brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'll keep this as brief as I can and if you all want to know more, feel free to ask. I've been dating a girl for about a month now. Things have gone VERY well, we've spoken just about every day or so since and have lots in common, blah blah blah. She had made some plans to spend Xmas with friends. On Christmas Day, I texted her to say Merry Christmas and didn't hear back from her. I was bummed...but my friends insist its the holidays and people get caught up. Duly noted. Next day (Saturday night) we spoke after she got off work. She works retail and it has been horrendous. Sunday was our first day off together since we've been dating and she wanted to rest because she was tired, but said she wanted to see me sometime on Sunday. She did not contact me at all and did not respond to my phone call/voice mail on Sunday. I expected to hear from her yesterday (Monday), but still nothing. It is now almost 1PM EST here and I still have yet to hear from her, but saw her car at work this morning on my way to work. So I am wondering what is going on here. My first instinct is SCREAMING at me that she's dating someone else that's much cuter, thinner, and has more money (as has been the case with every other girl I've dated thus far). Any of you go through this? I'm not sure what to do. I'm really digging this girl and up until Christmas Day I was feeling it back tenfold.
DustySaltus Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 My first instinct is SCREAMING at me that she's dating someone else that's much cuter, thinner, and has more money (as has been the case with every other girl I've dated thus far). Those aren't your instincts talking, it's your sense of self. If you keep thinking like that it won't matter what happens. Confidence in yourself is key. Call her up and ask her what the deal is. Listen to the tone of her voice if she decides to pick up. If she doesn't get back to you, consider yourself given the gift of freedom. It's been almost a week now and no text on Christmas...sounds like the honeymoon period is over, if not more. I'm sorry, I know it sucks but it has nothing to do with you..it's on her at this point. With that being said I do think your instincts could be correct. Is she recently single?
Author brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 No, shes been single for quite some time now, since before summer. I'd like to note that we spent the night together a few days before Christmas. That was the last time I physically saw her. In terms of my sense of self I have plenty of confidence in myself. What my biggest problem is is the lack of honesty or communication from women who expect men to be honest and communicative.
DustySaltus Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I understand what you mean. I'm glad you have confidence in yourself. What are you going to do? Are you going to let her string you along or call her out on her bs?
Left in a Lurch Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I think if you call her out, you'll probably get it turned around on you like you don't understand her busy schedule and how she was about to call you but got busy with some bs.... and you'll be the bad guy for being so unreasonable that you expect a girl you are dating to accept contact from you more than once every 2 weeks. You'll hang up wondering how it ended up being all your fault. She may well be seeing someone else, or may have been thinking it over during the holidays. I'd say don't dwell on it and don't try to guess what she is thinking and doing. You made enough effort, sit back and see what happens. If she is like this now, how miserable will you be in 6 months when she still acts like this and you are still not sure where you stand? If she comes back and makes an effort to contact you and shows she is interested, great. If not, you'll know where you stand. She may have good reasons and she may not be trying to blow you off, but only time will tell- you can't control it.
Author brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 I decided I was going to let it go for today. If I don't hear back from her thats fine, but I'll give her a call tomorrow and just ask her how she's been and that I haven't heard from her in a few days. I would like to spend New Years with her...so I figured if I hit her up tomorrow and she "has plans" I'm taking that as my hint to move on. Its just so weird because, for once my friends and I all agreed that this was a chick that was smart, intelligent, beautiful, down to earth, doesn't play games, etc., and now she's acting all weird. Its just confusing and disappointing honestly.
sagetalk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Its just so weird because, for once my friends and I all agreed that this was a chick that was smart, intelligent, beautiful, down to earth, doesn't play games, etc., and now she's acting all weird. Its just confusing and disappointing honestly. I think a month is a little too soon to come to that conclusion.
Vintage79 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 There's always the words of wisdom, "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Some times having some time off without contact is good for the relationship, as it helps you realize that you actually like/care for the person...obviously this can backfire as well, but in the early stages of a relationship when endorphins are running high, some silence almost always works.
meerkat stew Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 If you had been in daily contact, and then a string of unreturned messages to her, something is wrong. If you aren't exclusive, stop contacting her altogether and move on to other options. If you are exclusive, call her or meet her and break up. When people are dating near Christmas and NYE, they tend to keep in closer contact with those they see a future with, and tend to stray from those they don't. Don't take it personally, just fade out of her life entirely without wasting more precious time and move on.
Author brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Ok...now I am f**king confused... I sat here and read all of these replies and didn't know what to think, and she called me. So what did I do? I didn't answer the stupid phone. I am going to blatantly ignore some of you.
Left in a Lurch Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Her bf must have been at work. J/k.
Author brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 hahahaha F U Chat Room Hero Everything is fine. Some key points. She apologized for not calling. Said that she just wanted to reset after the madness that was Christmas working at retail. Said she was worried I was mad at her and that she missed me and wants to see me after work today. I think Vintage hit it on the head. Thank you for the POSITIVE responses everyone
DustySaltus Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Ok...now I am f**king confused... I sat here and read all of these replies and didn't know what to think, and she called me. So what did I do? I didn't answer the stupid phone. I am going to blatantly ignore some of you. *deer in headlights* You have two options: Call her back and ask her what her plans are for NYE. Don't mention anything else.... OR Call her out on her BS and open up a can of worms.... Either way, CALL HER BACK!
someotherguy Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 My instinct is that she is playing games and/or multi-dating. The truly important thing is to ask yourself what you are comfortable with, and whether she makes you feel comfortable or anxious. If you don't mind occasional games, and women who don't respond for days or weeks at a time, cool. However...from reading your posts, it sounds like you desire a higher level of communication than this girl is giving you, and you need to talk to her about it and get on the same page. Otherwise, you probably need to end it and find a girl who is more your speed and stop wasting your time with this one. To be totally frank, talking every day then dropping to a week of silence sounds like she lost interest in you and/or gained interest in someone else, sorry.
meerkat stew Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Said that she just wanted to reset after the madness that was Christmas working at retail. Regardless that you apparently just want "positive" beam o sunshine replies, this excuse is -weak-. My instinct is that she is playing games and/or multi-dating... To be totally frank, talking every day then dropping to a week of silence sounds like she lost interest in you and/or gained interest in someone else, sorry. And here it is stated better than I originally did.
Author brokenglass Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Yeah whatever. We'll see. Thanks anyway guys...
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