Author b52s Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) You might want to revise your policy on this. Why should I? That's how I've always done it, and the women were willing to talk on the phone with me. It's silly to set up a date, besides you need the phone number anyways to make the arrangements. The phone call is designated to make the meeting arrangements. It's just common sense. Edited December 29, 2009 by b52s
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 ive actually talked to girls for a month or so before meeting them whether it be calling or webcam or just talking via our mics on the computer and in all actuality it works out better. i think they find it more comfortable to get to know someone a lil better than just hop into a date because hopping into a date is usually awkward from what they say. usually the way we end up talking before the date is how we end up talking on the date so if she likes me before the date she usually likes me a lot more AFTER the date....
Angel1111 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Why should I? That's how I've always done it, and the women were willing to talk on the phone with me. It's silly to set up a date, besides you need the phone number anyways to make the arrangements. The phone call is designated to make the meeting arrangements. It's just common sense. Because there are so many nuts out there, that's why, and women have to be cautious. Once a fruitcake guy has a girl's number, he can drive her nuts. I'm just saying that you might want to take a woman's viewpoint into consideration here. Women can become victims very quickly if they're not careful. Don't disrespect a woman's caution.
Author b52s Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Because there are so many nuts out there, that's why, and women have to be cautious. Once a fruitcake guy has a girl's number, he can drive her nuts. I'm just saying that you might want to take a woman's viewpoint into consideration here. Women can become victims very quickly if they're not careful. Don't disrespect a woman's caution. Um, isn't that the normal way it was done, even before the internet....exchange of #'s Ted Bundy was a murderer...so it doesn't matter, and that was before the internet.
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I think it's brilliant for women to get to know someone for AT LEAST a month, before meeting.
Angel1111 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Um, isn't that the normal way it was done, even before the internet....exchange of #'s Ted Bundy was a murderer...so it doesn't matter, and that was before the internet. Yes but I can personally atest to the fact that a person can meet WAY more nuts on the internet than anywhere else. This is why I don't even do internet dating because of how many loonies I've encountered. I may consider eHarmony someday but all the others are out. That's just where I'm at with it. And I'm guessing that a lot of the women who are on those sites are going to be very cautious.
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I think it's brilliant for women to get to know someone for AT LEAST a month, before meeting. I do too.... i cant believe b52's really just brought up ted bundy as the argument as to why he should get the phone numbers....hhahahahaha
Author b52s Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 I do too.... i cant believe b52's really just brought up ted bundy as the argument as to why he should get the phone numbers....hhahahahaha Hey, I was just demonstrating there's nuts out there no matter where you go....nuts existed even before the net. And traditional, the man asks for the digits if she meets her at a bar or a college class or bookstore So taht's where numbers are exchanged.
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I do too.... i cant believe b52's really just brought up ted bundy as the argument as to why he should get the phone numbers....hhahahahahaTo be fair to b52, he wasn't the one who brought up Ted Bundy in the first place. The more careful women are with strangers, the better for them. Also, if a guy can't give her comfort level with him, within an easy medium like cyberspace, I can't see why she would want to take it any further.
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 To be fair to b52, he wasn't the one who brought up Ted Bundy in the first place. The more careful women are with strangers, the better for them. Also, if a guy can't give her comfort level with him, within an easy medium like cyberspace, I can't see why she would want to take it any further. yeah i feel the same way. if you cant talk to someone for a month before you meet them and let them acclimate to who you are then i dont feel that they should date you anways. most women i talk to usually say that the guys they talk to previous to me are really pushy and it feels like an interview....
mansquito Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 And traditional, the man asks for the digits if she meets her at a bar or a college class or bookstore Exactly. Rightly or wrongly, my view of the the types who require a weeks or months of online-only interaction is that they probably lack the basic social skills that I require in a partner. People have been getting together for drinks or coffee, sight unseen even, for decades. If this notion freaks a woman out, then we're unlikely to hit it off. I went on a few dates with a girl who was very cagey about her personal info. She wouldn't tell me her last name, even after three dates, despite having sucked face. For that and a few other reasons, I decided to stop taking her calls. She acted really hurt a couple of weeks later when she ran in to me out with somebody normal. I'm like, "Well, it's a little weird to expect exclusivity when I don't even know your last name."
