Faker Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I did ok for a couple days...but now i just broke the NC rule. i sent him an email asking why he has not added me back on facebook. and now im just crying again. im having nightmares too, every night since the break up i've had nightmares. I also found out my ex never intended to meet up with me, he 'stood' me up, or had intended to do so. how do i cope?
EYECANDY000 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 First off dont consier yourself as weak. Because when you think you are weak then you become weak. I am going through a break up myself and it is extremely hard. I try hanging around family and friends and people who I know genuinely care about me. I have stopped the crying, which is a good thing. I have cried every single day. One thing that has helped me to get stronger is to think about what hes doing. I say to myself "is he at home crying his self to sleep, is he losing weight because he doesnt have an appetite for anything, is he feeling distant from family and friends? and guess what the answer to all these questions is NO! so why should I? Find something that motivates you. whether is a word, an experience, a motto, anything! and let that be your motivation for not contacting him. last night I had a dream that my ex tried to kill me! or the neighbor. I woke up right before i seen who the rope was for! wierd i know.. lol
HLP234 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I would try and stay away from facebook or any site where you can see what they are doing. It only leads to no good. Like eyecandy said, are they the ones feeling like crap, depressed and thinking about how you are doing? Probably not. I'm the one missing them, sunken into depression and probably also lost weight, which is not healthy at all. Go and hang out with other people, go out as much as you can..it will keep your mind off of it, and if you meet someone you like than it will be easier to forget everything that is bothering you.
Back2dabasics Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 i would disactivate facebook for a while til you get over your ex. that's what i'm doing and honestly its working. i feel great...but now i have realized facebook is whatever lol. anyway perhaps it was a mistake breaking NC but what's done is done. start again the healing process. do whatever you can to avoid him. delete his #, etc.
Author Faker Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) I have lost weight...and im struggling to say the least. The nightmares make it hard to focus, and I remember them through the day. One dream was horrible in how beautiful it was, I dreamed that he had grown older and had a small child...and the child was ours. Another dream was that he was sleeping with another woman. Other nightmares are just as bad. I have cried so much so that it looks like my right eyelid is starting to become infected, I don't know if thats possible...but...I am going out on a date...and im terrified. I have discovered that he is talking dirtily to other girls on facebook, and it just makes me mad. But i kind of think the anger might be a good thing for me, so that I don't blame myself. Edited December 29, 2009 by Faker
Back2dabasics Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I have lost weight...and im struggling to say the least. The nightmares make it hard to focus, and I remember them through the day. One dream was horrible in how beautiful it was, I dreamed that he had grown older and had a small child...and the child was ours. Another dream was that he was sleeping with another woman. Other nightmares are just as bad. I have cried so much so that it looks like my right eyelid is starting to become infected, I don't know if thats possible...but...I am going out on a date...and im terrified. don't let HIM affect your health. your health is most important. after my ex broke up with me, i kept having dreams of her. i felt like my world was ending but i'm still here and i feel 90% of me got over her. listen keep yourself occupied. go to the gym. that's like a secret way of relieving your stress and worries. go out with your friends and do creative and spontaneous things. i'm sure you're young and beautiful. don't let ONE single GUY ruin your whole life. and as for the date you're gonna go to. i hope its not your ex cuz that will be worse.
Author Faker Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 don't let HIM affect your health. your health is most important. after my ex broke up with me, i kept having dreams of her. i felt like my world was ending but i'm still here and i feel 90% of me got over her. listen keep yourself occupied. go to the gym. that's like a secret way of relieving your stress and worries. go out with your friends and do creative and spontaneous things. i'm sure you're young and beautiful. don't let ONE single GUY ruin your whole life. and as for the date you're gonna go to. i hope its not your ex cuz that will be worse. And no, my date is not my ex.
