Author WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 anyhoo, it just saddens me that you have a WIFE and CHILDREN that are "waiting" for their HUSBAND and DADDY to (Tony won't allow me to say that one should remove their noggin from their bung hole anymore) Well.... yes its a bad situation all around. I wish it were as easy as to simply "1)remove noggin from lower orifice". Just turn it all off and come to the realization that I'm having a (factor of 7) year itch. But its not. Regardless of how it works out in my M, I will still be a dad. I will still be a good dad. SD, its taken you a while to get here. It bothers me to hear you say that it "saddens" you and then bring my kids into this, I've seen that from BS's. It seems kind of like you're judging me. Once again, no disrespect intended here. I know our situations have their differences, but they do have their similarities as well. It's going to take me a while to to work all this out too. Love is messy. Let me have my time. Chilleys on me.
stampdaddy Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Well.... yes its a bad situation all around. I wish it were as easy as to simply "1)remove noggin from lower orifice". Just turn it all off and come to the realization that I'm having a (factor of 7) year itch. But its not. Regardless of how it works out in my M, I will still be a dad. I will still be a good dad. SD, its taken you a while to get here. It bothers me to hear you say that it "saddens" you and then bring my kids into this, I've seen that from BS's. It seems kind of like you're judging me. Once again, no disrespect intended here. I know our situations have their differences, but they do have their similarities as well. It's going to take me a while to to work all this out too. Love is messy. Let me have my time. Chilleys on me. SCHWING BATTER! Free Chili Dogs.... You are correct, as I said, I didnt have the same "dynamic" of having the wife and kids at home to deal with, I was single. BUT, I know now (of course looking back) and just like Confused 4 Now said in another post, that we TOOK AWAY from our kids during our affairs... I am not judging you at all, please dont take it that way, that wouldnt be cool to do. I guess if I come across like there is a "switch" you can flip, I apologize, maybe I just wish there were, so others dont spend the same amount (or ANY amount) of time going through this heart ache.. I will take a Blue Moon please
Author WhereToGoFromHere Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 I guess if I come across like there is a "switch" you can flip, I apologize, maybe I just wish there were, so others dont spend the same amount (or ANY amount) of time going through this heart ache.. Agreed, and well said. I too wish there was a switch. It would sure make this easier for all of us, huh? Best of luck SD!
summerautumn Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Hi WTGFH, I am sorry you are going through so much anguish. If I may suggest one thing it is to look at redefining what your definition of love is. You feel that your love for OW is what is causing all this unbearable situation. You also said that you feel that you cannot say No to her and that you don't want to hurt her. But inadvertently you are hurting her in the process of hurting yourself and the families. My definition of love is the absence of fear, love as a feeling without an opposite. Love doesn't turn into attack at one moment. Not attack towards her nor attack towards yourself. Also, love is not the equivalent of Yes. You can love someone and very simply say No, and that No doesn't carry the same emotional heaviness that a normal No we are used to has. You can say No to her in a most loving manner. Love doesn't cause pain. Our egos cause us pain when we don't get what our egos are so intent on getting.
Brokenlady Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 We also know the success rate of relationships that start like this, with lies and deception. I read here some one said 3%? Not very good. 97% fail, seriously? So we D our SO's, our new relationship fails, and we have lost everything. Kids are stuck in the middle. Been there, done that and am gearing up to burn the t-shirt. Your concern about this isn't unwarranted. Whatever decision you make about your marriage really needs to be completely seperate (and made 1st) before any decision about MOW.
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