cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Woman tells you she really loves you, attributes a bunch of extremely positive traits to you, then drops from the face of the earth for 2 weeks. This has happened to me, and I don't know what this girls been up to.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 no idea......this seems very odd. are you sure she is still alive?
alphamale Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Woman tells you she really loves you, attributes a bunch of extremely positive traits to you, then drops from the face of the earth for 2 weeks. This has happened to me, and I don't know what this girls been up to. the answer depends upon the relationship prior to this event
boogieboy Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Either shes not alive, or in the hospital, or she told you those things to keep you on the hook.
callingyouuu Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Woman tells you she really loves you, attributes a bunch of extremely positive traits to you, then drops from the face of the earth for 2 weeks. This has happened to me, and I don't know what this girls been up to. Either she's been busy, or she's not that interested. In regards to the latter, I find that women don't feel as bad when they let a guy go if they shower him with compliments first to help him maintain his self-esteem after she bolts. I believe it's called "letting him off easy".
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Woman tells you she really loves you, attributes a bunch of extremely positive traits to you, then drops from the face of the earth for 2 weeks. This has happened to me, and I don't know what this girls been up to. it means she's not interested or she's crazy . or both dont waste anymore time on her
Author cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) This is an obvious question I know, but have you tried to reach her? Was there anything at all in those loving words that said "but"? I lost her phone number due to my phone breaking and can only contact her on AIM. she has yet to respond (she has cell phone AIM). I asked her to send me her number again but no response. She's probably very busy and yes she is crazy, her father passed away a few months ago and lost her job and is trying to break up with her boyfriend for me but needs to find a new place to stay etc. I don't know what to do, I really like her and can't seem to meet any women who I get along with and truly be myself around as well as I do with her. This girl is truly the only woman i ever met where the (personality/spiritual/sexual) chemistry is absolutely perfect, and honestly I'd take her over 1000 supermodels. She claims she feels the same exact way, and everything was going as planned until her dad passed away. This is the reason I haven't moved on yet, I'm thinking she just is going through a lot and want to be there when she gets back to her old self. It's really that special and 1 in a billion situation that only a guy with ****ty luck would be in. I had a few opportunities to have sex with her spur of the moment, but she was saying no but her body was saying yes, so I didn't go through with it because I don't want her to have yet another problem (she is still technically with her BF) to think about. IS she being standoffish because I didn't take her there and then? I remember asking her to come out with me and she said something odd, " I wish ". Edited December 29, 2009 by cognac
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 i''m tellin ya dude dont waste anymore time on her . your just gonna get yourself hurt, porobably badly. if she wants to contact you, she will
Author cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 i''m tellin ya dude dont waste anymore time on her . your just gonna get yourself hurt, porobably badly. if she wants to contact you, she will Yeah. Regardless I'm already pretty hurt, and bracing myself for the worst. I still want to know what the deal is, I tried adding her under a fake facebook (I don't have one) and she hasn't responded yet, so I'm thinking she's just having a nervous breakdown of some kind or just doesn't want to talk to anyone. She did say something about after her father passing she stopped talking to all her friends, even her best friend, except me, so I don't think it's beyond reason to think it's got nothing to do with how she feels about me. Do you think it's stupid for me to be like this for this girl, when it is truly 1 in a billion I would find a girl this amazing who (seems) to love and accept me? I don't ever meet girls that interest me beyond penis and vagina, so is it really that bad of an idea to keep trying? Could reap great benefits, no?
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 i''m tellin ya dude dont waste anymore time on her . your just gonna get yourself hurt, porobably badly. if she wants to contact you, she will im thinking this is pretty good advice right here
D-Lish Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Either she's been busy, or she's not that interested. When someone is truly interested, there is no such thing as being too busy. She's not interested enough.
Art_Critic Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) When someone is truly interested, there is no such thing as being too busy. She's not interested enough. I'd agree.. and also throw in that just because someone says they love you doesn't mean they actually do. Actions back up words and if the actions are not there then the words are just hollow words. Edited December 29, 2009 by Art_Critic
Author cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 She has shown me with actions that she loves me, which is why I say she is one in a billion. One time I was very very depressed, she was there for me the whole time. Never had a girl show me that much kindness as she has. I guess here's the part that bugs me the most. Things were going swimmingly well until her father passed away a few months ago. But she is still with her BF and has been since before then...while she was carrying on with you.[/Quote] She was looking at new apartments during this period. WHY would she have these amazing feelings for you and still be with him? That does not show strong character. If it's because she's living with him and needs to find another place to stay (as I think you eluded to) she's still using him and entertaining another man. You don't try to break up with someone. You just do it. [/Quote] Well honestly I support this since I don't want her to be homeless. And could possibly all these thoughts of her being perfect for you be because she was not quite attainable? One in a million, or billion I think you said??[/Quote] Not at all. I felt this way before I even knew she had a boyfriend. She kept it from me (I never asked directly) until i asked her out on a date and she started bawling and pleading for my forgiveness. I didn't really care and tried to see it from her point of view. She actually TALKED ME into thinking about dating her. Myself as a man, when I see an unattainable woman, I give up. This woman is attainable, I just don't know what to do. The balls in her court right now. Having been an OW at one point in my life, I'll tell you the same thing I tell other OW now. Walk away. Let her resolve these outstanding issues in her life and come to you when she's ready for a healthy relationship. In the meantime, take care of yourself and give yourself time and space to see if she really is one in a billion to you.[/Quote] Yes but I want her now. And even if she doesn't really love me, she is still a woman. She kept bringing up how she needs time and I don't give her time blah blah blah. I guess that's all I can do, but I can't help myself, I'm starting to feel misery and she's not even my goddamn girlfriend. In my 21 years of life I have yet to meet women I like and get along with like this one. This girl thought I was physically attractive, we were intellectual equals, same sense of humor, same sense of adventure, etc , same combination of traditional values with some anarchistic streaks,I'll never find someone else like this, isn't it worth it to atleast keep trying? If nothing comes out of this I know I'll be furious. I tried to talk her out of trying to date me, because I didn't want her to give up her comfy life with her financially stable boyfriend, I knew she would regret it and didn't want to feel guilt over it. She STILL persisted after that!
