singlemom19 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 as u all may knw my ex n i have been broken up for 6 months n have been trying to work things out..we have daughter together....two days ago he called to say tht he wasnt feeling us anymore n tht he thought it was best to stop trying then tonight he calls me to tell me tht he has feelings towards this girl...they have known eachother since highschool n he has always liked her-i knew tht but now he says tht they have been hanging out alot n those feelings came back n she is starting to feel the same way...i broke down started crying n asking for him back but it didnt work...i dont knw wht to do..i have been crying nonstop for 6 hours...i dont think ill be able to let go
emmaemmatt Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Bless your heart, that is an awful situation to be in, i can only imagine it being 1000x worse when there are children involved. As hard as it is he has made his choice, you have to deal with it-harsh i know but its the truth. But let me tell you this-110% guarentee that the minute you stop answering his calls, texts and you start doing things for yourself he will be the one contacting you. And she is clearly just a rebound-my ex is doing the same thing atm, hes been contacting his summer love from 2003. It kills me to know hes contacting her but we have to be strong. Its also going to be hard to do nc with your ex for your daughters sake, but this is one of the best ways, in only 4 weeks of NC im feeling lot better and who do you think keeps calling and texting not everyday but in 4 weeks ive had 4 calls, and about 8 texts. Eachtime i take great pleasure in clicking 'DELETE' Good luck with whatever you decide to do...thinking of you xxx
nobmagnet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 thinking of you too. Its too soon to do it I expect but I insisted by e.mail he arranged for the next 12 months when he sees our kids. It means unless there is an emergency he has no reason to call/text. No contact is near impossible but dont contact him unless you have to. Keep it shory to the point and ALWAYS end the conversation. Never phone if you feel tearful. He sounds like a complete knob to me and you and you little girl will be much better of in the long run. hugs neet xx
Author singlemom19 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 thank u both so much...he is coming to pick her up today for 5 days n i cant face him...dont knw wht to do or wht to say...parts of me want to hurt him as badly as he hurt me-broke my heart 3 times but the other part is just sad n wants to give up but i knw i cant...i really loved him and we looked at rings n set a wedding date..how can u let tht go? he told me last nite bout his feelings cause he said it wasnt fair for me when he has feelings towards her...i respect tht but it doesnt make it hurt any less...i want him to be happy but then i want it to be wit me
emmaemmatt Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I know its hard tryna work out how they had a complete change of mind but it happens. Its the worse feeling in the world, i spent ages analysing every conversation me and the ex had in the weeks before trying to see where i went wrong and if there was any signs. Nope up untill the night before he still was telling me he loved me etc etc!! I think its also true that the dumper in any situation has probably checked out emotionally from the relationship a while before they actually do finish things. This kind of helps me in a weird way in understanding why he seems to be handling it so well and i am a mess. Its obviously going to be awful seeing him today and people will always say dont cry, be strong-my advice is this, if you need to cry just cry, if you need to tell him how much you still love him just do it. We all need to hit the lowest point before we can work our way up. But please dont make the mistake i did and let the sobbing to him go on for weeks and weeks, get it all out of your system asap, just say everything and cry till you dont think you have any tears left. Then hopefully you can begin to feel a little better even if it is a minute amount. Also make sure when you see him you are looking good, and this is not for his benefit even tho he will sure see what hes missing. I found i felt even a little better when i had nice washed hair even tho i was dying on the inside. Its a mental thing but it does help-promise xxx
Author singlemom19 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) he just left..it was awful...we started yelling n fighting and i threatened to keep my daughter from him...really ugly things were said from the both of us...then i started crying again n begging for him back n he said no n tht he never wanted to be wit me n i asked why all these other girls were differnent than me...he sent the girl he likes a dozen roses n he sent his ex before me flowers too...i gave birth to his daughter n not **** from him...i cant do this anymore...i told him tht i never wanted to talk to him again n he said ok...didnt even try n win me back...i hit the lowest point i said if things dont work out n u ask for me back ill say yes...i told him tht i loved him....all things tht i shouldnt have but my heart was on autopilot...he tries to hug me but i pulled back....how can i make the pain go away....i havent stopped crying n i dont eat...why is he doing so well n im not? i even dressed up n did look really cute n nothing Edited December 30, 2009 by singlemom19
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