love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I broke up with a guy about 2 months ago and haven't heard of him until Christmas day when he texted me saying Merry Christmas. However, we didn't talk or anything else, but now I want to sent him a Happy New Year text. Is this a good idea? And when should I send it , on Dec, 31st or jan.,1st? The only "conversation" we had the day he sent the text was that when I replied I said something like I thought about sending him the same message, but because he was upset at me, i didn't do it. He said he wasn't upset, he was worried. Do you think this guy has any intentions to come back together? Thanks
gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 You broke up with him ?? Shouldn't the question be do YOU have any intention of getting back together ??? If so then talk to him, if not, leave him alone !!!
Angel1111 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Well, it would seem odd that you're concerned that he might want to get back together since you're the one who broke up with him. I don't really know the circumstances of your break-up. What do you want? Are you wanting to get back together with him? Why is he worried about you? I would not send the text. Even if you want him back, don't send it. Appearing over-eager will backfire on you.
Author love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I broke up with because of some circumstances. he told me that he wasn't sure what to do, to be with or not. Then I told him good bye because I didn't believe it was fair for me to wait. He could have said NO. So I said NO first, even that's not what I wanted. I regret now and I am thinking to get back together. As I said he texted me first after about 2 months, don't you think this is a sign that he wants to get back together? Angel , I don't quiet understand why would be over-eager???
sean1970 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I broke up with because of some circumstances. he told me that he wasn't sure what to do, to be with or not. Then I told him good bye because I didn't believe it was fair for me to wait. He could have said NO. So I said NO first, even that's not what I wanted. I regret now and I am thinking to get back together. As I said he texted me first after about 2 months, don't you think this is a sign that he wants to get back together? Angel , I don't quiet understand why would be over-eager??? "Merry Christmas" = Not a sign "I really miss you, can we talk" = sign
Angel1111 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) I broke up with because of some circumstances. he told me that he wasn't sure what to do, to be with or not. Then I told him good bye because I didn't believe it was fair for me to wait. He could have said NO. So I said NO first, even that's not what I wanted. I regret now and I am thinking to get back together. As I said he texted me first after about 2 months, don't you think this is a sign that he wants to get back together? Angel , I don't quiet understand why would be over-eager??? Then you broke up with him for a good reason, and now he has had time to think about it. Yeah, he might be wanting to get back together, but wait and see what HE does. One text does not equal any significant action on his part. It may have just been a knee-jerk reaction from the emotions of the holiday, or he wanted to test the waters to see if you're receptive to talking to him. Ok, he got his answer. Now leave it alone. What I meant by overeager is that his one text does not merit any special action from you; i.e. wishing him a happy new year. Sending a text like that to him is like telling him that non-committal communication with you is ok, once again. You don't want him to get that impression. Responding to his texts is different than initiating them yourself. If he comes back to you, he needs to understand that nothing has changed - you still require commitment. Initiating a text can make you appear too anxious and that you read too much into him contacting you. I know this sounds overly complicated regarding a simple text but that's the way it is. Men are very shrewd. Silence speaks very loudly to them, as you have now noticed after 2 mos. If he wants to get back with you, let him figure out how to go about doing that. Edited December 30, 2009 by Angel1111
LovelyDaze Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 What is it that you really want from communicating with him? Be honest with yourself, assess the reasons why you broke with him in the first place.
Author love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 "Merry Christmas" = Not a sign "I really miss you, can we talk" = sign I do agree with this Sean, but at the same time, I know some men wouldn't say anything like. WEll, I wouldn't either. I like it simple after a break up and see how it goes after that.
HLP234 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I do agree with this Sean, but at the same time, I know some men wouldn't say anything like. WEll, I wouldn't either. I like it simple after a break up and see how it goes after that. I've gotten I miss you and I want to see you, during our break. So i ended up hanging out with her and it did not lead to talking about us. She still said she needed space/time and accused me of being different with her and saying I was not acting like normal when we hang out. So it depends on the person..that's what I mean by them giving you signs as to when to reach out and try to communicate with them. I was told she misses me and cares about me and wants to see me but it only lead to us hanging out and nothing about talking about the relationship during the "break."
Hazyhead Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think you're thinking about it too much - the text that is. It depends what you want from it; if you think sending it will spark off a whole new boom of communcation between you then I wouldn't send it, but if you just want to actually wish him a happy new year with no sub-text that he might not pick up on then send it. Above all, enjoy your new year and don't spend it worrying about someone that 2010 might well not be about for you.
Author love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I think you're thinking about it too much - the text that is. It depends what you want from it; if you think sending it will spark off a whole new boom of communcation between you then I wouldn't send it, but if you just want to actually wish him a happy new year with no sub-text that he might not pick up on then send it. Above all, enjoy your new year and don't spend it worrying about someone that 2010 might well not be about for you. What I want is to make it spark off, but I don't really want to show it too much. As Angel said, if you make a man wait, he might get thinking of you again. I guess I feel a bit bad about the whole think, because once he told me he didn't know what to do, but we still talking. I actually asked him what was going one and he said that. Then later on , like a day after, he said that there are still chances to continue. But he didn't say what "chances" he was talking about. After we talked, he told me that he would tell me what the problem was, but he didn't for a few days .And I decided to end it, then he told me what the problem was and also that he wanted to be by himself. So it was confusing.
Author love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Then you broke up with him for a good reason, and now he has had time to think about it. Yeah, he might be wanting to get back together, but wait and see what HE does. One text does not equal any significant action on his part. It may have just been a knee-jerk reaction from the emotions of the holiday, or he wanted to test the waters to see if you're receptive to talking to him. Ok, he got his answer. Now leave it alone. What I meant by overeager is that his one text does not merit any special action from you; i.e. wishing him a happy new year. Sending a text like that to him is like telling him that non-committal communication with you is ok, once again. You don't want him to get that impression. Responding to his texts is different than initiating them yourself. If he comes back to you, he needs to understand that nothing has changed - you still require commitment. Initiating a text can make you appear too anxious and that you read too much into him contacting you. I know this sounds overly complicated regarding a simple text but that's the way it is. Men are very shrewd. Silence speaks very loudly to them, as you have now noticed after 2 mos. If he wants to get back with you, let him figure out how to go about doing that. I am sure that he wanted to test the waters. One text might not mean much, but it depends how you look at. Maybe he wanted to show me he was thinking about me, but at the same time maybe he just said that to be nice, like to a friends. Another thing I forgot to mention, the day after the text I sent him an email saying that I was nice that I heard from him, but he didn't say anything. Now I am thinking that by doing that, I let him know again that I might be interested in getting back together. So should I wait or "force" things a bit more as long as they are hot and send him a text on New Year? This is the question.. The relationship wasn't a committed one and it wasn't going to be because we both decided from the beginning not to. We were both after a divorce, with kids to take care and we wanted an easy relationship, having fun kind of relationship, but a friendship as well.
Author love_story Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Above all, enjoy your new year and don't spend it worrying about someone that 2010 might well not be about for you. Correct, you too!
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