virgin Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I met someone from CL, and I went out on a few dates with her. I was very honest about myself in the ad, stating I'm a virgin and have anxiety. She told me she is asexual and probably somewhat similar to myself in that way. She was in college 13 years(various degrees), and has over 200K in debt. We have much in common intellectually. She has a job in retail now(manager) and tutors college students. She is 35. She texts and calls me all the time, she seems very interested. She told me she doesn't click with many guys. She asked me to do her some favors and lend her money, I may do it because I don't want her to leave me. I work on cars and she needs serious work done on her car, her car is undriveable now and her dad is taking her to work. She lives with her parents. I'm not sure what attraction is but I think I click with her. I'm pretty desperate for friendship, not sure what to do . She told me she is interested in marriage and children in the future.
monkey00 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I met someone from CL, and I went out on a few dates with her. I was very honest about myself in the ad, stating I'm a virgin and have anxiety. She told me she is asexual and probably somewhat similar to myself in that way. She was in college 13 years(various degrees), and has over 200K in debt. We have much in common intellectually. She has a job in retail now(manager) and tutors college students. She is 35. She texts and calls me all the time, she seems very interested. She told me she doesn't click with many guys. She asked me to do her some favors and lend her money, I may do it because I don't want her to leave me. I work on cars and she needs serious work done on her car, her car is undriveable now and her dad is taking her to work. She lives with her parents. I'm not sure what attraction is but I think I click with her. I'm pretty desperate for friendship, not sure what to do . She told me she is interested in marriage and children in the future. Just say no. She may not have emotional baggage, but the financial baggage is a horrible red flag. They are users and can and will leech of those who they are able to.
Vintage79 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 You're seriously contemplating giving money to someone who've only met a few times? The whole scenario sounds like a major, major red flag, and that you're the targeted victim. If she cared about you, she wouldn't be asking for money - maybe help her with her car, since that's your thing, but at least make her pay for the cost of the parts (just give her your time - and make her help you - it would be a bonding experience)...don't be taken advantage of this early. At this point, you should be able to say no to handing out money without damaging the potential relationship. If it damages the relationship, she was playing you for a sucker.
Author virgin Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 You're seriously contemplating giving money to someone who've only met a few times? The whole scenario sounds like a major, major red flag, and that you're the targeted victim. If she cared about you, she wouldn't be asking for money - maybe help her with her car, since that's your thing, but at least make her pay for the cost of the parts (just give her your time - and make her help you - it would be a bonding experience)...don't be taken advantage of this early. At this point, you should be able to say no to handing out money without damaging the potential relationship. If it damages the relationship, she was playing you for a sucker. I'm going to talk to her again tomorrow.
BUENG1 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I'm going to talk to her again tomorrow. She's clearly using you. Don't let people take advantage of you, no matter what.
lordWilhelm Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Not only is she using you, but she said she's "asexual", so you're going to get nothing in return! Walk out on this one, or at least stamp your foot in the ground before it gets much worse.
Vertex Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Major red flags here. Don't open up that can of worms.
Author virgin Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 She's clearly using you. Don't let people take advantage of you, no matter what. I'm pretty desperate
thegreatmoose Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 She asked me to do her some favors and lend her money, I may do it because I don't want her to leave me. Do NOT lend her money. If she wants you to do her favors, you should ask that she does favors for you in return. It looks like she's trying to take advantage of you.
dazzle22 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Her asking for money at this stage in your friendship is a red flag. You may feel desperate, but do you want to feel desperate, used and then dumped...?
carhill Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Is there a troll flag? WTH, give her the money. Don't ever, ever work on her car
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