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i just cant get over her


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Posted
i'm not sure i could even talk to her right now

 

I meant talk to us;)

  • Author
Posted
I meant talk to us;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yes of course (duh) thank you

Posted

In my case I had a 10 year relationship with a woman who I adored and I know she also adored me too, but there were things in our relationship that got in the way . Like you I made mistakes, but she also made mistakes that could have sent me running for the hills too. We got back together once after she split with me for another guy.. about 6 years ago. She cheated on me and I thought of it but did'nt I decided Im going to take a week off and not think about her, worry about her look at her pictures, miss her , lust after her. think of how we could fix it , nothing Its been 15 weeks I feel right now very exausted about it all. Dont think she didnt make mistakes too. Any mistake she made you reacted to and at the time i'm sure you did your best Lets be realistic here. If you've been together for 6 years alot has happened To get over it you will need to heal and I think another relationship is a must . Some of us just do better when we're not alone . If its been 4 months we are both around the same place in our recovery.I want her back but only half as bad as I did two months ago Try pushing it aside for a few days . And find a big project to do , Besides working .

  • 1 month later...
  • Author
Posted
. If its been 4 months we are both around the same place in our recovery.I want her back but only half as bad as I did two months ago Try pushing it aside for a few days . And find a big project to do , Besides working .

 

 

I'm glad you're doing better. I'm trying your suggestions. I guess people just get over relationships at different rates. It just seems no matter what I do I cant get here off my mind, and it's slowly driving me insane.

Posted

i feel you man. at about 5 months. not sure what to do. almost want to contact her again. but i know i wont because i have nothing to say...

Posted

Its been nearly 4 months since I told my ex of 3 years we could not be friends and cut her off. She was pissed but refused to reconcile and I refused to settle for being friends so we went our seperate way.

 

One simple, perhaps odd, thing I did to regain my confidence is I bought a jar and everyday I don't contact her I put a peanut M & M in it (because I don't like peanut ones I'm not tempted to eat them). The jar is pretty full now!

 

When I'm feeling weak, I look back at 4 months of M & M's and I can actually see the results of my resolve and confidence. If I contacted her, I'd have to empty the jar and that I cannot do.

 

It may be really stupid but its a visual reminder of my progress and growth after cutting someone out of my life who did not value me the way I valued her. Maybe it will help someone else!

Posted

I like that MMK1. Having a visual reminder instead of a number in your head is a great way to reinforce your hard work.

  • Author
Posted

have either of you guys caved on the NC thing yet?

Posted (edited)

I am glad to have found this post. Just like all the prior posts, I'm fortunate to find this site bc Im sure my friends are tired of hearing about my sad story. Although I'm almost two months into NC after a two year relationship, I'm starting to realize the signs that I was so blinded to see near the end of the relationship, and now I know that I will not be blind to that again.

 

Reading that I'm not the only one makes me feel a little better. This has been the longest that I've been so bummed after a breakup, and like all of you, it's because I gave so much into the relationship and am going thru withdrawls. It pisses me off that there are people like that who take our love and everything for granted and "swing from tree to tree" without any remorse. In the end, the nice, supportive guys who do everything that are right in a relationship, are the ones that get burned the hardest.

 

It sucks because I want to forget her, but at the same time, I don't.

Edited by just1guy
Posted

I feel your pain Just1guy. I can tell you that it does get easier. Try not to focus on how your ex could so easily toss you away. You'll never truly know what is going on inside their head. When your thoughts turn to memories of her, force yourself to focus on a future with someone who will appreciate you for who you are. That day will come. I've been through this several times and each I thought I would not get through it, I did!

Posted

I have not contacted her since 10/24/09, but I do see her 1-2x a month for business, but we rarely exchange anything more than a "hi" or "hey" in passing and we NEVER stop and chat.

 

She is still pissed and can't understand why I wouldn't accept her meager offering of sporadic friendship. My LS friends, please dont do that!

 

I have a new girl who is younger, hotter and, more importantly, really cares about me. You will find one, too!

Posted
I have not contacted her since 10/24/09, but I do see her 1-2x a month for business, but we rarely exchange anything more than a "hi" or "hey" in passing and we NEVER stop and chat.

 

She is still pissed and can't understand why I wouldn't accept her meager offering of sporadic friendship. My LS friends, please dont do that!

 

I have a new girl who is younger, hotter and, more importantly, really cares about me. You will find one, too![/QUOTE]

 

thats real love*sarcasm*

 

No wonder most relationships don't last.

Posted
I have not contacted her since 10/24/09, but I do see her 1-2x a month for business, but we rarely exchange anything more than a "hi" or "hey" in passing and we NEVER stop and chat.

 

She is still pissed and can't understand why I wouldn't accept her meager offering of sporadic friendship. My LS friends, please dont do that!

 

I have a new girl who is younger, hotter and, more importantly, really cares about me. You will find one, too!

 

thats real love*sarcasm*

 

No wonder most relationships don't last.

Yep, that's what came to mind as well when I read that.

Posted

Hey skydiveaddict...finally read through your thread here to get your story...hope you're doing well with the NC...

  • Author
Posted
Hey skydiveaddict...finally read through your thread here to get your story...hope you're doing well with the NC...

 

 

Thx Devil Dog. N.C going well.

Posted

Tough crowd. The point is you will meet someone else who will be better to you and for you.

Posted
Tough crowd. The point is you will meet someone else who will be better to you and for you.

 

True. All we can do is learn from our experience and make the best of it. The sooner you can move on and stop pining over someone who didn't love you enough... the better.

 

Putting yourself out there again is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself.

 

Because of my need for friendship and resolution (in general), I am not particularly good at NC and have broken down a few times. I'm "fortunate" that his silence reinforces my need to move on. It's a reality check that he doesn't deserve my love and forgiveness whatsoever.

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