Justburself Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 My heart is beyond heavy. After 3 months of NC, the last few days have been like it happen just yestreday. I've done all I can to try and return to the former me. But nothing seems to fill this void she left. I still feel half a man, s**t half a human. What is this she has done to me? What is this I let her do to me? She has left for my so-called-best friend with no regard of the shell of a person that's behind her. 6eff'n years I invested in our love.. And she threw me away like I was nothing to her, when she was my all. Love has taught me another lesson.. But my fear is I will never allow myself to let anyone this close ever again. So again,I wish I could cry.. It honestly would bring the relief, but I can't..
tVII Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 wow man. my hearts out to you especially during the holidays. but new years resolution: join a gym. get a good bod aiming for the summertime. and research the hell out of this. what to eat, what workouts, cardio times, and alll that. just stay busy. you'll get through it.
Author Justburself Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Yeah bud, appreciate that.. But not to sound like a as*****, done all that.. Ran a half marathon here in SF on Nov 1st.. Got a new job that keeps me more then occupied.. But honestly, the longer I tried to ignore the hurt, the more it seems to linger. But thank you. Beyond the standard answers to this pain. Don't know what else I can do
tVII Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 no offense taken. just remember its a process. there is no magic quote or line that will make you feel better. your body is going through motions (which i like to call 'utter bulls***', hurry the f*** up sometimes lol). but keeping yourself busy helps just ignore it. ya ignoring ur problems and all. but really ur keeping urself busy till your not so emotional anymore and when you're not emotional then your intelligence comes in and goes: "ah! back from vacation, ahhhh! wtf happened ere'? and then it saves the day slowly by you thinking more rationally and positive and all that. so right now stay busy and go through the motions. long post haha but trying to get my view to ya. oh and think positive. positive positive positive positive. ill give you one: im going to the gym tommaz and im gonna get a summer bod. yaaa repeat.
MetalguitarJames Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I can relate completely. My wife cheated on me with my so-called-friend on Thanksgiving and asked me for a divorce in the same day. I didn't know she had cheated. I didn't learn of it until after I moved in with my parents to get on my feet. She then said she wanted to get back together and move out here with me. She then changed her mind on Christmas day and moved him into my old house and is screwing him in my bed. I feel your pain man. This pain is never easy to get through. Sometimes you feel so empty inside....so dead....so painful. Nothing can really let you trust anyone again. I know that I won't for a very long time. I only have hope that once I land a job here and get a vehicle that things will look up. Sometimes we question whether or not hope will get us through any of it. You've been with that person so long that going to bed and waking up alone just makes it worse. Our routines have been completely destroyed. Everything reminds us of them. And for some crazy ass reason we can't just not love them anymore. We start to remember the amazing times we had with them. How much we trusted them with everything.....our souls. Then to be betrayed it hurts that much more. We've been betrayed in more way than one......By our close friend that we always though would never do such a thing to us......and our significant other. It hurts even more when they have no remorse for what they've done. All we can do is just go on with the hope and notion that their relationship was built on a house of lies and deceit and it will fall. That they will someday feel the pain that they put us through. I wish that we could just be cold hearted bastards but we aren't. We wear our hearts on our sleeves and that leaves us open to manipulation on both ends. I don't know what we can do to get over it completely. Hell, I don't know if we ever will get over it completely.....All I can wish for is to someday feel love again without paranoia of betrayal. My heart goes out to you man it really does. I'm experiencing the same thing. I spent 8 years with my wife and we got married very young. We are totally different people now. I know that but it still doesn't take the pain away. Nothing excuses being cheated on. People are heartless and always will be. We just can't believe that everyone is this way because if we do then we will never have a chance. James
Bulldozed Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I feel what you're going through. No easy answers. My ex-gf left me so she could go screw her "former" best friends ex-husband. One of my parting shots at her was if one of my good friends (mind you she was this chics maid of honor) tried consoling my ex after I split up w/her then dumped his gf so he could start bangin' my ex, he'd be picking his teeth up off the ground. Classless move, regardless of the gender. Though it does appear from the woman I've spoken with that it's easier for women to **** on a friendship than it is for a guy to screw over one of his bro's....? who knows.....hang in there, you're a fortunate man, as am I. We've saved and/or prevented ourselves from lasting pain, money and heartache.
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