Stung Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I find it strange, how very few people who responded to this thread, can't begin to grasp why I or anyone else, may feel oddly about a male getting into Nursing. Funny how, after asking my share of friends and family since yesterday. Responses were "well, I don't know....kind of weird". "Well, it's not too common". That's the kind of response you get in the REAL world. So, I guess me and ShadowPlay, need some therapy huh, since we were one of the only few people to dislike the idea of a male nurse. Perhaps you will think this is rude too, although I don't mean it to be. I think it is worth noting, however, that you are confusing 'the real world' with your little corner of it. Your friends and family are but a minute sampling of society and the majority of them will obviously be heavily biased by the same environmental circumstances that have lead to the formation of your own opinion. I can assure you that I, too, live in the real world. My experiences and environment have been different from yours, because it's a big freaking world with some variety in it. And I can assure you that none of my own circle of family and friends find male nurses strange or undesirable. I dated a male nursing student, and nobody batted an eyelash. A good friend of mine is married to a male nurse...although he is also in the Air Force, so perhaps that gives him back his masculinity in your interpretation, idk. Another good friend (female) is back in school getting her RN and her Masters in Nursing at the same time; she's very pretty and she's got quite a few male nursing students she studies with, something her husband was grumping about the other day. Obviously you can have whatever preferences and dating criteria you like. I'm sorry you've been bashed a bit in this thread, but remember, you did ask for honesty . And for the record, I don't think you dislike or disrespect the nursing profession, although I did wonder if you understood what it really involved, as some people still think of nurses essentially as clerks who also clean bedpans. However, I do think you accept, from my POV, kind of limiting gender roles. Maybe you should start challenging some of your own ideas about gender and social roles, it's a good mental exercise if nothing else.
stillafool Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Was just on my lovely dating site Plenty of Sh*T. Oops I mean Plenty of Fish. This might sound bad, but I'm curious what other people think of this. Would it bother you if a man was going into Nursing or going to become a Nurse as his profession? I know it's better than no career or job at all, but is it bad I would hesitant to date a man who wanted to do this. The reason I'm asking is, I just got a message from a guy who is studying Nursing, and it made me realize it's kind of a turn off to me. It just seems odd. What about you? Not one bit. I'd be happy he has a job and is doing something worthwhile.
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Why does physical and/or emotional/mental caretaking as a profession turn you off? I'm not attracted to caretakers, and I can only assume that a guy with such a profession would be the caretaker type in a relationship. I want somebody who is emotionally supportive, of course, but not to quite that degree. It's also that I'm most attracted to guys who devote their life to something creative (and this could even be in many different fields, including science, medicine).
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think the only reason anyone would have a problem with a male nurse is only the name. Its like the guy named Stacy. The job is not gender oriented its just gender dominated. Doesnt mean its immasculine to take care of people in a hospital. If the male nurse was called an "Enfermist", no one would have a problem with it. Sooner or later the term "nurse" will be phased out as more men go into it. Not necessarily so. See my post above.
sally4sara Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I'm not attracted to caretakers, and I can only assume that a guy with such a profession would be the caretaker type in a relationship. I want somebody who is emotionally supportive, of course, but not to quite that degree. It's also that I'm most attracted to guys who devote their life to something creative (and this could even be in many different fields, including science, medicine). Can you see how this has played out in your relationships? Was it a healthy situation?
CaliGuy Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Was just on my lovely dating site Plenty of Sh*T. Oops I mean Plenty of Fish. This might sound bad, but I'm curious what other people think of this. Would it bother you if a man was going into Nursing or going to become a Nurse as his profession? I know it's better than no career or job at all, but is it bad I would hesitant to date a man who wanted to do this. The reason I'm asking is, I just got a message from a guy who is studying Nursing, and it made me realize it's kind of a turn off to me. It just seems odd. What about you? I think you're too picky. If he's a great guy, what does it matter? Corpsmen in the Navy are essentially nurses. Do you think they are any less manly? As a former US Marine, I can tell you that you feel a little better going into battle knowing there are Corpsmen around, that's fo'sho!
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Can you see how this has played out in your relationships? Was it a healthy situation? Yeah, my first serious relationship was with a caretaker type, and it didn't work at all for me. I just don't find it attractive.
