pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 So the guy I just met, who I'm really into, who I've been wary about, he just informed me that he might have to move to another state in a few weeks. It has to do with his job and a family business. He said he's been putting off telling me (well, we have only known each other 2+ weeks) because he wasn't sure what was going on, but it just became a very real possibility and he didn't want to wait to tell me until I got back. How do I feel? I feel very sad. He's sad, too. Besides about a million other factors he doesn't want to leave, he said I am an important one, and that he doesn't want to lose me. His exact words were: "There are only so many quality people in this world, and even fewer that you want to be close to." I'm fighting the urge to just completely pull away, but the thing is: I don't want to. If he does leave, he leaves, and I just want to enjoy my time with him. Sucks though.
threebyfate Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 This is really cynical of me pandagirl but don't sleep with him, until after he's moved and you can 100% verify where he lives.
jw90063 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 So the guy I just met, who I'm really into, who I've been wary about, he just informed me that he might have to move to another state in a few weeks. It has to do with his job and a family business. He said he's been putting off telling me (well, we have only known each other 2+ weeks) because he wasn't sure what was going on, but it just became a very real possibility and he didn't want to wait to tell me until I got back. How do I feel? I feel very sad. He's sad, too. Besides about a million other factors he doesn't want to leave, he said I am an important one, and that he doesn't want to lose me. His exact words were: "There are only so many quality people in this world, and even fewer that you want to be close to." I'm fighting the urge to just completely pull away, but the thing is: I don't want to. If he does leave, he leaves, and I just want to enjoy my time with him. Sucks though. Same guy? Hmm, not to sound like a downer, but why do I get the feeling there's a good possibility he could be making this up. Also, considering things you have previously mentioned about him, I just don't know......
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 This is really cynical of me pandagirl but don't sleep with him, until after he's moved and you can 100% verify where he lives. Same guy? Hmm, not to sound like a downer, but why do I get the feeling there's a good possibility he could be making this up. Also, considering things you have previously mentioned about him, I just don't know...... Yeah, I know it sounds suspicious, but I believe he is telling the truth. I won't get into all the details -- because that'd be revealing too much information about his personal life -- but, I know where he lives currently. He would me moving back to his home state. He is diabetic, so he absolutely needs health insurance to pay for his care. If he moves back home, he could work for his dad.
alphamale Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 His exact words were: "There are only so many quality people in this world, and even fewer that you want to be close to." he's a player...he hasn't known u long enough to make that statement
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 he's a player...he hasn't known u long enough to make that statement Point taken, and it's a valid one. But haven't you ever met someone where everything clicked and felt right? I'm not saying that you are wrong, but there have been people in my life -- platonic and otherwise -- whom I have clicked with from the start, and who are still in my life today.
jw90063 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Yeah, I know it sounds suspicious, but I believe he is telling the truth. I won't get into all the details -- because that'd be revealing too much information about his personal life -- but, I know where he lives currently. He would me moving back to his home state. He is diabetic, so he absolutely needs health insurance to pay for his care. If he moves back home, he could work for his dad. Well, I'm just going by all those things you have mentioned previously. He probably isn't making up that up about having to leave, but never know. Would be a good way to break it off, if in fact he is just a player or such. Hopefully, that's not the case, but I still would be very weary about his intentions, and whether or not he is being sincere about things.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Well, that explains his speed-demon approach. Don't expect to hear from him after he 'moves'. Those are the types which make it difficult for the sincere and stable men out there.
MSUE Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 dont u think its a lil too soon? I mean I know that feeling when u meet someone and all seems just right but in reality u truly dont know who he really is and how truthful he is or isn't...it is virtually impossible to know that in 2 weeks...if I were u I'd be a lil more weary...
Crow9726 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Knowing only what she has told us about this man...why does he get trashed so easily? Knowing very little about him...why are some so quick to totally judge and sentence him? Knowing nothing of the true dynamic between them...why does he become the fodder for everyone's insecurities and suspicions? Does nobody on this site actually believe in another person's sincerity and authenticity...other than their own? Pandagirl...if he seems genuine and truthful to you...then your opinion is the only one that matters.