Back2dabasics Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 oh okay. that's a start then. good luck
Angel1111 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) This guy has abused you, he has mistreated and dismissed you in numerous ways, yet you continue to pursue him. You need to learn that your dignity and self-respect come before everything else. Every time you contact this guy, every time you utter even one peep to him, you look worse in his eyes, and he thinks less and less of you. If he comes back, it will be because he knows he can use you, and he will end up making you feel worse than you do right now (and, yes, it is possible to feel worse). You need to stop being so aggressive towards men, particularly this guy. You seem to think that all your little 'i love you's' and begging and pleading and being little miss understanding is somehow cute and is going to get you rewards. It won't. It only degrades you. Even if you could get him back, you should not want this guy back. He's abusive, and he doesn't care about you as a person. Asking him why he won't add you to facebook is inappropriate because it means that you've chosen to completely ignore the facts. Edited December 29, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Faker Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 This guy has abused you in every way a person can be abused, he has mistreated and dismissed you in numerous ways, yet you continue to pursue him. You seriously need to get a grip, and learn that your dignity and self-respect come before everything else. Read that again because you don't seem to understand the concept of dignity. Every time you contact this guy, every time you utter even one peep to him, you look worse and more pathetic in his eyes, and he thinks less and less of you. If he comes back, it will be because he knows he can use you, and he will end up making you feel worse than you do right now (and, yes, it is possible to feel worse). You need to stop being so aggressive towards men, particularly this guy. You seem to think that all your little 'i love you's' and begging and pleading and beling little miss understanding is somehow cute and is going to get you rewards. It won't. It only degrades you. Even if you could get him back, which I doubt, you should not want this guy back. He's abusive, and he doesn't care about you as a person. Asking him why he won't add you to facebook is the most ridiculous thing you could say to him because it means that you've chosen to completely ignore the facts. I don't know what your age is but, honestly, you're acting like a 12-yr-old. Grow up. I don't know why you are choosing to verbally attack me, I am not forcing you to respond to my story, you choose to do so yourself. And it appears to me that you are being rude and using abusive language to try to force your opinion on me. While I agree that he was abusive, that is no justification for dumping on me. You seem to be taking my story personally.
sean1970 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I don't know why you are choosing to verbally attack me, I am not forcing you to respond to my story, you choose to do so yourself. And it appears to me that you are being rude and using abusive language to try to force your opinion on me. While I agree that he was abusive, that is no justification for dumping on me. You seem to be taking my story personally. While she could have left out the last couple of lines, the rest is not abusive. Tough love maybe, but not abusive Sadly, we do look weak when we plead, beg, cry... Especially when the other knows how poorly they have treated us. No one likes/respects needy people let alone want to have them as a lover. Ask yourself Faker, really... WHy do I want him as a friend? I know who he is, I've seen what he has done, why do I want this in my life? "I love him" is not good enough. Love trails Respect and Trust in successful relationships Faker. Does he respect you..? Do you trust him with your feelings?
Angel1111 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I don't know why you are choosing to verbally attack me, I am not forcing you to respond to my story, you choose to do so yourself. And it appears to me that you are being rude and using abusive language to try to force your opinion on me. While I agree that he was abusive, that is no justification for dumping on me. You seem to be taking my story personally. Excellent. Now, go talk to HIM like that. Instead of asking why he won't add you to facebook.
Angel1111 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Faker, I want to apologize for talking to you the way I did. What I was trying to say didn't come across the right way and my words were too strong. I hope you can accept my apology. I promise to stay away from your posts from now on and that way you'll feel comfortable about posting on here. Again, I'm sorry.
lostboyuk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Hey all,I really hope you don't mind me saying but we're all so emotionally charged on here, sometimes defensive, sometimes positive in our beliefs, but we're going through similar feelings and to that end wouldn't wish any more pain on anyone. Sorry, I'm really not trying to butt in, just feeling very 'loved up' with the support I've had from all on LS.
LovelyDaze Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Just in case you still want to go on Facebook but fear seeing your ex' status..just click on the right of his posts that say "Hide" It will hide ALL updates with the exception of your ex personally posting to your wall and/or sending a message to your inbox. That way you don't get tortured with his going-ons AND he would never ever know that you hid his status updates.
HLP234 Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 If he removed you from friends, that should make you mad enough to just forget it in general. Mine removed me from the top friends thing on myspace after a facebook status saying that I was hanging out with a lot of girls..which someone else wrote from my phone because that night I was wasted and left the phone logged on there. The funny thing is she left me and now she is jealous and mad probably that I'm going out and doing watever..which should not matter because she's been doing that and I haven't been so rude to remove her just for that..oh well people are selfish when it comes to this stuff. But hiding what they do will help because it means if you use facebook a lot you can go on there while not worrying. I'm gonna remove my stupid myspace since I only used it because she posted pictures of us on there. No point now since I'm not even on the friends thing anymore. And I hate how I log in there and see her statuses about her and her friend so I'll have one of my friends log in and delete my account so I don't have to see anything.
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