Boyfriend cheated?

[layercakegal]

Hi everyone, im sorry this is long

 

I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 2 and a half years, ever since July 2007, i am 22 and he is 21. He cheated on me in March 2008, and I found out in October 2008 through a friend.

 

Now, my boyfriend is the most lovely, gentlemanly person ever, but we have stupid fights a lot and for most of our relationship have been in an LDR but now live in the same city (i was away at uni but have now finished and moved back home).

 

He really really really is the opposite of the type of person you would expect to cheat, so much so that when my friend told me i flat out thought they was lying and couldnt believe why they would say such a thing.

 

My boyfriend said that it was 1 night, he was drunk, felt unwanted as id just said i didnt think it was a good idea to move down to the city where i was living (with his friend) and this woman was part of the group of workmates hed gone out with that night.

 

Ever since i found out he spent 3 hours every week on a train coming down to see me on his days off, spending £50 on his ticket, and a lot of the time coming down after finishing work at 8 at night, getting to where i lived at midnight, then a couple of days later getting a train at 8 in the morning then spending another 3 hours to get home for his shift that day at 12 noon, when he could have easily gone the night before which would have been easier for him.

 

I love him so much, but have so much trouble trusting him. Hes naturally not a very touchy feely, emotional person, and i can see that thats the way hes been brought up from how his parents are.

 

Im the opposite however, and hes tried to be the perfect boyfriend and change to being more touchy feely, and i feel like hes really trying and changing for me and is so perfect in so many ways, but silly stuff like him drinking with his friends worries me incase something happens

 

He has only been out on the town maybe 3/4 times since it happened, because he knows that i really really worry, so most of the time he just drinks at his friends house after work.

 

I just want to be able to trust him - he says that nothing has ever happened again, im the only one for him, it was a mistake, he loves me, and that im the one.

 

I just want everything to be ok i wonder if i should just give him a break

[someotherguy]

So you've known about the cheating for more than a year, you still don't trust him, and you're wondering what you should do?

 

I think your lack of trust is your instincts telling you what to do, and you need to move on and find a guy who deserves you.

 

You deserve someone who is more "your pace", that you don't have to try to change to click with.

 

Frankly, it's not fair to either of you for him to have to change to make you happy, nor for you to have to try to deal with his cheating if it makes you uncomfortable, which it apparently does.

 

You're young, it feels like the end of the world, but it isn't. Trust me, you'll get over him and be much happier in the long run.