Stockalone Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 To be fair to b52, he wasn't the one who brought up Ted Bundy in the first place. The more careful women are with strangers, the better for them. Also, if a guy can't give her comfort level with him, within an easy medium like cyberspace, I can't see why she would want to take it any further. I would have thought women would like to meet sooner rather than later, considering how much emphasis women put on chemistry. Wouldn't knowing how the man walks, the way he holds a glass of water, how he treats a waitress, how he reacts to you in person, etc. help to determine if there is chemistry? I understand the safety concerns. But if you meet in a public place (you can choose a restaurant/bar/etc), and have the guy give you his number, that would make it rather safe, would it not? You can call the guy if you run late or if you can't find him without having to give him your own number. He wouldn't know where you life, what you number is. Granted, he could follow you home, or kill you in a dark ally behind the restaurant where you had dinner, but how likely is that? And even if you talk for months before you first meet, the guy can still turn out to be a dud once you meet in person. I also think it raises the expectations. The longer you talk before you meet, the more of an idea of who you think the other person is going to be like will manifest itself. That's not always a good thing. The person you meet will have to fight a idealized version of himself that you have created in your head. And wouldn't it also be a bigger disappointment finding out then that the guy is a dud, compared to meeting the same guy after a week or two? Personally, I wouldn't mind waiting and I certainly don't think it's wrong. I'm just surprised because I am not sure what the reason for waiting is.
phineas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 If she's hot, there are probably 5 or 6 guys in line ahead of you. so maybe their just stalling until they can fit you in?
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I would have thought women would like to meet sooner rather than later, considering how much emphasis women put on chemistry. Wouldn't knowing how the man walks, the way he holds a glass of water, how he treats a waitress, how he reacts to you in person, etc. help to determine if there is chemistry? I understand the safety concerns. But if you meet in a public place (you can choose a restaurant/bar/etc), and have the guy give you his number, that would make it rather safe, would it not? You can call the guy if you run late or if you can't find him without having to give him your own number. He wouldn't know where you life, what you number is. Granted, he could follow you home, or kill you in a dark ally behind the restaurant where you had dinner, but how likely is that? And even if you talk for months before you first meet, the guy can still turn out to be a dud once you meet in person. I also think it raises the expectations. The longer you talk before you meet, the more of an idea of who you think the other person is going to be like will manifest itself. That's not always a good thing. The person you meet will have to fight a idealized version of himself that you have created in your head. And wouldn't it also be a bigger disappointment finding out then that the guy is a dud, compared to meeting the same guy after a week or two? Personally, I wouldn't mind waiting and I certainly don't think it's wrong. I'm just surprised because I am not sure what the reason for waiting is.I can see why people would feel this way but as someone who's intensely careful about dating strangers, you can get a feel for someone through online contact, as well. What you're looking at, is consistency.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Some of these women, I swear they want a pen pal not a date...or not even meet. when it comes to "matters of the heart" men tend to be quite impatient...it is the patient man who gets the girl(s)
Stockalone Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) I can see why people would feel this way but as someone who's intensely careful about dating strangers, you can get a feel for someone through online contact, as well. What you're looking at, is consistency. Don't get me wrong, it makes perfect sense, and this is precisely what I would expect from someone I met by chance. I guess I just didn't expect it in the context of online dating. Online dating seems like catalog shopping to me (I have never tried online dating though) and would have thought that if the sole purpose for being on a dating site is to meet people, that a first date would happen sooner. I don't think I will ever try online dating, but if I do, I try to keep that perspective in mind. Edited December 29, 2009 by Stockalone
threebyfate Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Don't get me wrong, it makes perfect sense, and this is precisely what I would expect with someone I met by chance. I guess I just didn't expect it in the context of online dating. Online dating seems like catalog shopping to me (I have never tried online dating though) and would have thought that if the sole purpose for being on a dating site is to meet people, that a first date would happen sooner. I don't think I will ever try online dating, but if I do, I try to keep that perspective in mind.Perhaps that's the difference. I've never online dated but did open up a fake profile once, to test what I had read on LS about picture or no picture, what kind of profile draws hits. My fiance at the time, knew I was doing this so it's not as if I tried to cheat on him. I agree that online dating is like catalogue shopping but that's just our perspective. For some, it's not like that and it's their preference and perspective. I did get involved with a guy online by chance and was very cautious about proceeding. For all kinds of reasons, we never met.
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