ant0255 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Well, my ex and I broke up in July, she was in an abusive relationship ior to dating me and even though things were ggoing great for us, her ex decided to pop back into the picture and screw things up. Because of this we decided to sbreakup so that she could deal with her emotions and the like. We have since remained friends, we workout at the same gym and have mutual friends. Well Last month and into early December, she had suddenly started talking to me more outside of the gym. She would call and text me randomly and it was great. She talked about a future with me doing things we did back when we were dating. I started to believe that there was a chance. I did not want to blow it so going with the advice of one of our friends I took it slow. I spent the day with her at her parents, we watched a movie and she cuddled up on my shoulder, another time she called and asked if i could driver her car back to a friends house where she was babysitting thier dogs, i ended up staying the night and she used my lap as a pillow and held my hand. We talked about going to see a movie and unfortunately she got really sick and couldnt go, no biggy, I went out with her and her friends on her birthday. Now this is where things get wierd at least for me. I talk to her and ask her if she still wanted to see a movie. We end up seeing a movie having a good time. She texts me later that night saying she had a great time. Well the next day I see her at the gym and even with her bad knee she pushed through the workout. I sent her a text later saying good job. I got nothing back, no big deal, well I didnt hear anything back for several days. Well last wednesday at my buddy's wedding I find out that she is dating some other guy. Not exactly what i wanted to hear on such great day. What made it even harder was that her and I were in the wedding and i walked her down the Isle. Now, let me be clear, i'm not mad that she is dating someone, but the fact that I feel she led me on. Maybe I'm stupid for letting it happen, but I loved this girl and I still do even after hearing this. I saw her yesterday at the gym and I was beat from the workout and she was talking to me and I was kinda of you know what to her. To make matters worse my friend talked to her about it after I had left and she asked if that was why I was being an ass to her. That kinda of pissed me off even more because I dont want to go that route and lose her completly. I didnt ask him to do that and i know he did as a friend but come on. Anyway I didnt see her today, but I am at a loss of what to do. I have sat around and dwelled on our break up, ive gone out there and dated other woman and had fun. Do I try to win her back, if so how do i go about doing it? I am open to any suggestions and I appreciate your taking the time to read this.
DustySaltus Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The best course of action is to have a conversation with her that would go something like this: "I just want you to know that I am not upset with you and I just want you to be happy. However, at this point it is hard for me to be friends with someone I have feelings for. Maybe down the line things will change but for now I think it's best for me to take a step back and work on myself". Unless you are ok with being her friend which can be very tricky....
travelbug Posted January 2, 2010 Posted January 2, 2010 If you really love this girl, tell her. If you want to reconcile and date again, tell her. Talk it through. If she says no to you after she knows how you feel, you will need to decide if you can handle just being her friend. If not, tell her that and walk away. If you can, then go for it. Sometimes getting closer as friends after a break up eventually leads back into a relationship (it happened to me). Sitting back and watching her in another relationship could be torture for you, but you just never know what the future will bring. Based on her behavior, I'd say she still has feelings for you...
Author ant0255 Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 Thats the hard part, taalking to her about it. I've never had to deal with something like this before and to be honest it sucks. Just when I think im over it, it comes back full circle. If you dont mind me asking, how should I go about talking to her about it?
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