Tincup Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Hi-My ex and I broke up the first week of Nov. We were together for a year and a half. Several times during that period we would break up because she would send me a text message that I either did not get or did not reply to (note I would get 40 texts a day from her). She would just simple go silent when I did not respond to a text, it would drive me crazy. Than one of us would send an email saying that we can't do this anymore. A few days to a week later I would initiate contact and we would get back together. This last time was different in that we had a SMALL run in and it turned into a big issue. I think she has issues with abandonment (I know I do). We broke up (mutually, but for different reasons) and agreed to no contact. Anyway we had no contact for the first 3 weeks are so. Slowly she started to text me again. I told her to please stop so I could heal. She would stop for a few days and start again. I still have strong feelings for her, but I AM SCARED TO DEATH to go through another round with her. I can't take getting dumped out of the blue for no real reason. Some of her last texts were ones such as "I will I was with you tonight (send on xmas eve). I wished her Merry Christmas on Xmas and her response was "I wish I could wrap myself up and hand it over to you, Merry Christmas" So what is going on? Does she want another want to try again? I am so scared of her it is not even funny.
DenverBachelor Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Hi-My ex and I broke up the first week of Nov. We were together for a year and a half. Several times during that period we would break up because she would send me a text message that I either did not get or did not reply to (note I would get 40 texts a day from her). She would just simple go silent when I did not respond to a text, it would drive me crazy. Than one of us would send an email saying that we can't do this anymore. A few days to a week later I would initiate contact and we would get back together. Is this a long distance relationship? Forty texts a day -- is this an exaggeration? Was she expecting a reply to each text message? 1) Serious co-dependency issues. 2) Breaking up over a missed text message is borderline bat-**** crazy "Alice in Wonderland dates the Mad Hatter" type of stupid. 3) One or both of you are using the relationship as a weapon to get back at the other. This is a really sad situation all around. This sounds like a completely dysfunctional relationship from one or both sides. You both need to grow up and get a hold of yourselves. This is not a healthy relationship by any stretch of the imagination.
Author Tincup Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 you know Denver you are right. It is a stupid relationship. We are both adults who are acting like kids. You are the first one to come out and tell me that. I can see it, the relationship makes no sense. But I do love her, and I think she loves me also. But we treat each other like sh^t.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 So what is going on? dude even i can't figure this one out
Author Tincup Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 I will clarify some. Both of us are divorced, but we did not check our baggage at the gate. Both of our ex's had affairs which ended our marriages. When my x GF and I were together in person we got along amazingly well. We had amazing chemistry, the sex was incredible. But when we were not physically together (we each have a house, and each have kids) she would text me a lot. I think it was her was of staying connected to me. Every couple of months she would text me and I would not respond (normally because I was asleep). I guess she felt some strong feelings at that point and time and felt as if I was not there for her when she "needed" me. Her typical reaction at moments like this would be to pull away and simply stop contacting me (probably to avoid getting hurt). It just seemed like we both brought similar baggage from our marriages to the relationship. I am in counseling now to figure out my own issues. The counselor thinks that I don't trust my own judgment right now due to my marriage failure. I guess that is why I am here. I don't trust my own judgment but part of me wants another shot with my xGF but I am scared to death that my judgment is bad AGAIN.
LovelyDaze Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 DB has it completely pegged. It is UNHEALTHY. And I will add that both of you seem to like the drama of the breaking up and making up. Yuck. My ex is in love with that 24/7. He is still engaged yet he still calls,texts and e-mails me. As of late, asked me to wait for him when he returns from Afghanistan in 2011. The nerve, right? No, he is just immature. It's harder work to be in a mature relationship, that's why so many fail.
Recommended Posts