Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I was doing some shopping today, for food over the New Year's period, and this young teenager intentionally pushed a bunch of trollies into me whilst I was walking into the shop! He said "sorry", but he smiled as he said it. I said, "Watch where you're going, stupid little pr*ck." (His pushing trollies into me was deliberate, so I'm justified with such a response.) Then I go into the store and buy my groceries, and the cashier at the "checkout" register is snarling at me. The whole time she was serving me her mouth was lopsided. However, she was polite. But it's not what they say that counts. What counts is their bodylanguage. That is how one tells how others' feel about them. Bodylanguage is often subconscious. So I'm polite in return, although I felt like giving her a mouthful. What would you people have done?
anne1707 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Are you sure it's not you that is the bad mood and every one else is OK? Why would the teenager run into you deliberately? Was the checkout lady really snarling? Yet you say he was smiling and apologetic whilst she was polite. All seems a bit extreme to me.
betamanlet Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Are you sure it's not you that is the bad mood and every one else is OK? Why would the teenager run into you deliberately? Was the checkout lady really snarling? Yet you say he was smiling and apologetic whilst she was polite. All seems a bit extreme to me. People tend to be lazy, negligent, and self asorbed while grocery shopping, but usually not deliberate.. So I agree with you. It really pisses me off how people manage to block the entire aisle, seeing yo u, realizing you want to pass, yet they don't let you. Like I came there to watch them shop?
dnm Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 yes, looks like you were just in a bad mood. Oh, and why is this in the dating forum?
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Are you sure it's not you that is the bad mood and every one else is OK? Why would the teenager run into you deliberately? No. I was fine. This kid saw me in the way of the trollies and deliberately tried to injure me. He smiled because he knew what he did and was proud of it. Was the checkout lady really snarling? Yes. What else would you call one side of the mouth curled upward toward the nose? Yet you say he was smiling and apologetic whilst she was polite. Yes. Had he been impudent with me he knew there would have been a sh*t storm coming, thus he played it off as an accident. Also, many people can be polite whilst displaying negative bodylanguage. Bodylanguage is often performed subconsciously, whilst one's voice can be better controlled, thus I go by what people show to me with bodylanguage, rather than by what they verbally say. Oh, and why is this in the dating forum? You're right. It probably shouldn't be.
bayouboi Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 People tend to be lazy, negligent, and self asorbed while grocery shopping, but usually not deliberate.. So I agree with you. It really pisses me off how people manage to block the entire aisle, seeing yo u, realizing you want to pass, yet they don't let you. Like I came there to watch them shop? That's never a problem for me because I look directly at them and say rather loudly "EXCUSE ME!" and give them a look like the OP's cashier. There is no "don't let me get through" because if that ever doesn't work, I'm ramming my cart headlong through theirs for being inconsiderate.
bayouboi Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Yes. What else would you call one side of the mouth curled upward toward the nose? It could be her natural disposition. I, for example, find that I have a hard time smiling because of the way my mouth has grown. This makes me look like I'm always angry, but I'm not.
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 It could be her natural disposition. No, it isn't. The 2 people being served before me got "normal" looks (i.e. blank looks and even smiles)... then I come along and get this nasty look. I really felt like saying, "What the f**k is your problem, girl?"
Tony T Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I was doing some shopping today, for food over the New Year's period, and this young teenager intentionally pushed a bunch of trollies into me whilst I was walking into the shop! He said "sorry", but he smiled as he said it. I said, "Watch where you're going, stupid little pr*ck." (His pushing trollies into me was deliberate, so I'm justified with such a response.) Then I go into the store and buy my groceries, and the cashier at the "checkout" register is snarling at me. The whole time she was serving me her mouth was lopsided. However, she was polite. But it's not what they say that counts. What counts is their bodylanguage. That is how one tells how others' feel about them. Bodylanguage is often subconscious. So I'm polite in return, although I felt like giving her a mouthful. What would you people have done? I think I would seriously look in the mirror. MOST, the majority, of the people NEVER have the problems you describe.
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 I think I would seriously look in the mirror. What do you mean? Do you mean it literally, that I'm so hideous that such a response is warranted from these people? I disagree. I've slept with some attractive girls (albeit not many).
temple Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 What do you mean? Do you mean it literally, that I'm so hideous that such a response is warranted from these people? I disagree. I've slept with some attractive girls (albeit not many). Um, no I think what the poster means is that you are probably projecting your (clear) inner anger into your outward appearance.
theBrokenMuse Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Um, no I think what the poster means is that you are probably projecting your (clear) inner anger into your outward appearance. I agree. Don't get me wrong, I am all for misanthropy however, if someone changes their demeanor upon seeing you, unless they know you and personally dislike you, you are glaringly different looking then normal or they are some kind of bigot, chances are it's because of vibes you are sending off.
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Marek, what you describe is totally unusual. Do you have an unusual appearance that may generate prejudice or strange reactions? Do you say things that generate certain responses? Are you the kind of person who looks extremely pissed off all the time? Do you constantly curse under your breath and send off vibes of "DAMN IT everything sucks, I am so angry"? It may also be the case that you misinterpreted that woman's "snarl" or that the teenager pushing the trolleys at you was a mistake. I've been rammed into before with carts (I even have a scar on the back of my right heel because of one particular incident where I got totally gouged) but it's almost always an accident resultant of people not watching where they are going.
betamanlet Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Customer service has gone downhill in the US. But visit japan, it's the opposite. I remember when I used to work at the grocery store, we had to greet customers, wear a shirt and tie, count the money back at them, offer them plastic or paper, were required to make at least some kind of conversation. Now I'm lucky if they even look at you and don't curse and tell jokes with the other cashiers...