Author cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 (edited) Go over to the other man/other woman board. It sounds the same. It doesn't take months to find an apartment. Anyway, you love her and want her and that's what matters. I sincerely hope she comes back around and it works out for you. I've been meaning to cut off contact with her. If she was any other girl i would've done it a long time ago (and have done it when I get even the suspicion a woman was manipulating me). But I really don't think I could live with myself thinking "WHAT IF, she was telling the truth, and she does need her time, for reasons I don't understand" and blow it all by telling her off or cutting off contact? The no contact thing doesn't work for me, it's either all or nothing. If I don't burn the bridge, the only thing that will happen is me waking up every day looking forward to her contacting me, only to be disappointed every day. This is why I am confused. I really want to believe that not all women are liars, manipulative and evil. Is it really that much of a gamble to believe in the word of a woman? You said you're 21? If so, you've just started living your life. If this doesn't work out with her, you will meet someone else. You will grow emotionally and spiritually, and things that seem ideal to you now will change. Your perspective on things will change. Hopefully you find yourself with the woman that will change in ways that are complimentary to yours and you find happiness.[/Quote]I don't think so. I think that by my age you are at the pinnacle of your romantic/sexual life, and let's just say mine is less than stellar. Problem is somewhat my looks but also my lack of motivation to go get women, there's just so few women who I can truly get along with outside of sex (in a friendship way). Very few women understand me and see the good in me, in fact none other than this one specific girl and my mother do. Whatever, it seems the genuine concensus is the same with the people here as it is with my good friends. I have to say I'm really disappointed and will be for a long time. Edited December 29, 2009 by cognac
yeex Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I asked her to send me her number again but no response. is trying to break up with her boyfriend for me I had a few opportunities to have sex with her spur of the moment, but she was saying no but her body was saying yes. This is enough to bolt bro. Time to let her go and find somebody else. If she is into you still, then she will contact you. Don't try and figure out why she felt a certain way and now may not. I have been there. That is like chasing your own tail.
Author cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 This is enough to bolt bro. Time to let her go and find somebody else. If she is into you still, then she will contact you. Don't try and figure out why she felt a certain way and now may not. I have been there. That is like chasing your own tail. Yeah. Honestly, this is so frustrating for me, I don't think I even want to have any kind of meaningful relationship with women after this. If a woman who is essentially the female version of me can't keep interest, who will?
Art_Critic Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 If a woman who is essentially the female version of me can't keep interest, who will? Since when does a successful match to someone mean they are the opposite gender twin of theirs ? I want someone who complements my strengths and helps fill in my weaknesses rather than a female twin version of myself.. yuck Sure.. the same likes and dislikes, hobbies etc etc helps to make a match but they aren't the only ingredient that needs to exist for a strong bond to form.
Peitho Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Woman tells you she really loves you, attributes a bunch of extremely positive traits to you, then drops from the face of the earth for 2 weeks. This has happened to me, and I don't know what this girls been up to. She’s just not that into you. That, or something happened to her – which is not very likely. I really want to believe that not all women are liars, manipulative and evil. Is it really that much of a gamble to believe in the word of a woman? Some people are manipulators, others are not. It’s not gender specific. Do you think it's stupid for me to be like this for this girl, when it is truly 1 in a billion I would find a girl this amazing who (seems) to love and accept me Honestly, yes. She is still with her bf and hasn’t contacted you in 2 weeks. How is that acceptance? More importantly, this seems to be your only criterion – for a girl to accept you. You should aim for more than that. Yeah. Honestly, this is so frustrating for me, Frustrating, yes. Life is sometimes. That doesn’t mean you give up. If a woman who is essentially the female version of me can't keep interest, who will? You are in a fake relationship with someone else’s gf. How do you know she didn’t fake her personality too? I don't think I even want to have any kind of meaningful relationship with women after this. You are disappointed which is understandable. It is also significant part of growing up. You are young and life doesn’t end at 22. There are heaps of honest, genuine people out there. Some of them happen to be women. This girl sounds like bad news to me. My advice would be: Cut your losses
TheLoneSock Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Another one will come along to knock your socks off eventually. The worst thing you can do is go about thinking she is one in a billion, and that she is irreplaceable, or she is the only one for you. That leads to more depression if things don't work out, and can fill you with regret. You will have time to grow more and mature by the time the next one comes around; which will make that relationship even better.
