stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Idk man, but I appreciate your input... i know bro...its sucks. i guess you can say "F it" and play it how you want to play it and if they run, they run. At least you are being true to yourself that way. its hard. really hard. been driving me crazy the last 2 days especially. one minute she is responsive and letting me in a little, the next I am sitting here hoping for a text back for 2 days.... i have no idea if she is playing the game, or just isnt that interested or this is just who she is. I hope she is playing the game, cause i dont want someone who has a huge wall built up around them..
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 People who play games are definitely not what I'm looking for, and I can't understand their logic beyond that they do so in order to satisfy an insecurity of theirs. I mean, if you constantly go about life feeding off the acceptance of others through manipulation than your doing so to satisfy something you can't seem to generate in other more positive ways. These people are obviously not interested in something serious either dating or relationship-wise. Wouldn't you agree?Whether they're serious or not, my personal opinion is that it's counterproductive, if they're interested in a viable, long-term relationship. LTRs require trust and respect, whereby games just detract from it. In the past, I've dated enough guys who pretended to be what they're not. It's a pet peeve of mine.
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 i know bro...its sucks. i guess you can say "F it" and play it how you want to play it and if they run, they run. At least you are being true to yourself that way. its hard. really hard. been driving me crazy the last 2 days especially. one minute she is responsive and letting me in a little, the next I am sitting here hoping for a text back for 2 days.... i have no idea if she is playing the game, or just isnt that interested or this is just who she is. I hope she is playing the game, cause i dont want someone who has a huge wall built up around them.. Well, then how do you know your doing anything right at all? I think if you two develop something more months down the road then you should tell me what is right and what isn't, but until then your in the same boat I am -- unsure...
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Well, then how do you know your doing anything right at all? I think if you two develop something more months down the road then you should tell me what is right and what isn't, but until then your in the same boat I am -- unsure... you're right... like i said, my last GF, i didnt play any games, and we were inseparable right from the start. we didnt play any games, wore our feelings on our sleeves and away we went. lasted 2 years.
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Whether they're serious or not, my personal opinion is that it's counterproductive, if they're interested in a viable, long-term relationship. LTRs require trust and respect, whereby games just detract from it. In the past, I've dated enough guys who pretended to be what they're not. It's a pet peeve of mine. What surprises me is that much of the women I talk to say the same thing you do, but when it comes down to acting that way they don't follow their own terms. Stupid, no?
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 you're right... like i said, my last GF, i didnt play any games, and we were inseparable right from the start. we didnt play any games, wore our feelings on our sleeves and away we went. lasted 2 years. Right, and that is what I want. I'm done with playing games and if the girl wants to play that I'm not interested.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 What surprises me is that much of the women I talk to say the same thing you do, but when it comes down to acting that way they don't follow their own terms. Stupid, no? thats why i say its subconscious....i dont think most of them are playing games.... it's simple...if you show women less attention, they want you more. it's hard wired into us as humans.
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Well, I'm off to a friend's house... Keep the input coming! I'd love to discuss this more! Be back later...
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Right, and that is what I want. I'm done with playing games and if the girl wants to play that I'm not interested. i'm getting there....this damn girl just has me by the balls right now and i dont want to screw it up...so i'll play along. maybe i dont have any balls at all if I'm succumbing to the 'game' who knows...im just so tired of it. cant wait for 3-4 weeks from now when i know whats going on....
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 I'm sorry...not trying to call you out or anything...but I just don't agree with this. I think too many rules have been established that are really screwing up natural progression. I'm dealing with the same issues as OP (except I'm a woman) and I find it very frustrating that we find both of us want to talk to each other and makes plans and get closer, but due to the rules, neither feels we should be the one to initiate it. So what I've figured out is that I need to meet someone who doesn't feel this set of rules needs to be followed. We contact when we want, we're open with each other if one is too close or distant, and we enjoy each other. It doesn't have to be so complicated if there's a natural attraction and connection. Right. And look guys, all this coming from a girl? **gasp** lol
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 What surprises me is that much of the women I talk to say the same thing you do, but when it comes down to acting that way they don't follow their own terms. Stupid, no?Don't get into the gender war thing, 'cause men say A LOT of things but do something else too!!
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Right. And look guys, all this coming from a girl? **gasp** lol unfortunately for us, everyone is different. i would much prefer the girl above's approach, believe me.
Author bwidger Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Don't get into the gender war thing, 'cause men say A LOT of things but do something else too!! Oh, I am not, trust me. It took my YEARS to find out women and men aren't as different as people would think. If anything, very similar to almost everything besides anatomy obviously... I just can't say that men ignore me all the time because then I'd be something else, right? Lol. So when I say women are like this you have to understand that is the only thing I can say, but thanks for the forewarning -- heeded Anyways, I really need to get going but I have so much to want to discuss with you people! Arg! Muust goooo….
Bejita463 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 If they fall out to be "duels" then don't you think something is wrong then? Dating isn't suppose to be a duel... That was intended to be humorous with a touch of truth, rather than the other way. (Sorry for the late reply, I was out doing stuff.)
boogieboy Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) And everyone is telling the women, don't contact him first, don't call him, don't be too available. Men LIKE the hunt, men LIKE the mystery, if you're too available HE'll lost interest blah blah. If he doesn't call you in between dates "He's not that into you". So tell me how these opposing views and instructions are supposed to ever get anyone together? I think a random text is nice. I think calling 5 times a day is too much. That's going to be relative to the people involved. I agree with let her wonder about you, miss you and think about you, but not to the point where she has to wonder if it's an "out of sight out of mind" situation. The problem is after he gets their numbers and starts texting them, he cant tell that they are losing interest, which is why he wonders why they ignore him after a while. Bwidger, bottom line is if they just dont like you they wont respond, its just you. many women dont work with logic, so they will say one thing and do another. They will feel one way one minute and change it the next. They will decide that you texted them while they were in a bad mood and that turned them off to you. You cant have em all. Alot of women go to POF and all those sites freshly heartbroken out of a relationship, and they are looking for an ego boost to help them along until they are ready to go out into the world again. Women dont want many of the guys online, for various reasons, but they talk and take numbers so that guys like you will keep blowing up their phones to make them feel wanted. They know that they wont get nearly as much attention in the bar or club, because the numbers are different in real life. The competition is stiffer. Many of the better looking people dont use online dating. Some of those women online actually are looking for something and are fairly normal. So next time you get one of these women who ask you questions, think about if they seem like they are actually curious about you, or are there just to make themselves feel better. (theres of tons of bad guys on there, but thats not his problem) Obviously you have to be saying something to turn these girls off, if they were asking you questions online. You just have to increase your numbers to find the girl really likes you and has no problem with your texting. But if you want success with the majority of the numbers, you have to play the games. These women who blew you off obviously werent that into you, you just gotta keep trying. You also have to gauge their interest level as they text you. That way you can tel what you said to turn them off. Edited December 29, 2009 by boogieboy
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