ordinary_girl Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 frucking women.... :confused: :confused: :confused:
DustySaltus Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 .... after all, if she said you are her match she has to like you enough to say that. If you are her match, you will be her NY date priority. But definitely take the initiative here to call, touch basis and clear up the communication. Bingo.......
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I think she owed it to you to call and cancel your date together. Sending a text to cancel is a little rude, but maybe I'm just being old fashioned. Since the communication is obviously not clear here, why don't you call her? Call her just with the intention of touching basis. See if she answers your call. If she does, let her know that you can reschedule. See how she responds. Maybe bring up some NY plans, make it sound fun and let her know that you would like to celebrate this with her if she feels better. Something like that. If she doesn't answer, leave a message saying you hope she gets well, and you would like to keep in touch with her about plans for tomorrow. .... after all, if she said you are her match she has to like you enough to say that. If you are her match, you will be her NY date priority. But definitely take the initiative here to call, touch basis and clear up the communication. i dont want to call and seem over eager. i already sent a text "saying feel better, hit me up when you have time if you feel up to it" she has had plans to go out of town with friends for NY long before she met me. you think I should call even though she texted me cancelling and i already texted her back AND tried to IM her?
DustySaltus Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 you think I should call even though she texted me cancelling and i already texted her back AND tried to IM her? Sure, as she said "assume everything is fine unless one of you state otherwise".
Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 you think I should call even though she texted me cancelling and i already texted her back AND tried to IM her? Yes, absolutely. Any excuses for not calling and any confusion because of not calling is just causing the situation to worsen. Don't be hesitant to call her. What you need is to clear up the communication right now. Sending a text to cancel on you was not really what you needed, and it caused a problem. The only way to clear that up is to call her now. Let her know you understand you cancelled because she was sick, but definitely let her know you want to reschedule. Calling to communicate this is important. Text/IM are good but they don't make the cut for communication in this situation.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 i really think the ball is in her court here. i sent her a reply to her 'reschedule' text when i got up this AM. i stated that she should contact me if she feels up to it. its just so odd...she had at least 2, maybe three chances last night to break it off in our IM convo. why did she IM me last night instead of call? was she planning on cancelling and freaked out? whats with all the 'you're my match' garbage? why the no response to IM or text today? i would think if you are truly interested, she would be a little more forward with her intentions...pursue a little more. I honestly havent felt pursued by here at all. she says she is very shy, but the 2 times we went out, she did most of the talking! she even made a joke last night and said "you just dont get my sense of humor yet, but you will"....its like WTF????????????? you can see my dilemma here. like i said, its the not knowing that is killing me right now.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Dusty and Joolie, you make good points. if i do call her, it wont be until tonight. i want to give her the chance to respond today. if she wanted to talk, she easily could have. she probably went back to bed. ill give her the day to respond. though, i think if she doesnt, its a clear message she is NOT interested. if i was interested and cancelled on someone, and would make damn sure they knew i was still interested. i wouldnt not call or communicate with that person. also, she text me because she thought i would be at work and couldnt call. she also text me first thing this am.....and i know she is at home today. sooooo. i sit here at wait and feel like ripping my insides out. awesome.
Yukikazi Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 steve.. just relax and put it out of your mind. Sit back and wait... and don't always believe that a woman is being honest... I met a girl at a convention and she literally jumped me in bed.. spent 4 days and 3 nights together.. and she was constantly saying she wanted to pursue the relationship when we returned home... then pretty much vanished when we got home.. and I gave her lots of chances to pick the 'what happens on vacay stays on vacay".. she did.. w/o telling or explaining why. So just cause she tells you nice things.. doesn't always make them true
Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I'm thinking about how important it is to establish good communication. We owe it to ourselves, to others and to our relationships to have good communication. If something is unclear, or is confusing us, or there is something suspicious going on, it is our personal responsibility to clear that up. I think your date might get a pass if the real reason was that she didn't want to interfere with a phone call while you were at work, or whatever reasons you gave her. But still, there is no doubt that if she drops the ball then you have to pick it up here. And if you are constantly having to pick up the communication ball that could be an issue. I think your plan of waiting to call her tonight is great. Call her and see where's she's at, or what she's up to. I don't want to be suspicious, but it did feel like she might be giving you a run around. So just check in with her and get clear on that. There was a guy I dated very recently who was concise on communication, I picked up a lot from him. He would call and get cleared up on something. He would ask a question so there was no confusion on his part. It was great. Really showed me how I need to communicate and not leave the guy in the dark. So that's what I see here.... the communication is off, on both sides.
Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Also.... if there is something suspicious going on or she is flaking on you then you get to confront her on that. It's easy to flake or sleaze out via text or IM.... but you get so much more by communicating point blank over the phone or in person. Hopefully though, as you said, it's just an issue of her trying to reach you at work and stuff.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 OP, this is a three-date stranger. It's real simple. Watch her actions. Is she standing beside you on NYE? Go with that. Pay attention to one or more of the other three whose actions match their words. I've seen more than one instance of word manipulation with this one, especially the 'I'm your match' part. BS. You know you invested too early. Spank yourself, look in the mirror and tell that killer mug it deserves better. Go forth
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 OP, this is a three-date stranger. It's real simple. Watch her actions. Is she standing beside you on NYE? Go with that. Pay attention to one or more of the other three whose actions match their words. I've seen more than one instance of word manipulation with this one, especially the 'I'm your match' part. BS. You know you invested too early. Spank yourself, look in the mirror and tell that killer mug it deserves better. Go forth well said....im just not used to dating. always had GF's. im brutally honest with people and make no excuses for it, and expect others to be with me as well. i do have an amazing '6th sense' though, and just had a feeling something wasnt right after our muffed up IM convo Monday night. I texted her after that and didnt get any response until she IM'd me last night after I left her a voicemail she also emailed me from work Monday..which she had never done before. she sent me pictures from christmas and said "ok, i'll let m wall down a little for you"...and we emailed back and forth 10 times throughout the day. she has told me before that she has a wall built up because of other BS, but that once i break through it, im golden. who knows with this one....
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I'm thinking about how important it is to establish good communication. We owe it to ourselves, to others and to our relationships to have good communication. If something is unclear, or is confusing us, or there is something suspicious going on, it is our personal responsibility to clear that up. I think your date might get a pass if the real reason was that she didn't want to interfere with a phone call while you were at work, or whatever reasons you gave her. But still, there is no doubt that if she drops the ball then you have to pick it up here. And if you are constantly having to pick up the communication ball that could be an issue. I think your plan of waiting to call her tonight is great. Call her and see where's she's at, or what she's up to. I don't want to be suspicious, but it did feel like she might be giving you a run around. So just check in with her and get clear on that. There was a guy I dated very recently who was concise on communication, I picked up a lot from him. He would call and get cleared up on something. He would ask a question so there was no confusion on his part. It was great. Really showed me how I need to communicate and not leave the guy in the dark. So that's what I see here.... the communication is off, on both sides. i hear you....its just EVERYTHING i've been told is to be 'mysterious' and unavailable and make her wonder. i want to call her, but there really isnt a reason to. she was pretty clear in her text that tonight was off. im thinking i will call her. just ask her how she's feeling, etc. but im still wavering on that a little because I dont want to come of as "i have no life"
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 "ok, i'll let m wall down a little for you"...and we emailed back and forth 10 times throughout the day. she has told me before that she has a wall built up because of other BS, but that once i break through it, im golden. More BS, disguised as 'communication'. As opposed to a 'sing along' of Auld Lang Sine, it's more of a 'string along'. Johnson, tear down this wall
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) More BS, disguised as 'communication'. As opposed to a 'sing along' of Auld Lang Sine, it's more of a 'string along'. Johnson, tear down this wall im working on tearing down this wall...but im getting shunned at every turn i am an amazing judge of character. i know she is not BS'ing me. we have had long convo's, and 2 fairly long and personal dates. i have a good sense on who she is. she is the kind of girl to be straightforward with someone. she even told me about a dude from the online dating site that wants to take her out again, but she was writing an email to let him down softly. she could of just ignored him, like I do to my 'losers'. she has good character. I can tell that. well educated, comes from a good family, has great values. unless this is my BIGGEST misread of all time....and very well could be. i know you all have tons of experience and have 'seen it all', but I'm in the situation, have talked to her many times...and all you guys have to go off is my paragraph description. I want to trust my gut here.....maybe this will be a valuable lesson for me. But I'm going to assume for now, that everything she said and has done is on the up and up. At least for my sanity if nothing else. I dont think she would of emailed me from work Monday if she was planning on hanging me out to dry. That doesnt make much sense. she works for a furtune 500 company and wouldnt risk an email meltdown from some crazy boy she's dating. or send me the pictures of her. just doesnt add up Edited December 30, 2009 by stevejohnson1976
alphamale Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I hate this ***** so much. I'm literally having a panic attack.... don't put all your eggs in one basket....start scamming on other chicks pronto
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 don't put all your eggs in one basket....start scamming on other chicks pronto and I am...i can have a date tonight with this hot 22yr old( still deciding)....and i am dating 3 others currently.... you always want the one you cant have... i want to tell this girl and shake her and be like "you know how many other girls I'm dating? I want you but you are BLOWING it!!!" - i'm wouldnt ever do that, but its like, come on girl. get with the program.
