jjzay Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 My pre-fiance and I have been on and off for three years, but there's just one thing that keeps popping into my head over and over again. I just don't know how to stop it! February 22, 2007(..I remember all the dates..unfortunately), she cheated on me. That night she had told me she was going to call and she never did. After she didn't call, I had this feeling at the pit of my stomach that I just couldn't cope with. Sure enough, the next day I found out that she had cheated on me. We went on for a month without talking. Unfortunately, her bratty little brother kept me updated on EVERYTHING that she did...how many times she slept with him etc etc. Long story short, every time something bad starts occurring, that's the first thing that pops in my head, me thinking that she's cheating on me again and that leads to me getting mad. I don't like being mad at her. I hate it.. So, how exactly do I get rid of this..? I want to get this past us and move on with the next happy chapter of our relationship.
Bryanp Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I am just curious but if the roles had been reversed do you honestly think she would seriously be considering marrying you?
an hero Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 She slept with him multiple times on one night?
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 you will never forget and always be wondering about it...
lostsunsets Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 She sleeps with a guy multiple times? Dump her. You know she can cheat. Why would you want to marry her?
mansquito Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 For God's sake, don't marry this chick. She's already proven that she can't be trusted, and you should have probably kicked her ass to the curb three years ago. Unless she's already the mother of your children or something, you should give her the boot and never speak to her again. Don't listen to anybody who gives you crap for not being able to get over it. These people are either suckers or cheaters themselves. Time for the ejection seat.
Javelin Posted December 31, 2009 Posted December 31, 2009 For God's sake, don't marry this chick. She's already proven that she can't be trusted, and you should have probably kicked her ass to the curb three years ago. Unless she's already the mother of your children or something, you should give her the boot and never speak to her again. Don't listen to anybody who gives you crap for not being able to get over it. These people are either suckers or cheaters themselves. Time for the ejection seat. Nuff' said!
MrFun Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 The second part to this story is, she'll cheat again, and she'll give you mixed signals for years and then out of the blue she'll dump you. You'll walk the planet cynical and angry at yourself for a long while. Broken, you'll start a number of relationships and they all break before your eyes, and you'll start wondering if there's something wrong with you. There is. This will be a longer journey than you can imagine, and one of the most emotional (good and bad) in your life. I know, cos that is also my story.
ducknrun Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Wow sorry that it has been this long for you man. It's hard to break away.. It was for me. I just split a little under a year and now dealing with the coping. I'm not exactly sure about your situation is but if your not back together by now (not saying that you should be) then leave. If you’re not going to do it now you’re going to do it later. As everyone else is already saying... she is a cheat now what do you expect alter from here. You can find someone else some one better. If you keep on this path al you will come to do if probably hate yourself or her and lose one thing you can't get back... TIME! I can't find the post that I liked about trust, but it says Trust is based on continuous verifiable information/actions. Something I bet you don't have from her
Zeegagge Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Yah, my fiance cheated on me once... Then it happened again and again and then she left me. And oh how I know the feeling of not being able to trust someone, its hard. Its terrible. We couldn't have fun when we went out anymore and I think that's part of what killed the relationship.
Clep Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 She cheated on you more than once and it was all in one night? That confuses me. If I were you I would have informed the brother I do not wish to hear about her for starters if I had chosen to stay and try to get over it. It seems to me that you cannot get over it. I do not know if it is due to obsessive thoughts on your part or signals of continued behavior on hers, but it seems clear to me for whatever reason you aren't getting over it. I personally would seek some outside aid in getting over it or leave the situation. I hope it works out for you.
Author jjzay Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 She just cheated one time though. We're about to get married you know and she just cheated once. But, I can just never forget about it. She hasn't given signs that she will do it again. On the contrary, she's completely loyal. It amazes me. But, I just don't understand why I can't forget about her cheating on me to begin with..
Author jjzay Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 If she wasn't considering it, she wouldn't have said yes when I asked her to marry me.
jnj express Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Either get over it, or move on---you have a trust problem----IMHO you shouldn't get married---just live with her as in common law-----Was her ONS tied to alcohol???? Did you ever find out why she had the ONS????
road Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Did she tell you who she banged? Dumb her. If you marry her odds are that you will be back her later in life saying what should I do my wife cheated on me, again.
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