b52s Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 This post is aimed mainly at the ladies, for this has been my experience. When a guy you were talking to, say at a friends party or out with friends....and a guy bravely asks for your number......because he's interested obviously. Answer honestly, because in MY experience, a woman has never been all that honest with me face to face. What would happen is, she would have no problem giving me her number after I asked for it...hasn't happend to me all the time, but it's quite common. Here's her plan when she gives you her number: "Okay, I'll give him my number NOW...and when he calls, here's what I'll do....I'll 1. Screen the call 2. Not return his call 3. Answer his call, come up with some excuse and blow him off. 4. After about 2 or 3 times of this.....he'll get the hint, and I'll never hear from him again. Ladies, be honest, have you done this instead of just flat out telling him you're not interested?
ordinary_girl Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I know it's hard to ask for someone's number and I am never in the position having to ask so I understand why this is an issue but really so many men ask for lots of numbers. All my male friends ask girls for their numbers even if they have no intention of calling. So I give my number and I don't question what he will do with it - unless we have very strong chemistry. If I like him I respond positively, if I don't then I'll blow him off (probably 1. and 2.) If I don't like a guy I won't allow the conversation to develop this far anyway so it isn't usually an issue.
D-Jam Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 b52s, I understand the frustration and even why you're trying to find out why women will lie and lead guys on like this rather than give an upfront "Thanks, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested" to the guy. The problem is that you, myself, and I'm sure others on this board are a MINORITY in the grand scope of males out there. We would all gladly take a straight-forward rejection and respectfully say goodnight to the female and leave her alone. You've even see me tell of how I've made friendships with these women because I respected their honesty and backbone to tell the truth. However, as I said, we're a minority. I've seen guys who get the rejection do things that thus add on to the walls women put up when meeting men. There are guys who suddenly break out in 1000 questions of "why?", thus trying to convince her to give him a shot. So she's trying to be polite, but he's delving more and more to get some answer of why she won't give him her number. Sometimes the guy will want to find out if it's a shallow reason, or wants to hear a shallow reason so he can then turn into a total a**hole and call her derogatory names, believing he's an amazing guy and she's a total b*tch who rejected him. Seen the anger come out easily on many guys where a girl rejected him pointblank and politely, but he still turned angry and rude when he should have been polite. Then you have the "'no' means 'try harder'" bunch. The ones who will just keep trying and trying until she caves in and gives that number. He won't be asking "why?" but more just keep working his angles and such. So women either get insecure guys who get all wimpy and ask "why? why? why?", or the ones who get angry quickly or at some point and call her a c*nt because she rejected him, or the guys who won't stop trying, or even worse the ones who take the rejection and then tell others bad things about said woman out of spite...or they cause drama. I'm a guy putting myself in a woman's standpoint with all this based on what I've seen colleagues and friends go through. It sucks to be the guy getting the lie, but I still believe the guys who can take a straight rejection are a small minority compared to the millions of little boys who do this BS and thus make it harder on everyone. It sucks that a woman can't be honest with a guy and walk away with no drama. Men like us who can handle a straight rejection a rare breed.
Author b52s Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I actually had a woman say "sorry, you seem like a great guy, but I just don't think it would work" and she said it in such a sweet manner..we still wound up being friends and there was no bad blood. I think we had good rapport to begin with....so.... And I seriously respected her for that, and honestly, it didn't bother me, I was thinking, "Huh, this doesn't bother me" Were as the latter, where I was given the number, even was told they wanted to go out with me.....and was more irritated with the fact they just lead me to believe I was interested. I guess I was so "shocked' with an honest response...that I thought "well, that's that...." and that was that. lol D J, you've actually SEEN guys in person react in such a manner? or they just do it behind the woman's back? (with the name calling?)
Miko Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think first phone calls are strange myself so I'll, that night or pretty soon, send a txt saying "My #" with my name just so they know who I am when I call or text later. I don't answer strange numbers calling my phone so I don't expect anyone else to either. Sometimes they'll txt back right away and we'll start bull$hitting. I'm a fan of texting since talking on the phone (with ANYBODY) is my single least favorite thing to do EVER! I hate holding the stupid thing up to my ear it's annoying plus there's no eye contact or body language. You can build a bit of rapport with texting and save the phone call to set up a date. Don't try to have much serious conversation texting, mainly just flirting, banter and playing around for fun. At some point you can go from "complete stranger" to "guy I sorta kinda know" which is way better for calling & setting a date.
D-Jam Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 D J, you've actually SEEN guys in person react in such a manner? or they just do it behind the woman's back? (with the name calling?) Both...many times. It's sad how many little boys out there make the actual men look bad. I'll never forget one guy calling a girl "CUNT" loudly in a bar because she politely rejected him. Another one in another venue yelled at two girls saying "FINE! BUY YOUR OWN ****ING DRINKS THEN!" Seen many more who will just deem ANY woman who rejects them as a bitch, whore, slut, cunt, etc. Like I said, I believe we are a minority.
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