ladymistique Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Okay, survived Christmas but barely. How to get past New Year's? Tips are more than welcome. And while I am keeping busy and for the most part enjoying myself, the misery spells are reoccurring and intense.
emmaemmatt Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Yep i hear you...I find calling friends helps, even every 2 hours if that what it takes. It takes your mind off it if only for a few minutes. Also I dont know if you are much of a reader? I have read a few books since october..it really does pass the time.
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Hey, just keep doing what you're doing I suppose, knowing that you got so far, not sure of your situation though. If it helps I got rhrough Xmas too, got dumped in Sept, back together at home just 4 weeks ago, she went to her mum's for xmas and called me 2 days ago to tell me it's over despite things being great lately. Spent my 1st Xmas alone worrying about us then told it's over on the phone! Misert constant here but I hear from some very wise people on here it gets better! Dare I say happy New Year to you?!
sean1970 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 2 750ml bottles of Vodka (Kettle One if you can afford it), 1 gallon orange Juice, bag of ice, little umbrella for color.
Author ladymistique Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 emmaemmatt, thanks for the tips. I will definitely pick up the phone. Thankfully, I am an avid reader and have a stack of books to help me out if things get hairy. Hope the holiday season takes it easy on you. lostboyuk, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. 2 days before Christmas is harsh. Keep posting, those wise people are right. Even though I am in a funk right now, time does make it better. Happy New Year! I am certain that it will be a good one for us both. sean1970, I like the way you think. Nothing like alcohol poisoning to take the edge off, lol. How are you doing, btw?
ditched Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 i've been stressing about New Years for months now. I'm afraid to make plans because i worry that i'm just going to be a miserable puddle of woe, and would probably rather not embarass myself. however, while talking about new years and the emotional stress it provokes, a friend said to me, "Nothing really feels as good on New Years, as going to bed well before midnight, and waking up the next morning, comfortable in your own bed after a good nights sleep" i think i might take this route, because at least i'd be taking control of my evening. watch some tv after dinner and have some wine or beer, and just go to bed. and just refuse to let it affect me. easier said than done, i know. But i think this is my best option.
PinkToes Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 The NYEs I've spent alone have actually been much better than the ones where I wasn't in the mood but forced myself to go to a party. Partially because once you show up, you're pretty much stuck until midnight, and that can be brutal! What has worked for me when it seems like a tough night ahead is to plan a lot of things I enjoy, things just for me. Maybe get a little extra exercise that day, so you're more tired at night. Fix a great dinner, or pick up takeout. Rent a movie, take a long bath, buy trashy magazines, bake cupcakes, whatever you enjoy. Write a list of wishes for the new year. Sometimes just planning ahead and going through the motions is half the battle. And whatever happens, remember that it's just one night. It will be over before you know it.
D-Lish Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Def lean on friends- that is what has gotten me through the tough times. I broke up with someone last year just before x-mas because he was pulling away and I decided to end it. I just booked a trip to Florida and took off by myself for a week. It was liberating. I'd do that again in a heartbeat. You can do it, you can get through the holidays.
Kantor Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Def lean on friends- that is what has gotten me through the tough times. I broke up with someone last year just before x-mas because he was pulling away and I decided to end it. I just booked a trip to Florida and took off by myself for a week. It was liberating. I'd do that again in a heartbeat. That sounds like a great idea, I could and should utilize my flight benefits... Little vacation could be just what the doctor ordered.
MinTea Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 I have a friend who usually throws a small New Years party each year. She is unable to host this year, so I decided to take her spot as hostess. I've been busy with cooking, finding movies, finding games, cleaning, etc... It's been keeping my mind off of my single-ness. It's also serving as a confidence boost for me as well. I'm going to make sure that my guests have a great night, so I don't have time to dwell on my ex! I'm sure that my friends will appreciate my company on New Years Eve more than my ex would anyway, so my friends are the ones who deserve my love and energy! I know that planning this party has been stressful for me, but I'd rather tackle this party than wallow in my heartache any day. If it's too late for you to get a party together, maybe you could cook up something for a party that you might be going to? Maybe make it something a little more difficult than you usually make? It might help to bring out that extra sense of accomplishment. (I know that my break up has been making me feel like I can't do anything lately) Then your friends or family can say, "Wow, this is great! You're so amazing!!!" And you can say, "Yes, yes I am." (You don't need an significant other to be amazing) Or, if you're not going to any parties... You can still cook your little heart out and deliver your delicious treats to friends and family on New Years Day. I think some giving and chatting is a wonderful way to spend the first day of the new year. When the holidays were approaching, I had this guilty feeling that going out and having fun was going to be disrespectful in some way to the loss of my relationship. So I'd put on a happy face with company and cry my eyes out when I was alone from feeling so guilty... but I've been reminding myself now that I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. I've even been saying this aloud, over and over to myself sometimes until it would sink in (in private though... otherwise I would just look silly). I'm not saying that I'm completely fine with my situation right now... but hey, it's the holidays! I'm not going to let anyone or anything ruin this time for me!
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