Mary3 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Realistically, how could you not see how that could be bothersome to someone, if your spouse examined women's private areas daily? I . You DO realize there are also female gynocologists right ? And if my husband were a Gyno , I would have the maturity to understand he wasn't touching female genetalia because he was getting a thrill out of it , but rather because he was a DOCTOR OF MEDICINE who's job it would be to dianose and treat female illness / ailments . I think most gyno's reading your post would be offended , considering all the years of school and training they have gone through.
sally4sara Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Yeah, my first serious relationship was with a caretaker type, and it didn't work at all for me. I just don't find it attractive. I get that and understand. What I think I'm trying to ask is do you feel drawn to healthy relationship where you are cared for or do you feel drawn to relationships that leave you diminished. Do you feel self loathing and feel it manifests by the people you're drawn to and the relationships you have with them? I guess I'm asking if perhaps you are made uncomfortable by a man who would love you enough to take care of you if you fell ill? If so, it would indicate your attraction is based less on the male nurse's occupation and more about you and your self worth. Does that make sense?
betamanlet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I'm not attracted to caretakers, and I can only assume that a guy with such a profession would be the caretaker type in a relationship. I want somebody who is emotionally supportive, of course, but not to quite that degree. It's also that I'm most attracted to guys who devote their life to something creative (and this could even be in many different fields, including science, medicine). How are male nurses not dedicating their lives to medicine? Do you have issues with investment portfolio managers? They are the caretakers of people's investments. What about trustees? They are the caretaker of the trust.
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I get that and understand. What I think I'm trying to ask is do you feel drawn to healthy relationship where you are cared for or do you feel drawn to relationships that leave you diminished. Do you feel self loathing and feel it manifests by the people you're drawn to and the relationships you have with them? I guess I'm asking if perhaps you are made uncomfortable by a man who would love you enough to take care of you if you fell ill? If so, it would indicate your attraction is based less on the male nurse's occupation and more about you and your self worth. Does that make sense? No, not at all. I love a guy who can be supportive and sensitive, and who makes me feel protected. Yet too sensitive just doesn't strike me as masculine, hence a turn off. My preference is a balance that's tipped towards slightly more sensitive than average. Of course I'd love it if a guy took care of me when ill. But I'm talking about how a guy acts in the normal course of a relationship, when I don't need his care. Is he too eager to please and take care of me? That's not something I usually find appealing.
betamanlet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Yeah, my first serious relationship was with a caretaker type, and it didn't work at all for me. I just don't find it attractive. And I get criticized for making a generalization out of an experience I had had several times, and you don't for making a generalization out of one experience? Dated one male caretaker, therefore they must all be that way?
betamanlet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 No, not at all. I love a guy who can be supportive and sensitive, and who makes me feel protected. Yet too sensitive just doesn't strike me as masculine, hence a turn off. My preference is a balance that's tipped towards slightly more sensitive than average. Of course I'd love it if a guy took care of me when ill. But I'm talking about how a guy acts in the normal course of a relationship, when I don't need his care. Is he too eager to please and take care of me? That's not something I usually find appealing. The nice guys out there will LOVE this post.. LOL.
Golfilla Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) The nice guys out there will LOVE this post.. LOL. It's just a pity you're not one of them, right? Edited December 30, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 How are male nurses not dedicating their lives to medicine? Do you have issues with investment portfolio managers? They are the caretakers of people's investments. What about trustees? They are the caretaker of the trust. They're dedicating themselves to medicine, but they're usually not creating in the sense that I mean. I guess if a male nurse were responsible for inventing things in his profession that would be pretty hot. I love a man who creates -- whether his creations are ideas or tangible objects. That's my preference. Deal with it.
sally4sara Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 The nice guys out there will LOVE this post.. LOL. Did I miss something? Where did she say she wants a guy to mistreat her and crap all over her with no regard at all?
betamanlet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 They're dedicating themselves to medicine, but they're usually not creating in the sense that I mean. I guess if a male nurse were responsible for inventing things in his profession that would be pretty hot. I love a man who creates -- whether his creations are ideas or tangible objects. That's my preference. Deal with it. But you'd have no problem with a a doctor who doesn't create or invent things, he just treats patients? Are you sure you're not trying to conver up an issue of status with the veil of "creativity"?
shadowplay Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 But you'd have no problem with a a doctor who doesn't create or invent things, he just treats patients? Are you sure you're not trying to conver up an issue of status with the veil of "creativity"? I'd have a problem with anybody who used no creativity in their profession, whatever it was, unless they poured that creativity and passion into something on the side. But there are two issues for me. The creativity and the care taking. The creativity I can forgo, while the care taking is probably dealbreaker.
sally4sara Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I think for Shadow and the OP, JWsomething?, the job of a nurse is one of nurturing. Makes sense, the latin root is the same so the job is viewed as one of a nurturer. They have been influenced through old fashioned views of women being nurturers. But we don't know for sure if men should refrain from the role of caretaker until we accept their exploration of it. Judgment can be an obstacle.
