from the Land of the Clueless, he's the ruler! .....................
Ruby Slippers Posted February 20, 2010 Posted February 20, 2010 Yeah. Not a keeper. Too bad. But I know you won't be lonely over it.
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