gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 My Ex (of 2 years) and I split up just over 2 months ago. I asked her to reconsider and she refused. A lot of stuff got said, on both parts, but it's come to light over the past couple of weeks NC (except messages each way on Xmas day initiated by her), that I accept it, and believe moving on with my life is the right thing to. Some days are harder than others, I still have days where I think about her a lot. But I know it's now over, and as time goes by, I'm OK with it. However, I've got a date lined up tonight, anyone think it's too soon......
HeavenOrHell Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Do you still have feelings for your ex? Do you wish you could reconcile with your ex? Are you ready to move on and be with someone else? Is it a rebound (be honest with yourself if it is)? Do you feel in your heart you are ready to date someone else? Can you be upfront with her and say you're only 2 months out of a long term relationship and not looking for anything serious right now? My Ex (of 2 years) and I split up just over 2 months ago. I asked her to reconsider and she refused. A lot of stuff got said, on both parts, but it's come to light over the past couple of weeks NC (except messages each way on Xmas day initiated by her), that I accept it, and believe moving on with my life is the right thing to. Some days are harder than others, I still have days where I think about her a lot. But I know it's now over, and as time goes by, I'm OK with it. However, I've got a date lined up tonight, anyone think it's too soon......
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 gaudi First got to say your words have helped me over the last couple of days so feel compelled to reply. In my frame of mind the answer would be yes (2 days of misery and many more to come and never want to even breathe the same air as another woman as long as I live!!!) but I suppose that each would be different. For some 2 days may be enough (although possibly not the best idea), for others many months. The one thing I've learned from here already is that you have to get on with things (I'll take my own advice once I've been in hell a little longer). Go for it mate, just don't have any expectations whatsoever, don't look for anything or make comparisons, at least you're doing it and if it doesn't feel right you'll know your not ready. My only piece of humble advice is make sure there is no chance of bumping into your ex or anyone she would know. Recipe for disaster!
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Do you still have feelings for your ex? Do you wish you could reconcile with your ex? Are you ready to move on and be with someone else? Is it a rebound (be honest with yourself if it is)? Do you feel in your heart you are ready to date someone else? Can you be upfront with her and say you're only 2 months out of a long term relationship and not looking for anything serious right now? Do I still have feelings for my EX ?? Yes. Do I wish me and EX could reoncile ?? I think about it a lot, but after everything I've been thinking about recently I believe that if the chance was given, I would turn it down as I believe the reasons for the breakup were valid. Am I ready to move on and be with someone else ?? I don't know. Is it a rebound ?? I don't know. Am I ready to date someone else ?? Yes Can I be upfront with her and say I'm only 2 months out of a long term relationship and not looking for anything serious right now? Yes.
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 gaudi My only piece of humble advice is make sure there is no chance of bumping into your ex or anyone she would know. Recipe for disaster! Cheers mate. This bit crossed my mind, but (fingers crossed) it's somewhere out the way so should be OK.
nobmagnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 enjoy your date! Hell you dont have to marry her! Have some fun and move forward. I had a date 3 months after my lowly left. Wow it made me feel amazing! He was fitter, sexier........much younger yummy! hey I had a ball! however i soon started hanging by the phone and mobile too much and realised as lovely as he was (and he was) I couldnt/wasnt ready. I told him I had really enjoyed the time we has spent together but had to let it go. I did have fun tho and have gained a whole new wardrobe of clothes and undies!! hahaha no more off white pants for me......muhahahah have fun with no expectations.....xx
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Ironing my lucky undies as we speak !! (haha not really, I never iron them)
HeavenOrHell Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 If you still have feelings for your ex but realistically you know it would never work with her then maybe see how it goes meeting this new person? In time your feelings for your ex will fade. Be sure you're not doing it just to make your ex jealous though! ie do you secretly hope your ex DOES see you with your date? Make sure you're not dating purely as a means to move on, meeting someone new isn't the only way to move on. I hope things work out for you
anne1707 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Ironing my lucky undies as we speak !! (haha not really, I never iron them) Well at least make sure they're clean
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 If you still have feelings for your ex but realistically you know it would never work with her then maybe see how it goes meeting this new person? In time your feelings for your ex will fade. Be sure you're not doing it just to make your ex jealous though! ie do you secretly hope your ex DOES see you with your date? Make sure you're not dating purely as a means to move on, meeting someone new isn't the only way to move on. I hope things work out for you No it's deffo not something to make my EX jealous, I'm not that callous. If I seen her out on a date it would make me feel low I reckon, but I would have to accept it. Anyway, going somewhere there is next to no chance of her, or one of our mutual frineds being. As for dating as a means to move on, I have other processes, motivations for doing that, but surely a couple of casual dates here and there does help.....
