Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Yes, I'm feeling daunted. So tell me.... in the book of ABCs on relationships, what would you add? Dating is just time spent together, but so much more goes into building an actual relationship. Like what?
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Uh, trust and commitment? So how do you build trust, how do you show commitment? And someone else can say love, but how do YOU show love? ....lol. My silly threads. I'm thinking now I just have a lot to read and learn, here on LS and other places.... and more so a lot to DO, a lot to prove in this relationship of mine I have, a lot to show, to make it work, make it happen. It's just that lingering "but what?" thought. That desire to know what I should do to make it happen this time, to give my 100%.
sagetalk Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 So how do you build trust, how do you show commitment? I'll try to be brief. Trust must be earned through repeated acts of speaking the truth and being honorable in your actions. It's that simple. Commitment comes from all directions. Past relationships are a good or bad sign. An excellent example would be someone who still has a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, but they want to date you. That is the ultimate no commitment red flag. It also means you care enough about the other person enough to include them in your life frequently, reject the romantic advances of others, and share with that person your honest thoughts about important things often. To me, that is the highest level of commitment. In summary, if someone lies to you (or lies to their partner about them seeing you) they are neither committed nor are they trustworthy. If they are honest and open with you, you have a great shot at a wonderful relationship.
lecasanova Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 yes trust and commitment are the two most important ones. but i personally believe there should be purity and understanding too. -nods. anyway, i have a blog that's like the ABCs of relationships, check it out in my signature below yeah (:
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I'll try to be brief. Trust must be earned through repeated acts of speaking the truth and being honorable in your actions. It's that simple. Commitment comes from all directions. Past relationships are a good or bad sign. An excellent example would be someone who still has a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, but they want to date you. That is the ultimate no commitment red flag. It also means you care enough about the other person enough to include them in your life frequently, reject the romantic advances of others, and share with that person your honest thoughts about important things often. To me, that is the highest level of commitment. In summary, if someone lies to you (or lies to their partner about them seeing you) they are neither committed nor are they trustworthy. If they are honest and open with you, you have a great shot at a wonderful relationship. Excellent. Just the kind of breakdown I'm looking for. Thank you. I think what I might do then, is break down what I want in this relationship and then list out actions I can take to accomplish that. Love, trust, commitment..... I'll break it down and list out what I'm going to do or how I can be to show these things.
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 yes trust and commitment are the two most important ones. but i personally believe there should be purity and understanding too. -nods. anyway, i have a blog that's like the ABCs of relationships, check it out in my signature below yeah (: Will check it out! Thank you!
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Still interested in hearing other qualities people desire in a relationship, and how they show that or how it can be shown.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Still interested in hearing other qualities people desire in a relationship, and how they show that or how it can be shown. Overall sexiness is HUGE for me. I like when a woman can own her sexuality. confident in her looks, great communication in the bedroom, willing and fun sexual partner, knows I think she's sexy first thing in the morning...that type stuff. HUGE turn on and great for keeping the relationship HOT!!!
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Overall sexiness is HUGE for me. I like when a woman can own her sexuality. confident in her looks, great communication in the bedroom, willing and fun sexual partner, knows I think she's sexy first thing in the morning...that type stuff. HUGE turn on and great for keeping the relationship HOT!!! And such a big part of it all... of course. Can NOT forget to think about this one, as basic as it is. So far, in the ABCs of relatioships there are: Commitment - being available to make a commitment Trust - through repeated acts of speaking the truth and being honorable in your actions. Sexuality - confident in looks, communication in the bedroom, willing and fun sexual partner
Author Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 yes trust and commitment are the two most important ones. but i personally believe there should be purity and understanding too. -nods. Care to elaborate on how you can apply purity and understanding in a relationship?
meerkat stew Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 The biggest challenge in my relationships has been keeping things from going too fast while the slow process of really getting to know someone that leads to trust and security crawls on in a snail pace for which there are no shortcuts. It seems people today want a microwave popcorn speed of commitment and intimacy at the peril of overheating before the process of trust building catches up. Insecurity is the result. Insecurity leads to doubts. Doubts lead to quarrels. Quarrels lead to alternatively a worn-out feeling, or a feeling of pressure or being trapped. There is no underpinning of true trust and respect yet, so the relationship implodes on itself from stress fractures in the fragile foundation. Though this is strictly a subjective observation, I bet many experience the same thing as I have.
sagetalk Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Commitment - being available to make a commitment Trust - through repeated acts of speaking the truth and being honorable in your actions. Sexuality - confident in looks, communication in the bedroom, willing and fun sexual partner If a relationship has these three things and neither of the people involved are loony, I'd say there's a good chance they are going to grow old together .
bwidger Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The biggest challenge in my relationships has been keeping things from going too fast while the slow process of really getting to know someone that leads to trust and security crawls on in a snail pace for which there are no shortcuts. It seems people today want a microwave popcorn speed of commitment and intimacy at the peril of overheating before the process of trust building catches up. Insecurity is the result. Insecurity leads to doubts. Doubts lead to quarrels. Quarrels lead to alternatively a worn-out feeling, or a feeling of pressure or being trapped. There is no underpinning of true trust and respect yet, so the relationship implodes on itself from stress fractures in the fragile foundation. Though this is strictly a subjective observation, I bet many experience the same thing as I have. Oh yeah..................
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 If a relationship has these three things and neither of the people involved are loony, I'd say there's a good chance they are going to grow old together . these are easier to obtain than to keep in my experience..... ive had all three and am still crying about a girl cancelling a second date on me!
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