melissa123 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Hey all First of all happy new year! I hope 2010 is good to you all Secondly I need some serious advice!! I have been seeing this guy from uni, nothing to serious have just been on a few dates so far. However on those dates and just in general this guy has been an absolute gentleman. He has gone to extra mile to see that im happy, paid for everything and just did all the small things like pulling my chair out for me etc. He is a shy guy so nothing physical has gone on between us. Its only gone as far as a hand on the back when we were walking home as I was cold. He is (or was) such a sweet guy and I was so happy to finally be treated well. ANYWAY Tonight (for me) is new years, I was with my friends and he was with his. I gave him a txt around 10ish to see if he wanted to meet up and he was replying fine so I assumed he wasn't to drunk etc. When I did finally catch up with him it was another story. He was so drunk he could barley walk straight. We went to a party with my friends and he literally would not get off me.He was grabbing my ass and telling me he wanted me right now right here etc. He had completely drapped himself over me and wouldnt get off. I did not want to sleep with him in that state so i said no, but he refused to take that for an answer. He kept coming at me and grabbing me inappropriatly. I was literally having to fight him off me. In the end a few male friends had to step in a pull him off me. I told him I was going to call him a taxi and speak to him in the morning but he refused and said he was going home with me. He was asking for sex so much and drapping himself all over me so much that the thought of him rapping me even crossed my mind. In the end I got so upset with it that I had to call my mum and have her pick me up and drop him home (I couldn't just leave him at a party in that state when he knew no one besides me) So here I am at home (still slightly drunk so please excuse the spelling) confused out of my mind. I have never ever seen someone change so much under the influence of alcohol. He went from being the sweetest, shyest guy to an absolute creep who ruined my night. So what on earth do I do from here? I reeeally liked him before tonight and was really interested in being with him but now im so creeped out. He will no doubt wake up and txt me soon so what do I do? Do I let it go and continue seeing him? and Did I do anything wrong?? Help!!
kimflute26 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Um... no, dont see him again. And dont reply to the texts either....
Author melissa123 Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Really? Because before tonight I had never meet such a sweet guy. Everyone I know thinks very highly of him and I have never ever seen him act even remotly close to that before. Im confused and upset about it all Do you think im over reacting here?
New Again Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 You're not overreacting, his behavior was terrible! It shouldn't even be a question
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 This guy's bad news. Just because he acted like this drunk doesn't mean those tendencies don't exist in his sober state (you likely just haven't known him long enough to see any major problems yet when he is sober). Alcohol, to SOME degree, unleashes latent desires. In this case, it sounds like he may have some control/self-entitlement issues. I'd stay away.
sumdude Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 People who change that radically under the influence send up flags for me. I can see getting a little more aggressive etc but he was over the top. It could be he has little experience drinking but I'd still be wary. Imagine in the future.. do you really want to hear "well sorry i was drunk' as an excuse for especially bad behavior?
Crazy Magnet Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Oh, I wouldn't go near that guy again. I can see many embarrassing nights in your future every time he decides to get drunk. Plus any guy who doesn't stop when a woman says "no" doesn't deserve a woman. End of story.
amymarieca Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Who cares if he was nice and sweet before? Anyone can be nice when you first meet them, even serial killers. This guy is obviously bad news and needs to lay off the alcohol!
mortensorchid Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Don't see him again. There are a lot of people out there who claim "Jekyll & Hyde" personalities when alcohol is involved, but that's not true. Alcohol gives people freedom to do and say what they REALLY want or what they feel. This guy is a loser. I would, for one, never show up drunk to meet my new bf's friends no matter what the night. If he tries to contact you to apologize, don't take his call or respond to him. Hopefully he will learn his lesson and straiten up after that. But if not, that's not your problem.
InspiredbyYou Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Wow sorry to hear you had to go through this, how horrible! You should not see him again, when he calls explain to him that his behavior was completely out of line and suggest to him that he check himself in to an alcohol rehab program he clearly has a drinking problem. Some alcoholics have dual personalities, they are great when they don't drink and then turn into monsters when they do. Don't see him again, you are lucky you were around people who cared for you, imagine if this happened to you alone with him....yikes!
Johnny M Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 (edited) Really? Because before tonight I had never meet such a sweet guy. Everyone I know thinks very highly of him and I have never ever seen him act even remotly close to that before. Im confused and upset about it all Do you think im over reacting here? Alcohol has a funny effect on some people....it's not unusual for totally normal guys/girls to act like complete idiots when intoxicated. If he is indeed a stand up guy, he'll call you tomorrow and apologize. I wouldn't end the relationship just because of this one incident, unless getting sh*tfaced like that is a common practice for this fellow. Edited January 1, 2010 by Johnny M
Mary3 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 He was having a * Black Out * consuming so much alcohol that he will NEVER remember that night. And Black Outs usually belong to alcoholics...Can't hold their liquor..Consume far too much . The brain goes whack... Speaking of Liquor , thats what alcohol is = Liquid Courage....
Author melissa123 Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Thankyou so much for your replies everyone! To answer a few of the questions I have been out with him drinking before (when we were just friends) and he was absolutly fine, very quiet and respectful. As long as I have been friends with him (about a year) he has hardly been out drinking. He has not contacted me at all today , to be honest i was at the very least execting an apology. Anyway I no I will be seeing him tomorrow as he will be coming into my work for a few appointments so any suggestions on what to do?
Yukikazi Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I take it it hasn't occurred to anyone that perhaps his drink was.. tampered with or something? If he has been drinking and well behaved before, then the chances of him doing a 180 are slim.. he would be too controlling to let that happen. Wait to see what he says.. assuming he has the guts to contact you again.. I'm sure if he does remember what happened he may not call you out of embarrassment.
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