selena_cat Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) Since i'm seeing loads of posts here about ex contacting the dumpee i thought i should post mines. I will make it short,he is the reason why i asked why do exes throw crumbs. He wanted to know how come i havent contacted him at all and that he was injured fixing the roof of his house. Now he was the one who said he would call back after ourshort conversation,which was two weeks ago! This isnt the firrst time he's done this Should i reply and read him the riot act or not? ? I dont want to be pulled anymore into any cat games that he loves to play now that i am feeling better, even though part of me is happy to hear from him,gotta be honest. Edited December 29, 2009 by selena_cat
Ilovecake Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I don't quite understand what it is you are replying to (he did call you back or not? This isn’t the first time he’s done what?) but whatever it is I would say don't do it.
Author selena_cat Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Sorry i wasnt clear.This isnt the first time he acted flaky and didnt call back when he said he would and then dissapear.
Ilovecake Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 That's what I thought but wasn't sure. I would say just leave it alone. If you read the posts on here you'll see that this is very common behavior for a dumper to all of a sudden try to reestablish contact and then pull back. It happened to me and many others. Most likely he’s just trying to keep some of the power by pulling you back in. Even though you’re still carrying a torch for him I would say the best thing for you is just to blow him off for good but it's easier said than done. P.S. Your cat is very cute, looks just like mine.
sean1970 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Should i reply and read him the riot act or not? ? Regarding?
LovelyDaze Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 That's what I thought but wasn't sure. I would say just leave it alone. If you read the posts on here you'll see that this is very common behavior for a dumper to all of a sudden try to reestablish contact and then pull back. It happened to me and many others. Most likely he’s just trying to keep some of the power by pulling you back in. Even though you’re still carrying a torch for him I would say the best thing for you is just to blow him off for good but it's easier said than done. My ex has done his consistently. I honestly had one friend say that she wishes her ex would always try to contact her all the time...um, no you don't is what I want to say. My ex came to my home last night and asked (again!) to wait for him when he comes back from Afghanistan. He said he really doesn't want me dating anyone else because he knows he and his fiance' will break up. Absurd, right? Crumbs is what my ex tries to offer...but I think I'll wait for someone special to offer the full meal.
trueblue72ny Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 interesting observation there are lots of posts about their x's contacting them...i know i have heard from mine! i say just tell him you said YOU would call -not ME jacka$$!!! lol
Author selena_cat Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Regarding? why it took so long for him to call me back,since he thinks i myself avoided him,but bcuz of your question then its no biggie I guess. Lovely daze that one you need to toss him back to the wolves if there are ones in Afghanistan since its suppose to be a Mountainous region,mine should be tossed the same too! true Blue thats a good one! Edited December 30, 2009 by selena_cat
LovelyDaze Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 why it took so long for him to call me back,since he thinks i myself avoided him,but bcuz of your question then its no biggie I guess. Lovely daze that one you need to toss him back to the wolves if there are ones in Afghanistan since its suppose to be a Mountainous region,mine should be tossed the same too! true Blue thats a good one! LOL! I know, right?! This is supposed to be a dream come true but it STILL is a nightmare. He only wants me as a backup girlfriend IN CASE he dumps his fiance'. My ex is a bastard.
Author selena_cat Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 lovely Daze, your guy does soun dliek a creep,the nerve of people,then they all got nerves anyway! hope you dont let that ruin your New Years!
LovelyDaze Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 lovely Daze, your guy does soun dliek a creep,the nerve of people,then they all got nerves anyway! hope you dont let that ruin your New Years! No way, selena_cat.2010 is going to be a year I know I will love! I just wrestle with why I fell in love with this idiot and am saddened that I made myself a fool for him even after the red flags popped up. I am going into this new decade with a clear mind and a fresh new outlook. I will not get saddled with someone else's crappy baggage again!
