phineas Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I really don't know what I would do without you guys here. I'm so happy that I found these forums. Love can be amazing but when you lost it......it becomes so harsh. My wife dug that knife in. She has completely shut everyone out of her life. She has even been behind on her photo studio rent for 3 months. I guess she must have been gambling the money or giving it to her new BF. I tried to talk to her parents about the situation but they've all but shunned me. As if I was the one who cheated. Their daughter cheated on me and moved him into their home. I understand that parents support their children but come on! I was part of their lives for 8 years. I helped them with anything that they needed. I had very close emotional talks with them over those 8 years and all of a sudden they turn their backs on me? I don't even know why I let myself get so worked up over this. Why do we always chase after people that don't want us? Love makes us do so many crazy things. The person who wrote "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" must have never been cheated on by their wife/husband. Love is a bitch. what you don't know is that she has demonized you to them for as long as she was contemplating an affair. trust me on this. my stbxw's father met the OM while I was camping for the weekend. She told him the guy was just a friend. He believed her. He told me he was just a friend & he believed his daughter. He doesn't believe me. He never will. She can now bring him along & claim she is seperated & leaving behind a failed marriage. Just walk away. It's tough to do but look at what's happeneing? zero respect for you. The truth comes out eventually.
LisaUk Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Lisa you're awesome. Just putting that out there because you're still kicking around after the **** you went through. I'm sort of looking back on this, even though the final straw was merely the 26th of December, and I think I honestly just want to cherish the amazing moments that we did have together. I don't want to think about the betrayal. I don't want to be dead inside. I just wished that these dreams would stop haunting me. I know that they won't for a while because I let them. It's a process I suppose. One that I will just have to deal with. I let my thoughts get to me so I've been writing them down in a journal of sorts. I think I'm going to go play some guitar now....... You guys rock. Thanks James, but I wouldn't have gotten through it as far as I have if it wasn't for the people here, check out my back threads, you can see the train wreck for yourself, including suicidal thoughts, the peole here have pulled me out from the abyss. Writing your thoughts down is a great way of dealing with things, it helps you stop asking the same questions over and over. It is a process, one that is going to take some time to go through, the dreams are par for the course unfortunately. I had them every night for a long time, then gradually they stopped. I do still have them occasionally, in fact last night! But they don't come often now.
seibert253 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 James. Have you retained an attorney? Do so, file for D, and have her served. No, have her served at work in front of all her co-workers. Time for Mr. Niceguy to go byby.
Author MetalguitarJames Posted January 7, 2010 Author Posted January 7, 2010 I would like to but I can't file now but I can't. I just moved out here to Oklahoma and for me to file for divorce I have to be a resident. It takes 6 months to become a resident. I will just have to wait for her to do it. Her "Co-Workers" were my co-workers. We all 3 worked at the same place. No one really wants anything to do with either of them there any longer. I built up quite a rapport there and built many friendships within the 4 years that I was there. She was only there for 3 months and turned everything upside down. I found out today that she's already rocking another ring. I don't give a flying f*ck anymore. What really hurt today was after speaking with her old photography partner.......was that our dog died yesterday. She didn't even message me and tell me. We got "Daisy" when we first got married 8 years ago. Some people may think "Wow....it's just a Dog". To me it's not just "a dog". That was my little girl. I remember her from just a little pup. She didn't even have the decency to tell me. I had to find out through other means. People are just so f*cking heartless. I know I will never be able to understand how someone can be that way. Without integrity or morals. It just hurts......a lot. There will be no salvation of my marriage and never will be. I will never forgive nor forget. She made her bed and I know it will fail miserably. Karma will have it's way. I keep telling myself all these things to help me....don't know if I quite believe it yet. Blind faith is something I have a hard time with. I guess I can rely on the fact that only 3% of those types of relationships actually work out. I just really miss my dog more than her right now. I will never get the chance to see my dog again. She's gone.........and my wife couldn't even tell me. I really don't understand people.......
LisaUk Posted January 7, 2010 Posted January 7, 2010 (edited) Arr James, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts, I lost my dog some years ago now and it is truely like losing a member of your family. I really am so so sorry. Sending you a massive hug. Lisa PS your w is a heartless b****h for not telling you, is there no end to this womens inhumanity, you are truely better off without her. Edited January 7, 2010 by LisaUk Spelling
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