sagetalk Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Not at all. I felt this way before I even knew she had a boyfriend. She kept it from me (I never asked directly) until i asked her out on a date and she started bawling and pleading for my forgiveness. I didn't really care and tried to see it from her point of view. She actually TALKED ME into thinking about dating her. Do you not see how badly she's treating her boyfriend, that could be you. Run for your life!
someotherguy Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm not pulling punches on this one, just a warning. She was cheating on her boyfriend with you, then decided she didn't like you enough to leave him for you. Forget all about her and move on, and don't respond if she ever tries to contact you. This girl will destroy you. She will rip your beating heart out of your chest and eat it while you writhe in loathsome pain and agony. This girl is bad news, my friend, and you need to get on with your life and pretend she never existed.
Author cognac Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 (edited) Since when does a successful match to someone mean they are the opposite gender twin of theirs ? I want someone who complements my strengths and helps fill in my weaknesses rather than a female twin version of myself.. yuck Sure.. the same likes and dislikes, hobbies etc etc helps to make a match but they aren't the only ingredient that needs to exist for a strong bond to form. i disagree completely. Women who don't understand my sense of humor or worldview don't generally stick around for long. Another one will come along to knock your socks off eventually. The worst thing you can do is go about thinking she is one in a billion, and that she is irreplaceable, or she is the only one for you. That leads to more depression if things don't work out, and can fill you with regret. You will have time to grow more and mature by the time the next one comes around; which will make that relationship even better.[/Quote]Yeah I guess. But people have been telling me this since I was 13, and since then it's only happened once in that time period. My experience is this optimism about romance is B.S. I acted really mature and grown up with this one, and no dice. Honestly, yes. She is still with her bf and hasn’t contacted you in 2 weeks. How is that acceptance? More importantly, this seems to be your only criterion – for a girl to accept you. You should aim for more than that. [/Quote]You make a good point. What do you want me to aim for though? Another person accepting the whole you, like she did with me, isn't that love? I find many women are not accepting of me, and the fraction who like the way I look they generally find my personality and interests to be different and hence unattractive . I'm not a guy who loves cars, football, etc and I have controversial beliefs. Being able to not only be myself around a girl, but have her LIKE ME for it, is just an amazing experience that for me is the first time in as long as I can remember. You are disappointed which is understandable. It is also significant part of growing up. You are young and life doesn’t end at 22. There are heaps of honest, genuine people out there. Some of them happen to be women. This girl sounds like bad news to me. My advice would be: Cut your losses[/Quote]I don't know, this doesn't bring me any closure. From looking at people around me, in almost every case sure, life doesn't end at 22, it only goes downhill from there. I may find a way to tell her boyfriend about all the stuff his girlfriend's been up to, this will make me feel better. I'm not pulling punches on this one, just a warning. She was cheating on her boyfriend with you, then decided she didn't like you enough to leave him for you. Forget all about her and move on, and don't respond if she ever tries to contact you. This girl will destroy you. She will rip your beating heart out of your chest and eat it while you writhe in loathsome pain and agony. This girl is bad news, my friend, and you need to get on with your life and pretend she never existed.[/Quote]i don't know what I'll do if she ever contacts me, I'll probably respond. I think I'd rather take a chance at feeling what you describe, over not feeling anything at all or wondering "What if". If this girl wasn't interested in me by the way, why would she writhe in horror when I mentioned other women in my life (who for the most part, I made up just to see her reaction). She would say stuff like "well I hope you don't fall in love with" so and so girl or "I know you're one of those macho won't fall in love types, so I'm not worried". I just don't get it, why would she give a **** if she was just using me? It's not like she was getting anything from me materially, I don't even have a car. I could tell she got more than enough attention from her family and friends as well. Edited December 30, 2009 by cognac
justagoodoleboy Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Either she's been busy, or she's not that interested. In regards to the latter, I find that women don't feel as bad when they let a guy go if they shower him with compliments first to help him maintain his self-esteem after she bolts. I believe it's called "letting him off easy". yeah, completely true. this happened to me just recently... "i think you're an amazing guy...but..." shes gone.
Author cognac Posted December 30, 2009 Author Posted December 30, 2009 yeah, completely true. this happened to me just recently... "i think you're an amazing guy...but..." shes gone. I didn't get it quite like that. I didn't get a "but". I really have no idea what her story is. You'd think if she didn't want me she would tell me or imply it, in a mean way, in a nice way, in any way, but she just hasn't said a single word to me. This is worse than flatout rejection.
temple Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Read the OM/OW board and you'll understand how many people are struggling with almost exactly the same confusions. I say run, you can find someone unattached and ready for a healthy relationship.
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