Heartbrokenandinlove Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 So three weeks ago to this day my Girlfriend broke up with me. We were together for 15 months and share a flat together. Her reasons weren't really clear, she said her feelings have changed and I think she's using the break up to find out what she really wants. I know we were happy and in love, even 3 weeks before the break up we were really in love but she said she just wasn't happy. We've stayed in touch and are communicating all the time. Although this is nice I dont know if its helping. She has told me that she has made the right decision but is also in such a mess. She's told friends that she will "never say never" about getting back with me...I don't know what to think...I'm really confused about the whole situation. I am still very much in love with her and she still thinks about me all the time...should I fight or let her go? Should I move out or stay here? Should I persue her or give her space? Please help!
LovelyDaze Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 So three weeks ago to this day my Girlfriend broke up with me. We were together for 15 months and share a flat together. Her reasons weren't really clear, she said her feelings have changed and I think she's using the break up to find out what she really wants. I know we were happy and in love, even 3 weeks before the break up we were really in love but she said she just wasn't happy. We've stayed in touch and are communicating all the time. Although this is nice I dont know if its helping. She has told me that she has made the right decision but is also in such a mess. She's told friends that she will "never say never" about getting back with me...I don't know what to think...I'm really confused about the whole situation. I am still very much in love with her and she still thinks about me all the time...should I fight or let her go? Should I move out or stay here? Should I persue her or give her space? Please help! It is not wise right now for you two to get back together. The wounds are still fresh and you need time to decompress from the breakup. Yes, the communicating is obviously not good because it sounds like you are only feeling worse about the situation, not better. Try it in baby steps to take a break. First, don't talk to each other for at least 1 entire day. Make that day for you to analyze the reasons why you feel it should and shouldn't work out. Make sure you let your head do the talking, not your heart. Your heart would want her back even if she spat in your face. Next, if you just can't go NC (No contact) another day and you guys MUST talk, put all cards on the table. See if you are going to work on this broken relationship or keep it in a limbo purgatory of "we'll sees" and "maybes" If she doesn't give you a straight answer on that, well then that IS your answer. She doesn't want to and then you will have to work on moving on.
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 It is not wise right now for you two to get back together. The wounds are still fresh and you need time to decompress from the breakup. Yes, the communicating is obviously not good because it sounds like you are only feeling worse about the situation, not better. Try it in baby steps to take a break. First, don't talk to each other for at least 1 entire day. Make that day for you to analyze the reasons why you feel it should and shouldn't work out. Make sure you let your head do the talking, not your heart. Your heart would want her back even if she spat in your face. Next, if you just can't go NC (No contact) another day and you guys MUST talk, put all cards on the table. See if you are going to work on this broken relationship or keep it in a limbo purgatory of "we'll sees" and "maybes" If she doesn't give you a straight answer on that, well then that IS your answer. She doesn't want to and then you will have to work on moving on. We've done that - only lasted two days - we're both still really civil too each other sending comforting messages. We also met up and I laid all my cards on the table but she didnt really say much - I agree that we cant get back together yet - but the only thing thats keeping my head above water is hoping. Im trying to do all the right things. I've stopped begging her and sending her random messages...i've even tried to understand everything shes saying and going through. Shes still very important to me. I guess I cant get see past the hope. Every minute seems like an hour and its so nice to hear from her. Ive agreed that we need space and time....I just want to understand why more than anything. I think part of me just wants to fight - take her on holidays but I dont know if its the right thing.I dont want to ruin any chances
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 shall I initiate NC?
Space Ritual Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 shall I initiate NC? YES!!!!! She is playing you for a fool. More likely than not she may soon be seeing someone else and will keep you on the backburner until she figures out if her new guy will work out or not. The best thing you can do is go NC, if she has stuff at your place arrange a time with one of her family members to come and pick it up. Delete her form your life and don't talk to her again. she cant miss you idf she is still in contact with you. You will begin to heal much sooner if you go NC now. I am sorry this is happening to you, but please think about healing and noty abouit her keeping you on a string.
Author Heartbrokenandinlove Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 Thank you for your reply - it has certainly made me realise things YES!!!!! She is playing you for a fool. More likely than not she may soon be seeing someone else and will keep you on the backburner until she figures out if her new guy will work out or not. The best thing you can do is go NC, if she has stuff at your place arrange a time with one of her family members to come and pick it up. Delete her form your life and don't talk to her again. she cant miss you idf she is still in contact with you. You will begin to heal much sooner if you go NC now. I am sorry this is happening to you, but please think about healing and noty abouit her keeping you on a string.
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