mortensorchid Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Not too long ago, I put a profile up on Match once again. I am now a seasoned pro and now can tell the good from the bad almost immediately. In the last few days, I got a wink from a man in his 40s (who I will call Golfer because that's part of his interests). I winked back at him, he wrote an email. After a few emails (which were not too heavy, staying lite and breezy) he asked if I wanted to talk on the phone. 24 hours later I said, via email, "Ok, here is my number _____. Call whenever you like". Within an hour of my sending him my number, he called me. I wasn't near the phone at the moment, and it rolled to voice mail. He said he'd like to know me and was looking forward to my calling him back. I had planned not to call him back until tomorrow, as I have plans tonight. About an hour ago, after my not calling him back as I stated, he sent me a text message asking "Are you busy?". Should I be wary of this? I'm trying to play it cool is all, but does he sound desperate? I will let all of you know if and when I return the call tomorrow.
alphamale Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I'm trying to play it cool is all, but does he sound desperate? yes, he does
datingsites Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Two ways of looking at I guess. Either one; he's desperate as you say.... ......or two he left a message, perhaps knew you were about (he could see you were online etc...) then became cautious that he left a bad message, you didn't like his voice, message was a bit dumb etc... so just dropped you a text. I think people like to play it nice easy and breezy, but I think many deep down have this sense of urgency and nervousness. Could just be this. Then again it could be point one and he's looking to propose at the end of the second date (maybe even the first )
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 i wouldnt let this throw up a flag...... give him a try. this online dating thing can be nerve racking for us dudes...
Rainman760 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) I don't quite get the lack of understanding of even the basics of dating with some of these guys I hear stories about like this. It's not like it's a huge mystery either; there are certain rough guidelines about calling/texting/emailing where if you abuse them you will come off as needy, desperate or insecure at best. I would say that this guy's insecurities are maybe driving the bus and he's overreaching and trying too hard, too early; and thus has you questioning his merits. Having said that, it all depends on your gut feeling about your communication so far and how much of a break your willing to offer this guy based on the stress factor that some folks get in OD. But I would keep my antennae perky... Because the last thing you want is a Bounce sheet that's just waitin' to jump on your sweater and CLING like there's no tomorrow! Edited December 30, 2009 by Rainman760
trueblue72ny Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 hard to say. he could just be anxious.
Author mortensorchid Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 UPDATE: Well, I decided to give him a call today, around 1 pm or so. Then, I see that he called my cell AGAIN while I was in the shower. 3 messages in less than 24 hours? I decided to at least return his call, and I did. I ... think we had an ok conversation. There were a few silences here and there, but I kept topics neutral and informational, which is only natural as I am, after all, chatting with a stranger. I ended the call saying "Well it was nice talking to you, and I hope we can chat again soon." He said the same. So, we'll see what we see I guess in that department. He didn't sound desperate, but then again talking to someone on the phone verses face to face is something else. So, we shall see what we see.
TheLoneSock Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The way the OP talks about the selection process she goes through and how carefully she walks on eggshells with the whole online dating thing makes me think; why the hell are you doing online dating if it's more akin to walking through a minefield, seriously? I don't get it. It sounds terrible the way she described it. Why not just stick to meeting people in person.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 The way the OP talks about the selection process she goes through and how carefully she walks on eggshells with the whole online dating thing makes me think; why the hell are you doing online dating if it's more akin to walking through a minefield, seriously? I don't get it. It sounds terrible the way she described it. Why not just stick to meeting people in person. Some areas are not as easy to meet people as others. I work in a town where, if I were meeting locals to date, I would not find anybody I'm remotely interested in. It's just not my "digs." The closest down-to-earth place around here is 42 miles away. Even then, the selection of people in my selected age group are most likely married, big partiers, or tourists. It's just not my thing. The two most recent men I have dated - one lives 116 miles away and the one I'm dating now lives 128 miles away. It's slim pickins around here. I met both of these men online. Do you live in an urban area, Lone? The full-time population of my town is less than 6,000, with the majority being older people. The population probably triples in high-season...but I have no interest in a fling with some tourist.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 3, 2010 Author Posted January 3, 2010 You HAVE TO walk on eggshells with people, LS. People are absolutely, positively CRAZY, you never know what others are about or what they are after. Best to be cautious. Especially after the the wackjobs I have met both online and in the real world.
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