Bejita463 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Does nobody on this site actually believe in another person's sincerity and authenticity...other than their own? People are bastard covered bastards with a bastard filling.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Sincerity and authenticity is shown through actions. Words are just salesperson BS. Sincerity and authenticity will find this gentleman not talking a blue streak but rather routinely purchasing travel to visit our OP because he likes her so much. I'll look forward to reading about that
Vertex Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 People are bastard covered bastards with a bastard filling. I just wanted to reply to this thread to say that this comment made me LOL quite hard. To pandagirl: I echo the comments of others here -- I would not push myself too far into things, since it seems reasonable to assume that he may not make much attempt to contact you once he moves.
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 To pandagirl: I echo the comments of others here -- I would not push myself too far into things, since it seems reasonable to assume that he may not make much attempt to contact you once he moves. I wouldn't blame him. Also, I don't want to have a LDR with someone I just met. I thought about keeping in touch with him when he leaves, but I don't want to have this pressure of maintaining some semblance of a "relationship" with someone I barely know yet. I think we're both on the same page: we're going to enjoy what time we have together, and see how it all plays out. I may like him, but I'm not being naive about the situation.
alphamale Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 But haven't you ever met someone where everything clicked and felt right? sure. many. but i didn't tell them "i want to be close to you" after one week
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 This is really cynical of me pandagirl but don't sleep with him, until after he's moved and you can 100% verify where he lives. Yeah, I agree. There's something off about this guy.
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Sincerity and authenticity is shown through actions. Words are just salesperson BS. Sincerity and authenticity will find this gentleman not talking a blue streak but rather routinely purchasing travel to visit our OP because he likes her so much. I'll look forward to reading about that Honestly, I don't know if I want that kind of commitment from him.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Honestly, I don't know if I want that kind of commitment from him. he said I am an important one, and that he doesn't want to lose me. His exact words were: "There are only so many quality people in this world, and even fewer that you want to be close to."So, incompatible? Or, are you instinctively seeing this patter as BS and are only interested in the STR aspects? Whatever it is, own it 'Since you're evidently planning on moving, I don't see anything long-term happening, but would love to enjoy spending time with you until you do'. Then, don't sleep with him. Edited December 30, 2009 by carhill
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 So, incompatible? Or, are you instinctively seeing this patter as BS and are only interested in the STR aspects? Whatever it is, own it 'Since you're evidently planning on moving, I don't see anything long-term happening, but would love to enjoy spending time with you until you do'. Then, don't sleep with him. I don't think he is feeding me BS. He could be, but the main reason I think he is being sincere is because he willingly and patiently listens to me and communicates with me. Or maybe he is a REALLLLLY good BSer. haha. I just want to enjoy my time with him, and let myself not be afraid to like him.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Either way, a non-invested STR is a win. When is he leaving?
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Either way, a non-invested STR is a win. When is he leaving? Mid to late January. I don't even get back to NY for another week, so if he does leave, we'll only have 2-3 weeks together. I know everyone thinks he is super suspect -- and I appreciate the opinions -- but I feel completely at ease with him. Most importantly, I feel like I can be my authentic self with him. I feel strong and confident about myself around him.
carhill Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Guy: 'I'm having such a great time with you. It seems so natural. I sure will miss you when I return home' to my family, wife and child, but I will come back and visit once in awhile If you want the truth, when I see what this guy is doing, as a man who's seen it so much in his life, the above is what immediately comes to mind. Something tells me a couple of female respondents here are thinking the same thing. If this was someone you had known for many years, or even a few years, then I would feel differently. Regardless, if you focus on shared time and refrain from investing emotions or sex into the mix, it should be fulfilling and fun. Enjoy
xpaperxcutx Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I call his BS. If he's moving, or anyone else for that matter, it's definitely not a last minute notice. If he's renting, he has to break his lease or contact the owner, move furniture, etc... He had to know he was moving beforehand.
Author pandagirl Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Guy: 'I'm having such a great time with you. It seems so natural. I sure will miss you when I return home' to my family, wife and child, but I will come back and visit once in awhile I am 110% sure he is not married or have children. I call his BS. If he's moving, or anyone else for that matter, it's definitely not a last minute notice. If he's renting, he has to break his lease or contact the owner, move furniture, etc... He had to know he was moving beforehand. I think he probably knew it was something that could happen, but seeing we've only been dating for two weeks, I don't think he was going to bring it up until it become a real possibility.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think he probably knew it was something that could happen, but seeing we've only been dating for two weeks, I don't think he was going to bring it up until it become a real possibility. Okay good reason, but then why even date? If he knows he's moving out of state he could have at least waited until he has settled down in his new home. Why risk the " possibility" of being in e.g. a relationship if the chances of it being LDR is higher than not?
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