Lollylost Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Hi everybody, this is my first post so please be gentle. Anyway Im with the bf just about 4 years. Im crazy about him, relationship has defo had its ups and downs. Mightaswell start at the start, I fell in head over heels, shortly in well 12 months discovered he had signed up to several net dating sites with photos (totally crushed me) anyway we got past that. then 18 months in moved in together, discovered he was webcamming other women. Got past that discovered he was still meeting women and swapping fotos of genitals and what not. lol yes I know............................................ anyway got past all of that. here we are 4 years later. Im kinda just about past all that, Id actually love to be asked for my hand in marriage I kinda need some stability in my life if Im honest, its still a subject Im not really allowed bring up. So what Im good enough to live with but nothing else? I dunno feeeling a bit I dunno at the minute. the net dating I am past. Theres history there, I was well had spent a night in a sexual assault treatment unit shortly before we hooked up so there were always some issues with that there. To be honest I dont even know what Im looking for here. Needed to vent. Thanks all
ordinary_girl Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I am very sorry if you were a victim of a sexual assault, hopefully you have healed from that. however I am confused what you are doing with someone who has cheated on you several times? why would you even talk about marriage with him? what do you mean you are not allowed to bring up the subject? why do you think you would get stability from someone who goes with other women while he is with you?
Author Lollylost Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Hi Ordinary Girl, He never actually met with any of these girls, I do believe it was purely online based. I think the reason I let those occasions slide so easy is I kind of went with I had wayyyy too many sexual hang ups at the time and he went on there to satisfy that end of things. Its not something I would myself put somebody through but I am actually over that. I really needed to get this stuff out, needed a soundboard, annonymously venting. Thanks a mil for reading. I Re read my 1st post and should note where I say "meeting" I meant meeting online sorry for the confusion. Edited December 30, 2009 by Lollylost
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Lolly - my XH cheated online. I still considered it cheating. He did go out physically on dates with a couple women he knew IRL (didn't find this out until years later), but swears there was no sex. Anyway - his issues aside, I feel that online cheating, showing someone else your genitals...still cheating. OK...that issue aside. You're not "allowed" to discuss what? What you want out of life? That you'd like to be married one day? That's friggin ridiculous. I've only been dating the guy I'm with for less than 5 months and we're both clear on the fact that "one day" we individually have seen ourselves getting married again (both one divorce on our records). Do you not discuss life goals with your BF? Do you know if he EVER wants to marry ANYBODY? That would be step one. But really - you see a future with somebody that would step out on you when the relationship is only a year old just because things were tough? That is not spouse material, IMO. You want somebody that knows how to be loyal, because that's what marriage is about. But that's just what I've learned in my own life journey, YMMV.
sagetalk Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Got past that discovered he was still meeting women and swapping fotos of genitals and what not. lol There is no LOL after that statement. This guy is a loser , why are you with him? Don't let him treat you like that, find a real man.
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