Saudade Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I sent an email on here just before Christmas. I was the girl who got dumped in a text before Christmas. He told me never to contact him again which is what I am doing. He hasn't contacted me either. I just cannot leave it on that note, it's killing me. I am such a nice person and believe no relationship that meant something to you should be left in such a cold brutal way. I am so tempted to send an email, just to wish him luck in life ect I know we can't get back together, I could never trust someone who would dump me in a text, but for my own self I feel the need to write this email. I would like honest answers on this please, because if all of you think it is the wrong thing to do then I don't think I'll send it. I don't know my own mind at the moment. Would it be the worst thing I could do and deep down am I trying to save it even though I'm kidding myself I wouldn't go there again. You guys know the story, you know how this hell feels. That text broke my heart.
CarrieT Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Write it out. In full. Spill your guts and invoke all of the good wishes that you wish to share. But don't hit send. You have been told not to contact him and doing so (whether for good or for ill), will fall on deaf ears and not benefit you or him in any fashion.
gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Well I don't think it's the worse thing you can do, but it will be extremely detrimental to your healing. Although it feels like hell now, your are already beginning on your journey through the healing process. Sending it will take you back to day one and believe me there is no point. Why not try writing down everything you want to say to him in this e-mail, putting into it everything your feeling right now, leave nothing out, but DON'T send it. Then what you do is read it all the way through, then remember how he treated you, LEAVING YOU BY TEXT !!! then delete the e-mail. I am feeling for you right now, good luck chuck x
WTRanger Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 If he dumped you via text then he doesn't deserve any wishes of luck. Unless, of course, you write the wish of luck in his car paint with your key. Total spineless move and he wants you to chase. That's what the whole don't contact me thing is designed to do. I can bet you in a few months he'll be the one to contact you. Then you can ignore him and realize you were better off without such a loser in your life.
Author Saudade Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Thank you so much, you have all managed to make me smile I knew that was the right answer, just needed to hear it from other people. Once again thank you. I would be lost without this site right now.
gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I would be lost without this site right now. I know the feeling.
trueblue72ny Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 that is cold and brutal. sorry to hear that someone said something like that to you. you didnt deserve to hear that. i bet it is hard to just let that one go, but i think you should. dont give him the satisfaction. you will just boost his ego, and yours will suffer.
Arabella Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Well, I don't know honestly. I got dumped the exact same way. I also couldn't let it be and a few days later I wrote him the nicest, most heart-felt letter I've ever written, telling him (among other things) that I wished him the best and that I'd always be his friend. After doing so, I felt at peace. Of course, the jerk turned out not to deserve any of it, but hey... it made me feel better. I don't regret it. I have it as a policy to never leave things unsaid ... even if it means writing emails or letters that will go unanswered. Do it if it will make YOU feel better. Just don't do it for him, because he doesn't deserve after how he treated you. Best of luck, Arabella
D-Lish Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Write it out. In full. Spill your guts and invoke all of the good wishes that you wish to share. But don't hit send. Couldn't agree more. Anytime I have EVER written a post break up e-mail has ended in regret. You never get the answer or response you want- ever. It's best not to send it, but it's totally therapeutic to write it.
LovelyDaze Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Don't. He said no contact so that would mean it should be his chess move next. It's like if you tell someone not to come into your room and the person outside just walks right on in anyway. You want him to be receptive to what you would have to say so let him contact you first. If you make it a point to feel like you have to fix what he broke then the whole thing will fail even more than it already has.
blackbear_703 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I'd suggest the old-fashioned method. Write (if possible don't type! haha) down everything you want to say to him on a piece of paper, take the letter to the nearest hilltop, tear it into a million pieces, and let them scatter in the wind. Convey all your feelings to him as you do this and when you walk away, let the wind soothe your soul. Know in your heart that sooner or later he'll feel your thoughts and feelings in his heart. Of course you can always do the e-mail thing, but IMO the old-fashioned method is much more therapeutic. But yeah, if you actually send an e-mail to him, you most likely either won't get a response or you'll get the same response I got from my ex a couple of weeks ago: "I'll read it later." This can send you right back to Day 1 and give him an ego boost. Don't give him the satisfaction. Good luck and Happy New Year! And remember that no matter how bad you feel now, things are gonna get better before you know it!
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