Awesome Username Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I've never done the online dating thing. I've heard that in some of them, there is a huge question/answer section that kind of gets a handle on what your beliefs are, and then they match you up according to compatibility to some shmoe by percentage. I am a butthole about online dating, probably because I'm kind of nervous about dating in general. I would get weary if someone in real life or on my field of work found out I had an online dating profile, too. It seems almost desperate in a strange way, even though it's no more desperate than going out to a bar to pick someone up (not that I do that either, really). I'm not really actively playing the field or looking at the moment. Buuuut anyways, after I heard about that compatibility thing I was strangely curious. I mean, essentially you could put in everything that is important to you and the thing would find someone who also thought that way. That would cut out things like meeting a guy that would be PERFECT except for "I only date vegetarians," or "I like poop" or something that is just a deal breaker. Has anyone had any luck with any compatibility questions thing? What if your beliefs match up and it completely works?
Rainman760 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I tried eHarmony for a short while (the ones that do the Q/A compatibility 'research' based on their 'million dollar' psychological profiling) and what I didn't like about it was that they selected your matches for you based on this criteria and what I found is that it took the last shred of organic-ness out of dating, even online. You don't get to browse or maybe take a chance on someone base on a gut feeling. At least on Match you can search yourself based on what you're looking for and then go from there. But I have to say I have a friend who met her husband on EH, so I guess it all depends. Put it this way, of all the dates I've been on this year that either worked or not, only one was from EH and it was a disaster. You can ingest as much data as you want into a computer but in the end people are people and chemistry can't be grown in a petri dish! Well, actually I read an article that Fabio grows his, but he's the exception.
e.clipse Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 you shouldn't worry about dating, Awe. you're a beautiful girl who lives in California...there is some much to go around there, it's overwhelming, even. i think that the trick to dating and finding the right guy/girl (as with just about everything else), is to open yourself up (not literally, no) and let things happen. this doesn't mean you shouldn't be proactive, though. for example, i think i may know which site you are talking about, and if it is, go ahead and create a profile. if nothing else, you might make a new friend. i think that people still view online dating as an act of desperation because it is still a relatively new way of meeting people, that's all. after all, being on an online dating site is not synonymous with being unable to meet people "IRL." on the contrary, it means that you are opening yet another door where new people may come in that may otherwise would never have. it really is just another way to network; another way to meet new people. and--with more options--the better the chance you will meet the right one for you. but regardless of all of that, you say that you are not really actively dating, right? so just make one. what is the harm? you might be (positively) surprised! as an addendum, i don't do the online dating thing myself. but that's just because i don't i am socially inept in and off line, so i'm kinda hopeless, both ways.
D-Lish Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 No- because all the compatibility in the world can't make up for a lack of physical attraction:o I think it's good to match people up with certain core beliefs- but just because someone is a liberal atheist who loves dogs and likes to chill in his underwear and watch family guy- well, it doesn't mean I'd want to make out with him. We could be friends though. It's funny, I'm really open about doing online dating- so many people I know have done it or do it. Many have met people they are still with today. I kind of like people that are a bit different than I am anyway- I don't want a carbon copy of myself.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I tried eHarmony for a short while (the ones that do the Q/A compatibility 'research' based on their 'million dollar' psychological profiling) and what I didn't like about it was that they selected your matches for you based on this criteria and what I found is that it took the last shred of organic-ness out of dating, even online. You don't get to browse or maybe take a chance on someone base on a gut feeling. At least on Match you can search yourself based on what you're looking for and then go from there. But I have to say I have a friend who met her husband on EH, so I guess it all depends. Put it this way, of all the dates I've been on this year that either worked or not, only one was from EH and it was a disaster. You can ingest as much data as you want into a computer but in the end people are people and chemistry can't be grown in a petri dish! Well, actually I read an article that Fabio grows his, but he's the exception. omg, eew Fabio! Yeah, if it were to happen I'm sure you'd want to have the compatibility percentage AND some surfing options as well. It also might be strange if you two were supposed to be clinically compatible but it didn't work. "I believe this" "Yeah, me too." "Are you gonna agree with me on everything?" "I guess so." "Is this date boring for you too?" "Mm hmm." "Bye." "Later!" ...could be a recipe for superlame.
pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think there is some actual science to dating sites' compatibility testing. Like on OK Cupid it's give you a match rating out of 100%. However, you never really know until you meet the person. I went on a date with a guy who was a very high match, 93%. He was cool, but he was almost TOO much like me...like, it was boring. I like to date people who are somewhat different than me!
Author Awesome Username Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Thanks for the good advice D-lish and eclipse!! D: Yeah, there is no real internet magic for creating physical attraction. That is an issue. I heard (1 second ago, lol) that eharmony just matches you up, and other than answering questions you have no input. You could possibly be with someone who has everything but the physical attraction factor, which would suck. Or vice-versa, which would suck too. e: I might some time. Thanks for the confidence boost. I guess that as techy as I say I am, I have some old prejudices about it that are holding less and less credibility as people are living their life through facebook, etc. I am also kind of a scardy cat in some ways, but I feel like I'm a step closer to losing the fear of truly dating.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I think there is some actual science to dating sites' compatibility testing. Like on OK Cupid it's give you a match rating out of 100%. However, you never really know until you meet the person. I went on a date with a guy who was a very high match, 93%. He was cool, but he was almost TOO much like me...like, it was boring. I like to date people who are somewhat different than me! "I like guys with brown hair and dark eyes!" "HEY! Me too!" "um....excuse me?"
D-Lish Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 You know, it's funny- I share my online dating experiences at my hair salon- and my hairdresser has said in private that she has a profile- but she wouldn't tell anyone about it. Then her assistant has told me she has a profile but she would be mortified if people at work knew...lol. So many people do it. I don't love the marketing behind match.com or e-harmony. It almost feels like they are marketing to a 45 plus crowd and insinuating that you get to a time in your life when physical attraction is irrelevant. I'm not 80- I'm not looking for someone to go to the buffet with and play bridge with! You may want to try OKCupid. It has that compatibility angle along with having free access to all members. Online dating just gives you more options. You'd get a ton of messages- even with the moustache and unibrow:love:
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I kind of like people that are a bit different than I am anyway- I don't want a carbon copy of myself. he was almost TOO much like me...like, it was boring. I like to date people who are somewhat different than me! "I believe this" "Yeah, me too." "Are you gonna agree with me on everything?" "I guess so." "Is this date boring for you too?" "Mm hmm." "Bye." "Later!" ...could be a recipe for superlame. Everytime this kind of a thread comes up, it reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld's fiancee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLR-ZabrxuA 6:48 is gold. LOL I can see that going down because of one of these compatibility dates.
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