not able to understand if he really loves me

[lavanya]

hi

i m in love with this person for last 2 years,we are planning to get married.We are working in the same office,he is my senior.But he never has time for me.Although i know he is quite busy with this present job and pursuing his PhD ,but sometimes i feel he does not mean what he says.

He says he loves me a lot but he cant give me time because we cannot meet openly and during office hours he has work.I try to undersatnd him,but i m fed up waiting fir him all the time.If i get him some gift,that too he will not pick up for weeks,it is only when i get angry that he remembers to pick it up,says sorry,and that he will not repaeat it,but next day the same story.

If i call him after office hours from my home,and he is with friends,he will just leave a sms ,"call u later" ,and never calls back.He goes to home town for 1 week and says i will call u daily,but never calls.He goes to friends wedding ,doesnt find time to call.If he is in some meeting,then he will come out of the conference room many times to make a call to someone,for hours ,but never comes to me for even 5 minutes to say hi.And if i tell him so,he says be was busy.

I feel he needs me only when no one else is around to give him company .I even talked to him about these things,every time he accepts his mistake,and says he will give me time,but that never happens.This is happening for last 2 years,a;most daily.I even tried to break off from him,but he started crying,said he really loves me a lot,and cant live without me.And the same situation is with me,i m not able to leave him.

Daily i keep waiting for him for hours,and finally i loose mu temper,although i dont want to.

I feel he will always be like that,in that case m i going wrong somewhere,should i cooperate with him,is he right?Is finding 5 minutes for me so difficult?

 

He said he never hides anything from me,but he never told me he watches porn vedios,it was shocking to me.But we broke into tears ,said that everyone in his friend circle watches it(He is a from IIT,Kanpur),and that it was shown as a part of ragging in firt year Btech.And that nonone in IIT thinks that it is wrong.He promised to leave that.But he broke my trust.Even after that i forgave him,because he is not a bad person,But now i dont know whether to trust him or not.

 

Plzz help me.

Does he really love me?

[temple]

Whether he loves you or not, I think the issue here is that he is just plain lazy. No, finding 5 minutes a day to text you is not difficult. Even the thought of you leaving him wasn't a good enough kick in the pants to get him to work on himself. It sounds like he's fairly secure in the knowledge that you will be there for him. Do you really want to marry this guy? I'm not suggesting you leave him, but it sounds like you both have a LOT to work on in the relationship before it can go any further (and once you get married it will be much more difficult to leave).