Heekee Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Was just on my lovely dating site Plenty of Sh*T. Oops I mean Plenty of Fish. This might sound bad, but I'm curious what other people think of this. Would it bother you if a man was going into Nursing or going to become a Nurse as his profession? I know it's better than no career or job at all, but is it bad I would hesitant to date a man who wanted to do this. The reason I'm asking is, I just got a message from a guy who is studying Nursing, and it made me realize it's kind of a turn off to me. It just seems odd. What about you? Being a Nurse is a very respectable profession regardless of ones gender.
Stung Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 No, not at all. I love a guy who can be supportive and sensitive, and who makes me feel protected. Yet too sensitive just doesn't strike me as masculine, hence a turn off. My preference is a balance that's tipped towards slightly more sensitive than average. Of course I'd love it if a guy took care of me when ill. But I'm talking about how a guy acts in the normal course of a relationship, when I don't need his care. Is he too eager to please and take care of me? That's not something I usually find appealing. I'd guess that's not something you would have to worry about with too many nurses. They take care of people ALL DAY, they don't necessarily want to have to come home and take care of your azz too . Plus, you know, depending on specialty, many aspects of the nursing profession can be blood and guts and high-energy trauma, it's not just handholding and chicken soup. It's my own experience that nurses tend to be kind but also pretty no-nonsense, practical, hands-on, hardcore types rather than simpering pleasers. But again, that's just my experience with those in that profession.
skydiveaddict Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 He was asked that already. But he never answered. i'm pretty sure they were male nurses
skydiveaddict Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 btw, i thought that everyone was aware of the undisputed fact all, yes i mean ALL male nurses are homosexuals. if you dont believe me, just ask alpha. he dated three of them after all
meerkat stew Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 My number was only in the hundreds, not 800s.... And my husband (the one who was having sex with other men), was 6'6", 320 pounds, so I guess the answer is only One. Although I have certainly been with gentlemen who are on the substantial side. Was teasing about the 800, was just wondering if your attraction to sumo has a sexual component and could same be verbalized?
Author jw90063 Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I get that and understand. I couldn't resist...... Sally, you seem to "get that" and understand Shadow Play's views, when her thoughts are not any less debatable than mine. Though... seems like you are defending her views right off the bat? She also stated same goes for a psychologist and social worker, as in she wouldn't date men in those professions. Sounds to me it's a total deal breaker to her, but though I get more bashing, after admitting I wouldn't completely brush off a guy because of his profession. Kind of obvious now, that some people give others less crap, if they have no resentment against them already(hint...from other threads). Betamanlet, no wouldn't not date a date over the type of car he owns or any other of that malarkey you came up with. :rolleyes:My last BF drove a really crappy car. To be honest, it did kind of bother me under certain circumstances, more so because it was noisy due to the car's condition. Did I not date him because of this? No..... I would never brush off a guy, because of the car he drives and other reasons you have brought up. Try getting your facts straight before bashing someone. People keep throwing in the comments about nursing being a very respectable profession. Where did I say it wasn't? My first post, did mention I felt kind of "bad" because of male nursing not appealing to me. Being I did admit to feeling a little ashamed of my preferences, I almost get a sense a couple of you were having a go at me due to this...in further attempt to make me feel ashamed of my desires or preferences. I think some people feed on that sort of thing. The OP seems to have backwards thinking in many regards and while she accuses me of hijacking the thread, I think my point aptly depicts that she has some backwards thinking in being open to other people's point of view to A bit hypocritical, eh? Not once have I seen you try to be understandable or acceptable of my view points on why I feel the way I do about male nursing. Actually, some of you never seemed to once try understand why I "may" feel this way. At least, I am being reasonable enough to admit, I wouldn't completely disapprove of a guy just because of his profession, as a Nurse.
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