adamt Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 how long did you go out with your ex for? i was 3 years and took me 6 months to feel ready. went two dates with 1 person but didnt want to take it any further. i still prefered my ex. however 3 weeks later i went on another date and she was spot on and i never thought about my ex when a was with this girl. hopeful of a 2nd date in the new year and got a date with a 3rd girl lined up in the new year too. sometimes you need to go out and test the water, sometimes you may meet someone who is perfect to want to go out with. other times if you know pretty early in the date you arnt bothered then you start to think abotu your ex. I wouldnt rush in until you feel you are ready
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 how long did you go out with your ex for? i was 3 years and took me 6 months to feel ready. went two dates with 1 person but didnt want to take it any further. i still prefered my ex. however 3 weeks later i went on another date and she was spot on and i never thought about my ex when a was with this girl. hopeful of a 2nd date in the new year and got a date with a 3rd girl lined up in the new year too. sometimes you need to go out and test the water, sometimes you may meet someone who is perfect to want to go out with. other times if you know pretty early in the date you arnt bothered then you start to think abotu your ex. I wouldnt rush in until you feel you are ready We went out for 2 years, broke up 2 months ago.
nobmagnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Lucky pants at the ready!! Glad they are clean. Who the heck irons pants?????????? Boy they need to get a life! hahahah Good luck what time you meeting her?? where you going? im nosey hahah
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Good look tonight mate, hope it goes well!
Author gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Lucky pants at the ready!! Glad they are clean. Who the heck irons pants?????????? Boy they need to get a life! hahahah Good luck what time you meeting her?? where you going? im nosey hahah We're meeting up at half seven, gonna take her to a place I know out of town on other the side of the river. About to get ready anyway, thanx for all advice. Will let you know how it goes !!
nobmagnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 hey just one thing before you go................if she is wearing a white mini skirt with beefburger legs white stilletoes.................run boy run! xxxall the best cant wait to hear what happens!
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Don't forget an extra splash of swagger on your way out, not for your date but for you. Forget the pants, go commando!!!
nobmagnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 dont you mean "old spice" hahaha commando............ok but not tight trousers nothing worse than a woman fixated on a bouncy knob!
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 LMAO!!! (I'm not really cos I'm too miserable but I would be if I wasn't). gaudi, it would be awful if all these things stick in your head while on your date, she'll think you're really interested in her with a smirk on your face the whole night!!! whatever happens if she says "I've just come out of a relationship and was dumped 2 months ago" - run a mile!!!!
nobmagnet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 how did the date go????????? Was she a minger or lovely?? tel tell tell xx
Author gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 HAHA you's are all mad !! You know what though, the date went sound. Nice and quiet little pub just a few drinks and that, had a real good laugh. She seemed really wary of me at first, but once I got her a drink and started gabbing, she really relaxed. EX's didn't come up, was concentrating on asking about her and her life, made her laugh quite a bit too (which is always good). I don't believe anything will come of it though, as I don't think she is my type really. What it has done is worked wonders for my confidence though !! I'm lining up another (someone else) for next week.
nobmagnet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 why hey!! where are you meeting all these women??? On a dating site? or is it just your sheer magnetism hahahahh glad it went well x
Author gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Magnetism....DEFINITELY !!! HAHA I work 2 jobs and get to meet a lot of people, also go out socialising with mates quite a bit (something I put to one side while I was with EX). It's all helping though, I can feel myself getting stronger day by day, thanx for the advice too. BTW, she didn't have beefburger legs, they were more like corned beef !!!
nobmagnet Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 mmmmmmm i can visualise it now!!! its a great feeling isnt tho to be found attractive? my self worth hit the rocks and beleived i was a minger.......im not! haha naerly 40 tho.........ouch. hey ho im off to the panto tonight!!!! cant wait!! he's behind you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author gaudi Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 Of course it is, it just reinforces the feeling that you were able to attract your Ex in the first place, so obviously you can attract others. But again it's the confidence thing isn't it ?? Confidence I believe is the main thing that attracts people to each other in the first place. I can tell from the stuff you post that you are a confident person, and that's great !!! Even so I'm sure you're absolutely divine to look at too!! Hope you enjoy your panto Cinders xx
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