crizz99 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 so while i was away on a snowboarding trip my girlfriend went to a party and got really drunk and she says she thinks she hooked up with another guy. i have no idea how to react to this. we have been going out for 6 months and i dont want to break up with her, but i feel like every time she gets drunk again and im not there to babysit her, then there's another possibility of her doing it again. i also feel like i wont be able to continue the relationship knowing what she did. i dont think ill be able to trust her again. what should i do
sumdude Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Trust your gut instincts, which sounds to me like you can't be in a relationship with her anymore.
MyNameIsJonas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 so while i was away on a snowboarding trip my girlfriend went to a party and got really drunk and she says she thinks she hooked up with another guy. i have no idea how to react to this. we have been going out for 6 months and i dont want to break up with her, but i feel like every time she gets drunk again and im not there to babysit her, then there's another possibility of her doing it again. i also feel like i wont be able to continue the relationship knowing what she did. i dont think ill be able to trust her again. what should i do I've always viewed alcohol as an explanation, not an excuse. Just the fact that she says she "thinks," meaning she's not sure if she did or not (aka blacking out), is a huge red flag to a much larger problem. While it's commendable that she came forward as she did, I would let her go. You can do better than that.
mansquito Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 In my world, cheating means a kick to the curb 100% of the time, unless there are kids involved. There are plenty of women out there who don't cheat, so why would I waste my time with one who does?
Author crizz99 Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 just putting this out there. both of us are 16 and by "hooked up" i mean just making out. im not sure if this changes anything, but i do and i dont want to break up with her. i feel like id be less happy without her but then with her id feel that the relationship can never be "full"
JL911 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'll help you in saying this...whether you are 16, 20, 26, or 55 there is nothing wrong with establishing how you feel you deserve to be treated in a relationship...This really isnt acceptable behavior in my opinion at any age...Im 26 and would be greatly offended and would feel greatly disrespected if this would happen to me... I think it would be a very strong and stable move for you to kick her to the curb and move on. At 16 there is still plenty (and when I say plenty I mean PLENTY of BS!) more ahead of you, and I feel this is just a lesson learned for you and her both...I for one, dont think you should establish yourself as a male who is willing to be walked all over and forgiving in the same breath...Especially in regaurds to her displaying affection for another male while in a relationship... It will teach you both a valuable lesson about relationships...1.) There are consequenses for certain actions in a relationship, and 2.) It will help you establish that you deserve and demand to be respected when in a relationship... Bout the best advice I can give ya brother...Be a man and walk away...
sweetjasmine Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 so while i was away on a snowboarding trip my girlfriend went to a party and got really drunk and she says she thinks she hooked up with another guy. i have no idea how to react to this. we have been going out for 6 months and i dont want to break up with her, but i feel like every time she gets drunk again and im not there to babysit her, then there's another possibility of her doing it again. i also feel like i wont be able to continue the relationship knowing what she did. i dont think ill be able to trust her again. what should i do If she can't control her actions while she's drunk and you need to be there to "babysit" her, she's not mature enough to be in an exclusive relationship. If you can't trust her, then there really can't be much of a relationship, either. You're 16, and you've got your whole life ahead of you. There's really no reason why you should stay in a relationship that you feel is incomplete and where you don't trust your partner fully.
sagetalk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I would break up with her. Cheating is something that, if tolerated, will lead you down a road of inconceivable misery.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 In my world, cheating means a kick to the curb 100% of the time, unless there are kids involved. There are plenty of women out there who don't cheat, so why would I waste my time with one who does? mansquito speaks da truth
phineas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Why did she tell you? in my experiance guilt is a major factor or getting blown in by a witness. If guilt, it was most likely much more than just kissing & her "confession" alleviated some of the guilt. If someone saw her then maybe it was only kissing & she told you before someone else did. either way, I've gotten plenty smashed while in a relationship & turned down women. I've also seen plenty of smashed women in relationships turn away men hitting on them.
Author crizz99 Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 except the thing is after my orthodontist appointment this morning i found myself driving to CVS and buying the rest of her christmas gift. and even now, i find myself crying
someotherguy Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Dump her immediately. As other posters have stated, you have your whole life ahead of you, and this will teach you some very important lessons about interpersonal relationships: 1. Treat others are you want to be treated 2. Do NOT let others treat you with disrespect without repercussions, it only encourages their bad behavior Sorry to hear about your bad girlfriend, everyone has one eventually, but good luck on your next one!
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