Confused4Now Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Funny even after my DDay I didn't have that light bulb moment and I thought for sure it would be....Almost 6 months after DDay my Light bulb moment came when I looked at my children and they didn't want to be around me anymore. They saw what my MW was doing to me...I was in this walking fog. Then the light came on about family meaning my kids....I put my focus on my kids which led me to put the focus on me. So you can say my kids saved me....you should see my kids now...They LOVE me and I can't get rid of them now!!!!:love: I'm curious as to when did your light bulb come on?
TaraMaiden Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Sheesh, I've had so many, I think I could light up Times Square on Christmas Eve....
hopeless4u Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I'm still waiting...... Everytime I think 'yes, this is it' something jumps out at me and he's back in my head and I'm bawling again. I can't trust my own emotions at the moment. I know it will come and I hope its soon but for now I'm still waiting......
Fallen Angel Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I'm still waiting...... Everytime I think 'yes, this is it' something jumps out at me and he's back in my head and I'm bawling again. I can't trust my own emotions at the moment. I know it will come and I hope its soon but for now I'm still waiting...... *sits down on the still waiting couch with hopeless and holds her hand.. maybe we can share that moment together, kiddo. Let me know when ya feel it coming, I want to be prepared for the glare... ((gets out her sunglasses))
mybrowneyedgirl Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 i posted about my moment recently in a thread called "something so simple." it was when a friend of mine said "he picked her and he can never take that back." its like the switch flipped and the tears stopped right then and there. since then ive viewed all of this in a whole new light.
Author Confused4Now Posted December 31, 2009 Author Posted December 31, 2009 i posted about my moment recently in a thread called "something so simple." it was when a friend of mine said "he picked her and he can never take that back." its like the switch flipped and the tears stopped right then and there. since then ive viewed all of this in a whole new light. I agree with the "he picked her and can never take that back" However for me when it happened it was more he/she made a choice to stay and he/she can never take that back" So it's kinda like the same thing.
BenThereDunThat Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 For me, the light bulb was there the entire time, i.e., being involved with a married man was the single most stupid thing I EVER did. You hear this all the time, but, it's true. He was a symptom. (they all are, really. you just need to LISTEN to yourself)
temple Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 For me, the light bulb was there the entire time, i.e., being involved with a married man was the single most stupid thing I EVER did. You hear this all the time, but, it's true. He was a symptom. (they all are, really. you just need to LISTEN to yourself) This is very true. I think my lightbulb is faulty, right now it's blinking off and on. I feel the same as hopless4u and Fallen Angel. To be honest, I just keep telling myself that while he said all of the things I wanted to hear and made so many promises, he acted upon none of them. So this was all just like reading a very good romance novel. I'm trying to distance myself by thinking none of this was ever actually given to me. And what use are words if they have no meaning?
Hazyhead Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I think my lightbulb is faulty, right now it's blinking off and on. I feel the same as hopless4u and Fallen Angel. To be honest, I just keep telling myself that while he said all of the things I wanted to hear and made so many promises, he acted upon none of them. So this was all just like reading a very good romance novel. I'm trying to distance myself by thinking none of this was ever actually given to me. And what use are words if they have no meaning? I feel very similarly Temple. I have moments where I tell myself the lightbulb moment was where he decided to stay - as Confused said, but I still falter. I still pine for him. The use words have when they are not followed by meaning or action is that they f*** us up royally.
temple Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 The use words have when they are not followed by meaning or action is that they f*** us up royally. It doesn't need to. Because if it wasn't acted on, then it never really happened. The person meant for you would follow up on his promises. Since the 'break-up' he has sent me so many lengthly messages... they all make me question him. I question how easy it is for him to find all the right words to say, especially when I feel so lost, so confused, so empty of words. It seems to suggest he's had rather a lot of practice, don't you think?
Hazyhead Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 It doesn't need to. Because if it wasn't acted on, then it never really happened. The person meant for you would follow up on his promises. Since the 'break-up' he has sent me so many lengthly messages... they all make me question him. I question how easy it is for him to find all the right words to say, especially when I feel so lost, so confused, so empty of words. It seems to suggest he's had rather a lot of practice, don't you think? That's a scary thought - that they may well have had a lot of practice. Maybe the wives hear the same words. I'm getting the messages too, and after the 'break up' for us, I thought I'd want these messages, needing to have as much of him as I could, even if they were sad little snippets of doubt. But when they come I find them soul-destroying and I don't want to read any more of them as in them he only questions himself, which makes me even more confused. Sending a hug your way Temple. Your words always make so much sense to me.
jennie-jennie Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 My light bulb moment was when I read two books by therapist Emily Brown, where she explains the Split Self Affair. I realized that there were psychological explanations to my MM's behaviour, and finally my mind and my heart agreed on a way to view my world. I found peace while still choosing to remain in the EMR.
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