sagetalk Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 you always want the one you cant have... Lose that motto pronto, that kind of thinking leads to a miserable life.
monkey00 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 im working on tearing down this wall...but im getting shunned at every turn i am an amazing judge of character. i know she is not BS'ing me. we have had long convo's, and 2 fairly long and personal dates. i have a good sense on who she is. she is the kind of girl to be straightforward with someone. she even told me about a dude from the online dating site that wants to take her out again, but she was writing an email to let him down softly. she could of just ignored him, like I do to my 'losers'. she has good character. I can tell that. well educated, comes from a good family, has great values. I dont think she would of emailed me from work Monday if she was planning on hanging me out to dry. That doesnt make much sense. she works for a furtune 500 company and wouldnt risk an email meltdown from some crazy boy she's dating. or send me the pictures of her. just doesnt add up I think these are good selling points about her. Trust your gut on this. Girls that aren't into you usually wouldn't do this, let alone tell you about letting go of other dating prospects.
Author stevejohnson1976 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 well she IM'd me (i was away) and she texted me saying "sorry i missed you! i went back to bed im so sick!" how do i play this?????? im thinking ill just call her tonight
DustySaltus Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 well she IM'd me (i was away) and she texted me saying "sorry i missed you! i went back to bed im so sick!" how do i play this?????? im thinking ill just call her tonight yeah man, stick to the plan....
Yukikazi Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 well she IM'd me (i was away) and she texted me saying "sorry i missed you! i went back to bed im so sick!" how do i play this?????? im thinking ill just call her tonight Yes its safe to call her and see how she is feeling, wish her well, offer to bring chicken soup or something...
alphamale Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 i want to tell this girl and shake her and be like "you know how many other girls I'm dating? I want you but you are BLOWING it!!!" - i'm wouldnt ever do that, but its like, come on girl. get with the program. loose lips sink ships
Ms. Joolie Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 i hear you....its just EVERYTHING i've been told is to be 'mysterious' and unavailable and make her wonder. i want to call her, but there really isnt a reason to. she was pretty clear in her text that tonight was off. im thinking i will call her. just ask her how she's feeling, etc. but im still wavering on that a little because I dont want to come of as "i have no life" I understand your point. You aren't desperate for this girl, and you have a life. When it comes to communication though, you don't want to be mysterious and unavailable to anyone. You are learning about each other and have begun spending time with her, but if I were you I'd establish clear communication now and not later. Has nothing to do with interfering in getting to know you. That is still the mystery, or something to discover about you. I recommend you establish now that unclear communication is NOT what you're about though. Let THAT be no mystery.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 OK, example... Bf's wife, sicker than a dog (57 tissues she says), calls last night to make sure I got home OK (I had traveled to spend Christmas with them at the coast). She sounded like death warmed over. Call length? 20 seconds. Effect? Solidified why she occupies the place in my life that she does. Any woman who's successful enough to work for a Fortune 500 company knows how to communicate, with her mouth, that she's sick and needs to reschedule. Think of all the business things she had to reschedule. We all know boss's viewpoint on texting 'I'm sick, not working today', right?
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