Silent-Night Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 (edited) To cut a long story short, met a girl with two kids lived with her for a year. Lied about alot of stuff (I know I'm a dick). She met somebody new so I went NC for 5 months to work on myself. But the thing is that for the past 5 months weird things have been going on. Mysterious private ID calls on my house phone (she is the only person that has it, everybody else calls me on my cell or leaves a message). Her friends, daughter have sent me text messages every month and half or so not really saying anything. Then about two weeks ago she started sending romantic songs (better than drugs by skillet etc) music I listen to. Basically she sent me 14 songs in one week and the mystery phone calls started again but more intense. This is were we enter the Twilight Zone LOL. Christmas Eve I get a text the first in months saying 'Have a good Xmas' therefore I replied with 'You 2'. She then replies with 'I wanted to spend Xmas with you and your family this year, but...' WTF!!! So last night she's on MSN so I go online and am talking with my mates and she starts talking WTF!!! X2. She says she would like to chat so we did for 2 hours we covered new jobs new man in her life moving in with her and that. She says that it is pathetic that we cannot communicate as a couple correctly WTF!!! X3. I said do you want to go for a meal sometime she says some pretty weird things like 'I don't like hiding things from people' and she is not ready to be physically in front of me yet. To this I replied OK but what are we doing online then if we can't see eachother. The all of a sudden she says Monday 12 o'clock and the location WTF!!! X4. Now why would she do this? It seems that she has been preparing for this instant for 5 months ever so discreetly. Any input guys would be great because I dissapeared out of her life so she could be with her new guy but everyone around me says be very careful. Edited December 31, 2009 by Silent-Night
TwoForgiving Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I would run from this - sounds like you found a real nutter.
lostboyuk Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Assume you haven't responded over the last few months and been getting on with you time? My only thought would be, right now before you do or say anything else, sit yourself down and THINK about this deeply. Where you were, where you are now and where (positively or negatively) this could leave you. Far too many WTFs in there for you to take action without thinking.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 This is doing my head in. I have bettered myself in so many areas of my life. I cannot fathom why somebody who apparently is happy and going to move in with her new bf would do something like this. Close friends who have supported me from the start have warned me that she is trying to get us back together but I cannot see that happening. It's funny but my mother said that this story was never over she always said 'you two love each other so much'. I must say I tend to agree with what she is saying.
lostboyuk Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 You have to remember what you've done for you and make a choice then. Many will simply say move on and NC but it seems you're really struggling here mate. Do what I said previous, sit yourself down and think. Was it worth it Is it worth it how bad could I end up if this carries on how bad could I end up if we got back together etc then try to choose what YOU want to do next, not what she wants. There may bemore but my thoughts are you have 2 choices. 1. Tell her to stop contacting you in any way and move on 2. Ask her why she is doing this, get your understanding and then decide what to do. You can't go on like this, I know I'm there for diff reasons, I spent 3 months of ups and downs, not knowing what the hell was going on, told me she loved me then went quiet.....absolute torture! Now, this time I feel it's over although she came back big time a few weeks ago, it hurts more than before but at least I can have some kind of stability in my head.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Weird things that i dont like about this: 1. She initiated contact after 7 months. 2. She wanted to meet, but when she found out that I was going on dates suddenly did a 360 on the whole lets meet gig. 3. She wanted to know where I lived now (I was very vague) she wanted to know the adress. 4. She asked wether I was going out with friends etc. I replied yes and having friends over for drinks to my new flat etc. Then she had the balls to say to me 'well it seems like you are very selective about who comes over to your place' meaning her. This is where I stand today. Yes I am enjoying life, yes I have found a great new job do what I love most (drawing). Yes I have been on several dates where it got physical. Yes I do think about her, but not obsessively. Would I take her back possibly if we managed to overcome the issues in the past. Frankly I miss her as a person/ lover but I am actively dating and enjoying it so it isn't a problem for me. My mates says she's obviously not happy with her new bf if not should would not pursue me for months. I also feel sorry for the new bf because she sent me very suggestive songs like 'your better than drugs', 'it must have been love', 'comatose' and 'how to save a life'. She left me in pieces (mainly my fault) I picked myself up and rebuilt my whole life. I think the fact that she doesn't think people can change but it obviously affects her that I have changed (I even wear a suit for work Lol). Advice would be great guys especially from the ladies because I have never ever ever had this happen in the past with ex and I usually do not meet up with ex gf but she is different and so am I because we discussed this together during our relationship and she said she never went back to meet an ex bf.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 1. Yes it was worth it I messed up not her. 2. Possibly depending on alot of variables. 3. I'm taking it as it comes mate simply because I am enjoying life immensly right now. Of course it hurts and makes me wonder but she no longer makes me wobbly lol.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 I really need your thoughts on this ladies and gents.
DenverBachelor Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 (edited) Was she good in bed? Rate her ability to go bat-**** psycho on a scale of 1 to 10 (call this variable P) Rate how good she was in bed on a scale of 1 to 10. (call this variable S) Use the following formula: If S = 10 then keep playing the game. If S > P then proceed with caution. If S = P then go NC. If S < P then run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Edited January 2, 2010 by DenverBachelor
Author Silent-Night Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 (edited) Yes we were both great together in bed lol. Why this magic equation. No i'm not doing this for the sex. Edited January 2, 2010 by Silent-Night
DenverBachelor Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 Yes we were both great together in bed lol. Why this magic equation Because you have to determine if its worth handling the amount of psycho she could hand down to you. She sounds like a solid 9 in that department. So she had better be really amazing in bed. I mean a woman who crawls up the walls, scribbles new positions in the Kama Sutra book, makes you want it more than steak and beer, etc.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 What makes you believe she is Psycho? I messed up with my lies decided to admit everything basically committing verbal Seppuku. I have learnt my lesson and moved on. I want to go Monday for ME not for her and certainly not out of curiosity. If she was so happy with her new BF why all the tactics? Why not just come out and say 'I miss you'.