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Do you have an unusual appearance that may generate prejudice or strange reactions? I don't think so. I judge my appearance on girls I've slept with. And since all but one of those girls was attractive, I figure I too must be attractive. (Because they certainly didn't sleep with me for my endearing charm.) Do you say things that generate certain responses? Yeah, sure. However, I've never spoken with these people at the shopping centre. Are you the kind of person who looks extremely pissed off all the time? I've been told I look depressed on occasion. And on even lesser occasions I've been told that I look angry. In general, however, I don't walk around with a smile plastered on my face, I look just like everyone else --solemn. And again, this kid with the trollies... it was no mistake. He saw I was in front of those trollies and wanted to injure me. He wanted to do that. He thought I was too weak to fight back, but then I gave him that mouthful...
espec10001 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 You are probably sending out negative vibes. I can sense the negativity in your posts. You shouldn't be surprised that people respond in a negative way. Often times the world we see is a reflection of our inner state.
Bejita463 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 And again, this kid with the trollies... it was no mistake. He saw I was in front of those trollies and wanted to injure me. He wanted to do that. He thought I was too weak to fight back, but then I gave him that mouthful... He wanted to injure you. With a grocery cart. So you showed you weren't too weak to fight back by mouthing off. I am not trying to be insulting here, but are you aware of how ridiculous you sound? Saying "he did it on purpose!" is relatively juvenile, and perhaps the type of person who mouths off to a kid and calls him a prick is projecting an attitude that doesn't make cashiers want to deal with him.
carhill Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Customer service has gone downhill in the US. But visit japan, it's the opposite. I remember when I used to work at the grocery store, we had to greet customers, wear a shirt and tie, count the money back at them, offer them plastic or paper, were required to make at least some kind of conversation. Now I'm lucky if they even look at you and don't curse and tell jokes with the other cashiers... You'll still find friendly smiling faces in small towns, like where I live, and the store owner/manager is right there with employees pushing trolleys and greeting customers. I've found the service in Japan and other Asian countries to be efficient and professional, but distant. There is also the dynamic of 'saving face', which can sometimes be difficult to navigate. I am a bit shocked the OP would use the 'P' word with a person out in the real world with others around. If an incident escalates and emotions get involved, I guess I could see it, but right out of the gate tells me someone was looking for a fight. I'm trying to imagine calling a young lady employee the 'C' word and how that would reflect upon myself. Hmm...
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 He wanted to injure you. With a grocery cart. So you showed you weren't too weak to fight back by mouthing off. I am not trying to be insulting here, but are you aware of how ridiculous you sound? Saying "he did it on purpose!" is relatively juvenile, and perhaps the type of person who mouths off to a kid and calls him a prick is projecting an attitude that doesn't make cashiers want to deal with him. Ok, Einstein. If someone clearly sees you in their path, yet pushes forward with their trollies, it's deliberate. The look on this kid's face gave it away that it was deliberate, that it was malicious. You don't apologise with a smirk on your face; that shows insincerity. I'm a good reader of bodylanguage; I can gauge how people feel through it. (Of course, I get it wrong at times. But more often than not, I get it right.)
littlebittle Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 This is a tiny bit long, but I think it would be a good read for you: http://goaheadsueme.blogspot.com/2005/05/david-foster-wallace-at-kenyon-college.html Enjoy
espec10001 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Ok, Einstein. If someone clearly sees you in their path, yet pushes forward with their trollies, it's deliberate. The look on this kid's face gave it away that it was deliberate, that it was malicious. You don't apologise with a smirk on your face; that shows insincerity. I'm a good reader of bodylanguage; I can gauge how people feel through it. (Of course, I get it wrong at times. But more often than not, I get it right.) Let it slide man, just chill out. It isn't worth getting all worked up over. It's just some young mischievous kid.
anne1707 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The fact that you are getting so wound up here does still make me think you saw things in the behaviour of others that is not really there. Why on earth would the teenager deliberately ram the trollies in to you? It just does not make sense.
littlebittle Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 This is a tiny bit long, but I think it would be a good read for you: http://goaheadsueme.blogspot.com/2005/05/david-foster-wallace-at-kenyon-college.html Enjoy BTW, in case it wasn't clear, that's a link to David Foster Wallace's Commencement Speech at Kenyon College, May 21, 2005. I recommend that everyone give it a read.
Author Marek Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 The fact that you are getting so wound up here does still make me think you saw things in the behaviour of others that is not really there. Why on earth would the teenager deliberately ram the trollies in to you? It just does not make sense. He works at the grocery store I regular. He has eyed me off recently. For whatever reason, he doesn't like me. So he did this little trolley gig as a way to physically show his aversion. (Because sometimes smirks and snarls aren't enough; you gotta physically hurt those you dislike [at least that's the mentality of many])
anne1707 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 He works at the grocery store I regular. He has eyed me off recently. For whatever reason, he doesn't like me. So he did this little trolley gig as a way to physically show his aversion. (Because sometimes smirks and snarls aren't enough; you gotta physically hurt those you dislike [at least that's the mentality of many]) Is that the way you think?
Recommended Posts