Ilovecake Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 My ex has done his consistently. I honestly had one friend say that she wishes her ex would always try to contact her all the time...um, no you don't is what I want to say. My ex came to my home last night and asked (again!) to wait for him when he comes back from Afghanistan. He said he really doesn't want me dating anyone else because he knows he and his fiance' will break up. Absurd, right? Crumbs is what my ex tries to offer...but I think I'll wait for someone special to offer the full meal. Just curious but how does it make you feel when he does that? Are you angry, hopeful, sad, confused? My ex didn't go to such extremes and never said he wanted to be back with me but he would do weird nice things for me and it would just piss me off. He was really into the whole let's be friends thing but that's only because we hang around the same people and he didn't want to be uncomfortable when we were both out somewhere. Whenever he got on the let’s be friends kick, I would first feel hopeful that maybe he’s thinking about us but then I would realize how selfish the whole let’s be friends is and would get extremely angry. Last time I went off on him so bad that we’ve been NC for 6 months and I know we will never speak to or acknowledge each other again.
trueblue72ny Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Whenever he got on the let’s be friends kick, I would first feel hopeful that maybe he’s thinking about us but then I would realize how selfish the whole let’s be friends is and would get extremely angry. Last time I went off on him so bad that we’ve been NC for 6 months and I know we will never speak to or acknowledge each other again. this is exactly how i feel at this moment- i got so flippn angry yesterday towards my ex over this same exact thing! she keeps saying its all good, and is on this friends kick. no its not all good! not at all.
Ilovecake Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I got the: "I'm so glad we're talking again. I really miss you in my life and you're a great person to talk to. I just want you to know I'm over all the petty stuff." My response: "Which petty stuff are you talking about here? You dumping me on my birthday, you dumping me for a girl 16 years younger than me, you telling me I'm unlovable, you lying to me for 4 years, you being purposly mean to me because you were too chicken to break up with me, you telling me you didn't sign up for a relationship with someone who's sick when I got out of the hospital?"
DenverBachelor Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 I got the: "I'm so glad we're talking again. I really miss you in my life and you're a great person to talk to. I just want you to know I'm over all the petty stuff." My response: "Which petty stuff are you talking about here? You dumping me on my birthday, you dumping me for a girl 16 years younger than me, you telling me I'm unlovable, you lying to me for 4 years, you being purposly mean to me because you were too chicken to break up with me, you telling me you didn't sign up for a relationship with someone who's sick when I got out of the hospital?" Wow. That's all I really have to say about that. Just wow.
nobmagnet Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 ilovecake. What an evil nasty git!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey who thinks he should get Sh*t of the year 2009???????????? He gets my vote!!
foxh1234 Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Since i'm seeing loads of posts here about ex contacting the dumpee i thought i should post mines. I will make it short,he is the reason why i asked why do exes throw crumbs. He wanted to know how come i havent contacted him at all and that he was injured fixing the roof of his house. Now he was the one who said he would call back after ourshort conversation,which was two weeks ago! This isnt the firrst time he's done this Should i reply and read him the riot act or not? ? I dont want to be pulled anymore into any cat games that he loves to play now that i am feeling better, even though part of me is happy to hear from him,gotta be honest. Hey SC, my advice would be ignore him and keep on living your life. My ex did the same thing many times, just to screw with me. It is not worth the headache IMHO. Take Care
LovelyDaze Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 Just curious but how does it make you feel when he does that? Are you angry, hopeful, sad, confused? My ex didn't go to such extremes and never said he wanted to be back with me but he would do weird nice things for me and it would just piss me off. He was really into the whole let's be friends thing but that's only because we hang around the same people and he didn't want to be uncomfortable when we were both out somewhere. Whenever he got on the let’s be friends kick, I would first feel hopeful that maybe he’s thinking about us but then I would realize how selfish the whole let’s be friends is and would get extremely angry. Last time I went off on him so bad that we’ve been NC for 6 months and I know we will never speak to or acknowledge each other again. Deep, deep in my heart I feel like, "Yea, he wants me back-good thing" but my sense of logic screams bloody murder that he is playing me for a big fool. I can see the future. He will contact me again when he returns, hell-maybe during his tour whenever he can but my soul is resilient enough to know that he is just not the man for me. He has battered my heart until a crumpling mess long enough and I just don't want to end up finding out how depressed this idiot can possibly make me. I stay away.
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