DenverBachelor Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 What makes you believe she is Psycho? I messed up with my lies decided to admit everything basically committing verbal Seppuku. I have learnt my lesson and moved on. I want to go Monday for ME not for her and certainly not out of curiosity. If she was so happy with her new BF why all the tactics? Why not just come out and say 'I miss you'. You can't give yourself 100% of the blame. You may have approached it wrong, but I'm sure she did something to get you to that point. She sounds a bit off. Weird calls, texts, etc. Wanting your new address. It just seems like too much, too quickly.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 Can you elaborate on 'too much too quickly' please.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 2, 2010 Author Posted January 2, 2010 (edited) This going from wierd to weirder. Her son just sent me a happy new years message the last I heard from him was the night of the breakup. Sorry I just need to get my head around this. Another thing she said was 'we both have stable lives now, we shouldn't do this' (BIG RED FLAG). Anyone else think that was a very weird thing to say? Edited January 2, 2010 by Silent-Night
Author Silent-Night Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 I have an update for you all. She cancelled monday but said next monday but I couldn't make it. Oh yeah the mysterious phone calls have started again. Please give me some insight guys.
singlegirl Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I may be wrong but to me it seems as though she wants you to go bang on her door, declare your undying love....From what you have said I don't really think you want her that much...Don't hurt her all over again...You said you were mostly at fault for the break up, swallow that like a man. Walk away and leave her to her own life... IMHO she's throwing out huge green lights but only you will be roesponsible if you act on that
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I may be wrong but to me it seems as though she wants you to go bang on her door, declare your undying love... Yes, and make sure the guy living with her will give her that message should she not be home...
Author Silent-Night Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 What gives you the impression that she wants me to go see her. Why doesn't she just come out and say 'I need to see you'.
RedDevil66 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Man, what is it with games?! Just call her up and say "What do you want?" I mean I am sure she's hurt because you lied and doesn't trust you but still cares about you and is feeling out the waters now, but really now! There is a song that says "if you want love, then just ask for love" Call her up and ask her what she wants
Author Silent-Night Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) I hurt this girl I admit. But I don't want to f***k her around again or her new boyfriend or her kids. I have bettered my life alot and would love nothing more than to be with her and the kids again. I do not want to hurt her again!!! I vanished, held NC for both our benefits and certainly don't regret it. I needed these past months to work on myself. I just never ever ever thought this would happen, she was fairly explicit when we last talked. Edited January 5, 2010 by Silent-Night
Author Silent-Night Posted January 6, 2010 Author Posted January 6, 2010 Ok I have had enough of these mysterious phone calls happening since the break up 7th September-1st January (one every week). I have a friend who is a cop and he can find out the source of the calls for me. I have always left her and her family alone since the break up. But I have a gut feeling that it is her calling. I asked her over MSN and she denied it and got all pissed at me and I said that I wasn't accusing her, just asking. I can't stop asking myself questions about this whole thing.
Author Silent-Night Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 You guys probably think I am crazy or something but my police friend came back with some really nasty s**t about my ex gf. The mystery phone calls were made from her home. But he also discovered that she is under investigation (he refused to tell me why). I called her on friday (the first time in months) to give her a chance to tell me that it is her and what is it that she wants. She denied everything. I went today to press charges against the mystery caller (my police mate technically wasnt allowed to tell me). The officer said that he will start investigating the calls but that this will probably end up in court. I am sad, scared and frankly lost at the moment because I strongly believe she has landed herself in deep s**t and that the attempts to reach out to me were in fact cries for help. I just don't know what to do. I dread the thought of ending up in court with her. I can't go on asking myself all these questions. Also her son has contacted my mum again via MSN. Sorry guys I just needed to get all this off my chest.
Author Silent-Night Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Okay I have a very important update for you all. So my current girlfriend got sick of the house phone ringing with restricted numbers so without me knowing she called a couple of exes who happen to be cops to find out at least who is making these mystery calls. So last friday she admits to me that she has proof that she knows who is calling I say WTF. She explains that she had lunch with a cop friend and that the first question he asks is your boyfriend still in contact with his ex WTF? She asks why and the cop gives her a file with all the restricted calls and guess what my ex girlfriends name, adress, house and cell number with exactly the same dates. WTF!!! As if that was not enough he tells her to continue reading the file. OH MY F***ing LIFE!!! My ex has spent time in hospital last September because her boyfriend beat the **** out of her. The abuse continued in December. The guy is living with her because he has the same adress as her (the same I had when we lived together). This guy is under police/ state investigation for drugs and my ex is involved with this. When my girl told me this I nearly threw up, I always knew that it was her calling deep down inside. I knew she was in trouble. I do not blame my current girlfriend for doing what she did because she is a very cool lady. I cannot abide men who beat women!!! I hate drugs because I lost a very dear friend when I was in college to that filth. I have had the shakes since she told me all this and I would help my ex to get out of this mess. Any advice would be great.
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